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pinkfloydforeverlove

What are your obsessions?

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My obsessions include my cat being stuck in the oven, my cat being stuck under the garage door, hurting children/people but especially children, leaving the door unlocked, leaving my car door unlocked, leaving the stove on, blaspheming the Holy Spirit, etc. What do you generally obsess on?

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It's sort of nice to know I'm not alone. I obsess about my cat too (both of them). I'm terrified something will happen to them whenever I'm not home. I worry that they will strangle on any dangling blind cords (I wrap them all up but if I don't remember to check I'm terrified that day will be the day). I worry that the house will catch fire and they will be trapped inside. I worry that I left the stove on or my straightener on (or that one of my kids left one of theirs on). I worry that my cat will eat something it shouldn't and choke.

My obsessions do change from time to time. I will worry about one particular thing for years then it will change to something else. For the first 6 years I lived in this house I was convinced every night that someone was trying to break in which set off my panic attacks. I had to sleep with a rolling pin or something under the bed because I was so scared. Then suddenly that one stopped.

I also ruminate constantly on conversations I've had. I worry that I have said something offensive and that that person now thinks badly of me.

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I don't have the typical Pure O obsessions.  But I do have a word stuck in my mind and I obsess over getting rid of it. It has been the same single word for about 13 years, though it has been gone for about 6 years when I was taking an SSRI.

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Although not my most tormenting obsession, one that has caused me frequent difficulties is fear of losing interest in things I love but my efforts to maintain that love only causes me to lose it faster.

Edited by nestor

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i have rather graphic violent intrusive images that depict vulnerable/fragile living beings i care about being broken. i can't say more than that or it'll trigger it happening. i do my best to rid my mind of these horrible things and fear that when i cannot i am possibly seeing what will happen if i can't control myself or if i leave my house or...etc. i obsess over numbers. and taking a "good" breath. which the more i obsess over it the less able to draw a really full deep breath i become and so it's directly counterproductive. mostly, though, it's the images that haunt me and will cause me to increasingly self isolate and could've prevented me from bonding with my child had it not been addressed by my psychiatrist right away and fairly effectively. that's why i take medication to reduce them occurring. i'm afraid i will be weaponized at some point, but that's more likely due to the sz than the ocd.

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Leaving the stove on, the door unlocked, losing my phone, that there is a man standing on the porch watching me sleep when I sleep on the couch, that I'm going to be late for whatever (so I always arrive like ten minutes early), that my cats are gonna get outside and get run over, that I'm not going to finish my duties at work (so I get them done early), that I'm gonna miss my second bus and be stuck an hour away from home for an extra three hours and, on some days, miss work. Things like that are the more typical ones.

I also hate-obsess over certain words, really stupid things. Like I snap at my mom when she calls t-shirts "tees" or tank tops "tanks" or if she says "hot cocoa". Like I was gritting my teeth just typing that out, it's that bad. I'll also count to certain numbers, very often three or a multiple of five, over and over again.

I used to obsess really bad about the possibility that I had said something to piss a friend off if they didn't reply right away, and I still have this one to an extent. Though I no longer have a friend with a chronic short fuse that yells at me for minor slights, so that also helps.

I also have sexually violent intrusive thoughts about a creepy teacher that I had in 6th grade, which was about ten years ago. Though I haven't had those in quite awhile, thank goodness.

One other thing is I obsess over every aspect of my identity, it seems. Like my labels from personality quizzes, my political beliefs, zodiac signs, gender and sexuality, even mental illnesses, etc. Like if you knew me outside of these boards you'd know I'm an INTJ true neutral melancholic Slytherin, Scorpio sun Aries moon Aries rising, who plays Elder Scrolls games as a Breton, sided with the Imperial Legion in the Skyrim civil war, is Team Iron Man as far as the Avengers civil war goes, and mains Reinhardt in Overwatch. Plus more. It's plastered all over my tumblr.

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I used to be crazy obsessed with numbers. I'd have to do something X number of times or it didn't count. X was always an odd number.

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On 10/15/2017 at 12:41 PM, phidippus said:

I obsess on suicide, whether or not I am suicidal. I occassionally get thoughts of molesting children.

I know what you're saying, you typically obsess on the thoughts you know shouldn't really be there.

I've noticed I obsess on anything out of place like violent thoughts, violent actions, suicidal thoughts (not suicidal person).  I've had this thought of chopping my hand off lately that's been persisting over the last week.  It's almost pointless to try and fight it, so I just let it flow...

Sometimes I'm worried about losing control and running someone over with my car.

It's all pretty well controlled as long as my depression/anxiety gets under control.

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Lately I'm having trouble with some other 'sticky' stuff, like the name from a friend will float around constantly. I don't like it, so I worry that why it won't go.
Someone compared it to sensorimotor OCD.  I pay too much attention to an unwanted concept or word. I had this too with breathing, but it only lasted a few days and it wasn't extreme. 
It sometimes feels like a hyperfocus or perseverance like in autism. I'm not autistic though.

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Obsessions:

Obsessing about the idea of never "getting better" psychiatrically in a general sense - depression/OCD

"What if things get so bad that I want to kill myself?"- this unwelcome guest has mostly been kept off the cerebral premises in recent times; knock on wood.

Also, I have (moderate) BDD and OCD so they hang out together - likely they are FWB. A thematic disturbing thought has been "what if I look in the mirror one day and I decide I'm just (average looking, not good looking enough to have any value to myself, and similarly insidiously superficial ruminations)". Fortunately, this Draconian critic has mellowed over time.

I've gotten deeper into being mindful recently and this seems one of the best orientations for some when it comes to problem with the mind. 

Though not disturbing, and even part of my "schtick" to some extent, I will come across a word or phrase (song?) and find myself saying it at random times, adding affectation to my voice or whatever. Sometimes no affectation. I'm can't describe it better ATM; It's an idiosyncracy that goes largely unexamined and attributed to my being a quirky S.O.G.

 

Obsessions that have mostly/completely abated or otherwise been rerouted to Hell in a hand basket:

"I just had the thought of killing my parents. Is this a sign I'm in the early stages of schizophrenia? Am I dangerous?"

"I have images of guns and $&*! in my head. There is something wrong and I don't know what it is."

My first obsession at 17:

"What if the LSD (which was probably underdosed and did nothing but cause anxiety) permanently changed my brain? I've ruined my mind."

I've not struggled with the imagery and harm thoughts for some time. They are 99% buried...May they not rest in peace.

Edited by aur462

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