Hi, all. I feel like a newb oldie: been on here a while, still feel dumb as shit with all the o chem breakdowns and acronyms.
Anyway- I've been maxed out on effexor xr for years now. I've taken it pretty consistently for...12 years? with a few breaks to try something new. There aren't many details I can remember well (always had a bad memory, now it's basically a vestigial feature), but here's what I've garnered:
*SSRIs and i seem to not mix. Not just some side effects, but all the side effects, and no or negative improvement.
*wellbutrin did nothing for me. Not good, not bad- just nothing.
*Effexor was good- great, even- before I tapped out. I've just been staying with it till I can figure something out.
*currently, I take 225 mg Effexor (and several doctors have told me now that they flat out won't go above that), 150 lamictal, and klonopin and Ambien as needed. (And as I've been mightily depressed lately...I've been "as needing" them a lot more.)
I've been wanting to change for a while now, and I've been studying up to see what might be some better options, but haven't had a tdoc or pdoc in the meantime. I'm meeting new ones shortly and I want to take some suggestions to them. Problem is that I'm allergic to a few things, with varying degrees of severity and type of allergic reactions. Any suggestions of SNRIs, TCAs, or MAOIs that aren't:
*sulfa-meds (full body hives. Like...full body- between my toes, in my buttcrack...😬)
*compazine (difficult breathing, light anaphylaxis.)
*darvocet, Vicodin (full-blown anaphylaxis.)
I have been given morphine with no reaction (so, what- does this mean that synethics cause issues, but cleaner natural versions don't?), and take imitrex regularly. I'm not smart enough to understand all of the individual components, and too ADD to have the patience to learn which causes what.
I feel like it's got be something pretty potent, since I've been middling- to severely-depressed pretty constantly (easily 8 out those 12 years), but I also don't need anything that's going to make me lethargic. Apathetic, fine- just please, no serious drowsiness.
I defer to you guys and gals and pals for what your thoughts are on what might be most effective, but also won't send me to the ER.
I was prescribed Vraylar as a mood stabilizer for MDD, which I have been diagnosed with for 20 years, along with ADHD and social anxiety. Until I Vraylar gave me an acute manic episode for over a year, which I hid from my doctor because it was so much better than being depressed. But then I came clean and we realized I actually had hypomanic episodes about 2ce a year, but didn’t realize it, I just thought I had some energy. Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else has had this reaction to Vraylar?
"merry holidays" (lol). So here's my current state of play. There are a lot of variables in play which is something I strive to avoid but then life (and things like not getting divorced or fired) get in the way:
I'm tapering off of Wellbutrin XL. It's 6 days since my last 75mg XL dose (before you cry "it doesn't come in 75mg doses!" I was taking 300mg WB XL / 4. Not ideal, but such is life). I'm tapering off of Mirapex. I've been on 0.125mg since the 14th (10 days). I started L-Methylfolate at 10mg (perhaps foolishly - that's a high dose) on the 16th (8 days ago) on the basis that I might have MTHFR mutations. I am shortly getting MTHFR tests done. I started Rexulti 0.5mg 19th (5 days ago). This was reduced to 0.25mg on the 22nd (2 days ago. See below as to why). In summary, a whole shitload of changes all happening in parallel which is exactly what I try to avoid but as I said, shit happens.
So here's the real deal. For the last month at least I've been experiencing incapacitating anxiety. The kind that has you in the foetal position in bed, waves of anxiety radiating out from your gut/stomach to each limb. Physical weakness, shaking, incoherence, the works.
Naughtily I'd previously ordered Valium online an less-naughtily I've got 0.5mg Ativan off of my PDoc. Neither touches the anxiety. This a.m. I tried 25mg Valium and 1mg Ativan and collectively they helped maybe 10%. I was still completely dysfunctional.
The only thing I've found so far that helps substantially is 2+ large whiskies. Within 20 mins of taking them, I feel human, capable, anxiety-free and "alive". Not high or anything - just "human".
Without context, that sounds terrible and the easy reply is "you are an alcoholic, go get treatment". But that's BS. Why? because:
15 years ago I went 18 months dry and it didn't help at all. I was more depressed overall from missing out on all the social engagements. (I was like 25). In Feb I went inpatient where they declared my alcohol intake "the problem", made me abstain for 3+ months and guess what? it didn't help my depression at all I don't wake up crazying alcohol I don't want to drink alcohol I've taken many, many other med regimens where this incredible anxiety is not present e.g. SSRI's , TCA's, MAOI's. It seems something particular to either (or both Wellbutrin and Mirapex). As of tonight I'm dropping the Mirapex, even though it's a tiny dose and my PDoc wanted me to remain upon it. Tough shit.
As of today I dropped my L-methylfolate intake from 10mg to 2.5mg since I've read that a long-term starvation of L-methylfolate (such as my postulated situation), followed by a "downpour" of l-methylfolate can make you feel even worse. So I'm toning that down.
Finally, my questions:
why is it that only the alcohol is relieving this incapacitating, incredible 10/10 strength anxiety? (and I have 20+ years of anxiety to know when anxiety is worth a 10/10 rating) am I exhibiting alcoholic tendencies? i.e. am I an alcoholic are my proposed actions (dropping L-methylfolate dose, stopping Mirapex, reducing Rexulti dose) along the right tracks? any other advice? Curled up in bed throughout Christmas, in bed, with 2 young kids is killing me. Concurrently so is the prospect of requiring alcoholic rehab.
Some subjective insight would be a golden Christmas present from you to me.
Thank you, Pete
By l'appel du vide
Hello everyone, I hope everyone's December has been off to a good start. I am back, on the med merry-go-round and also sober from opiates.... Again (16 days as of now).
So I was taking wellbutrin as an add on to my Prozac, and it really didn't help and might have made me worse, losing dramatic amounts of weight, a lot of intrusive thoughts, very depressed (though that's probably just it not doing much for it. And getting off drugs.) so I'm now on the Rexulti starter pack.
I'm here seeking others experiences with abilify and rexulti, since they are both dopamine partial agonists and 5-ht1a partial agonists, amongst other things. I'm very nervous about taking an antipsychotic for depression, though... And just want to know of other's experiences starting these medications. How were the side effects? If you had any, did they eventually go away? Did you gain weight?
I appreciate anyone who shares their experience. I've asked about these meds before, but I'm so nervous about it I just want reassurance. A lot is changing around me. Thank you all so much, and I hope the holidays have been treating you well.