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not ready to give up my anxiety


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this might sound like denial - but i kind of appreciate my anxiety.  for me, it's not the fear of the unknown but the anticipation of that which is very likely to happen.  it prepares me.  if i'm not prepared, i fall apart.  when i'm prepared, i can handle anything.  i feel like i need to be anxious otherwise my adhd takes over, and i make mistakes and don't *see* things, and problems smack me in the face and knock me down.  sure anxiety is like slowly taking off a bandaid, but without it i don't think i'd have ANY bandaid for protection.

maybe it is denial or maybe just a sign of how bad off i am?  but i kind of would be lost without my anxiety. :embarassed:

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this might sound like denial - but i kind of appreciate my anxiety.  for me, it's not the fear of the unknown but the anticipation of that which is very likely to happen.  it prepares me.  if i'm not prepared, i fall apart.  when i'm prepared, i can handle anything.  i feel like i need to be anxious otherwise my adhd takes over, and i make mistakes and don't *see* things, and problems smack me in the face and knock me down.  sure anxiety is like slowly taking off a bandaid, but without it i don't think i'd have ANY bandaid for protection.

maybe it is denial or maybe just a sign of how bad off i am?  but i kind of would be lost without my anxiety. :embarassed:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hi there

That is an interesting perspective. I don't have adhd, so I guess I am not prepared to reply in a meaningful way.  I have had BAD anxiety (panic disorder) in the past, connected to my depression, and for me, I would have to work hard  (plus medicate) to overcome the anxiety. In fact, I feel so blessed not to have had a panic attack in a while, although I always feel it can return (especially when my depression returns.) Alot of words to say that life without that level anxiety sure beats how I use to feel.

Your post is interesting.

Sylvia

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The first step to getting help is accepting that you have a problem and are motivated to be helped.  Denial and fear are common barriers that prevent us from getting help.

I am not saying you have any particular disorder, but it is common for very anxious people to try and "cope" with their anxiety, often using outlets like friends and family to talk about stuff.  God knows someone close to me does this.  She wont seek help but id say she has probably has GAD and would benefit from some therapy at least.  Like many people though, she doesnt want to walk down the dark corridors of her life, probably out of fear and frustration. She says she would rather just "cope", and instead unloads her concerns onto all of those around her.

I personally dont think there is any harm in getting a medical opinion on how bad your anxiety is, especially if it is restricting your quality of life - which it may or may not be.

In the end, its your call how you deal with it for now, and you need to be motivated to get help if you want it, otherwise any sessions with therapists or dr's will probably be unproductive.

Gaining control over your anxiety doesnt necessarily mean completely letting go of it - ie not caring. I know many people with anxiety issues have a fear of letting go, experiencing loss of control and this can prevent them seeking help.

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I think the fact that you can appreciate your anxiety is really admirable (sp?). Its like you are taking this bad thing and channeling its energy toward a positive.

It reminds me of having stagefright. ( did a lot of plays way back when). We used to say stagefright was a really useful tool- it keeps you on your toes and makes you really pay attention. ( not that it feels so great- even if you do appreciate its existence.

I also believe there is a continuum of anxiety- at some levels it could be really useful, though others may cause complete and total paralysis.

Anyway,i think its great that you are able to view the anxiety in the way you describe!

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chimpmaster- oh yeah, i certainly do have g.a.d. and i understand there's the "d" on the end of that because it's a disorder.  i don't communicate with anyone about my anxiety, i am certain that i have certain behaviors i exhibit when i am anxious but if anything else i'm a pretty withdrawn and isolating person.  i can understand how it's unhealthy for me to be so anxious and it has caused problems with my functioning - at the same time i can't imagine how i could function without going through that anxious process and then getting to an acceptance stage.  sometimes it does take me awhile to go through the process and sometimes it isn't necessary, but most of the time i appreciate it in the end because i was prepared for something that i otherwise might not have been able to handle.  anyway, i don't know how else to live or think.

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but most of the time i appreciate it in the end because i was prepared for something that i otherwise might not have been able to handle.  anyway, i don't know how else to live or think.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm Fine,

No disrepect intended, but I lived a lifetime being "on guard" because of serious abuse issues as a child. Even after the abuser died.

I, too can  and do isolate, in order to stay safe, but life doesn't work like that for me....somedays you eat the bear, and somedays the bear eats you. Its hard to truly prepare. Again, no disrespect to your post.

Sylvia

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Hi, I kind of understand what you're saying, but for me my anxiety was present even when there was nothing to be prepared for. I don't mind getting anxious if there's a reason. But when I feel anxious all the time, even when I'm at home, safe and comfortable, I resent it. It pisses me off. My life has been immeasurably improved by medication/treatment because I have the psychic energy to do so much more now. Instead of just coping, I can live my life.

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Hmmm.

I have different types of nervousness... or anxiety, if you like. Some I like, some I think I need, some I hate. Most of which are probably not disorders, so its okay. But I like to have my general tiny low amount of anxiety there that keeps me from doing anything stupid. It's not crippling anxiety, unlike those days I have where I feel like I am going to throw up, because I have to, heaven forbid, walk to the shops, and someone might talk to me that I don't know. I don't like that. Oh, or putting of making a phone call all day. What a waste.

When I have pre-exam anxiety, that's good, because my rationale, if I'm nervous about it, I'll do good on it. On the other hand, if I'm not, then I don't worry about failing on it! Except, I get the "I'm gonna fail" anxiety after.

Oh, and I hate that sad/nervous feeling! I think they call that angst. Like I feel something bad is going to happen, and there is nothing I can do about it. Like I'm hanging around waiting for my doom. But sometimes I feel like I deserve to be depressed and anxious.

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