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Anyone here have OSFED or EDNOS as a dx? 

I recently had a brief physical for a depression/ketamine trial I'm participating in. The doctor recommended I consider treatment at the local eating disorders treatment center. She seemed concerned about my eating habits. I suppose it makes sense. I just don't see how I meet criteria even for something as broad as OSFED.

I am morbidly obese. I eat a very restricted number of calories a day. I have for years and I only gain weight. In order to lose weight I, deceptively, need to eat more like double the number of calories that feels "right". I don't obsess about my weight or counting calories/tracking intake. I simply don't eat. I am not very good at "listening" to my body so I don't usually know when I'm hungry. If I only eat when I notice that I'm hungry, I end up with far too few calories a day. I don't binge or purge, just restrict.

The doctor with the trial suggested that perhaps food doesn't taste good. It's true, most food tastes pretty bland. I end up preferring sweet or salty foods and even then eating is not something that typically brings me joy. I struggle to care enough about food to want to spend time preparing it because even home-cooked food does not feel appealing enough to be worth the effort and expense of cooking for one. As a result, these days in my half-hearted attempts to eat something close to "enough" I eat a lot of prepared/frozen meals.

In my saner moments, I realise that I am probably not eating the most healthy diet, though it is not pure sugar/junk either. I certainly know lots of people who eat as badly or worse but are much thinner. The doctor at the trial suggested I might be nutritionally deficient which would contribute to the lethargy that I have always identified as a depression symptom. 

I struggle with the idea of eating more than I do because it's stuck in my head that to lose weight you have to eat "less" and while I don't obsess over my weight I would certainly like to be substantially thinner than I am. My parents were very restrictive in what I was allowed to eat as a (overweight) teenager, and made liberal comments when they felt I was eating too much. I was 13 when they enrolled me in Weight Watchers for the first time (and I lost weight, but could not keep it off when my parents had me stop WW due to $$). Even then I found that eating the number of "points" per day was a struggle, but it's only gotten worse. Thinking too much about food makes me feel like a bad person for not being somehow more in control of my weight, and like it's all my fault I'm a fat loser with no friends and on and on and on...

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Maybe just solidarity to start with. Has anyone had symptoms like this and been diagnosed with something like OSFED? Received successful treatment? What was it like? I have been fighting depression for so hard for so long but this GP with the trial was pretty insistent that the two could be intertwined. I don't know what to do. I don't have money for more treatment. I don't have money for time off for PHP/IOP, which is what the website for the ED treatment center suggests they mostly do, at least initially. I also feel utterly hopeless and helpless and like what is even the point of bothering.

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It makes total sense that you need to eat far more than it feels like. It sounds like your body is in starvation mode and is desperate to hold on to whatever it can (and is doing so successfully). I read the rest too. Eating disorders are one of those things where denial is almost as strong a symptom of it as anything else.

I'm not sure that I would still fall into the ednos category because I don't b/p anymore, but I used to.

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Back in 2010 I was diagnosed with EDNOS, I was at the low end of a healthy weight, was restricting and purging. My eating habits lately have been more restrictive. I am obese as well, and think food just doesn't taste good. Plus I feel like my weights been going up so I have been going crazy about food and obsessing over trying to get by on as little as possible. 

 

I'm definitely here if you ever need to chat!

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I've been dx'd EDNOS partially remitted.  I've restricted, binge/purge.  I'm trying to focus on eating healthy but it's hard.  It's one reason (aside from moral) that I am trying to eat plant-based, though I recognize doing so is probably also an ED-symptom.  But I'm focused on hitting macros and micros and aren't worrying about calories - and they get tracked with the macros and micros so I know I'm getting plenty!  

I do have - and I'll be damned if I can remember what it's called, it's a specific dx I believe - the kind of eating disorder that restricts what you eat to limited things from a psychological perspective.  I've been vegetarian since I was 16 because meat makes me puke - I cannot stand the taste and texture.  Eggs are the same.  I have trouble with mushrooms unless they're chopped up tiny.  There are a bunch of things that cause me to puke because of texture, and stuff that I think I'll react to, so I do.

Once I almost puked a nacho because it was 'unusually crunchy'.    

What is it called...off to google.  

Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder.  Self-diagnosed, and not something I want to do anything about, as I can be plenty healthy as a veg*n, but yes.  This is me: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/by-eating-disorder/arfid.  Toby DOES want me to practice eating mushrooms though.

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I've been diagnosed with OSFED for occasional purging without binging. 

@jarn My wife has avoidant restrictive food intake disorder. When she was a child, she would only eat foods of a certain color (red, in particular). 

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1 hour ago, aura said:

I've been diagnosed with OSFED for occasional purging without binging. 

@jarn My wife has avoidant restrictive food intake disorder. When she was a child, she would only eat foods of a certain color (red, in particular). 

Well not that that's good but it's nice to 'know' someone who has it.  I don't know what started my aversion to meat, eggs I was allergic to as a child so I suppose that's explainable?  Mushrooms, no idea.  

As a child, I used to refuse to finish my meat at dinner so my mom would make me eat it for breakfast the next morning.  When I didn't finish it then, that was it - I didn't have to try again at lunch (she admits now this was not the best approach).

I've puked up salads and lentil soups too if they looked funny or a texture took me by surprise.  In that sense, ARFID does bug me.  And if I gag once, I can't finish, because I will 100% keep gagging then puke, even if it's a food I like.  

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Posted (edited)
On 9/4/2017 at 8:02 PM, Geek said:

I don't know what I'm looking for here. 

Just a thought, but have you had your thyroid levels checked? (Sorry, just noticed this was an older thread)

Edited by CrazyRedhead

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11 hours ago, CrazyRedhead said:

Just a thought, but have you had your thyroid levels checked? (Sorry, just noticed this was an older thread)

Yup! They're solidly normal :(

I saw that doc later... after a full hour with her, answering really uncomfortable questions, she told me that I tick all the boxes and have all the thought processes of an anorexic, except for the weight part. She wanted to do some metabolic testing to see what's going on... but she was out of network and I had no money. So we still don't know what's going on. The nutritionist she wanted me to see was similarly expensive, and I wasn't ready to do the work so... *shrug* maybe one day.

I've also since been diagnosed with PCOS, which may also contribute to difficulty losing weight. My gdoc wants me to try a hormonal IUD for that.

On 12/31/2019 at 5:08 PM, jarn said:

I've been dx'd EDNOS partially remitted.  I've restricted, binge/purge.  I'm trying to focus on eating healthy but it's hard.  It's one reason (aside from moral) that I am trying to eat plant-based, though I recognize doing so is probably also an ED-symptom.  But I'm focused on hitting macros and micros and aren't worrying about calories - and they get tracked with the macros and micros so I know I'm getting plenty!  

I do have - and I'll be damned if I can remember what it's called, it's a specific dx I believe - the kind of eating disorder that restricts what you eat to limited things from a psychological perspective.  I've been vegetarian since I was 16 because meat makes me puke - I cannot stand the taste and texture.  Eggs are the same.  I have trouble with mushrooms unless they're chopped up tiny.  There are a bunch of things that cause me to puke because of texture, and stuff that I think I'll react to, so I do.

Once I almost puked a nacho because it was 'unusually crunchy'.    

What is it called...off to google.  

Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder.  Self-diagnosed, and not something I want to do anything about, as I can be plenty healthy as a veg*n, but yes.  This is me: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/by-eating-disorder/arfid.  Toby DOES want me to practice eating mushrooms though.

I have texture issues with some foods, so I get that in a way.

Also... when we met up I will admit I thought some of how you were talking about (or maybe thinking about) food sounded possibly ED? But I'm no expert. I know it's hard to find the balance. Although my balance must include steak ;) 

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22 hours ago, Geek said:

Yup! They're solidly normal :(

I saw that doc later... after a full hour with her, answering really uncomfortable questions, she told me that I tick all the boxes and have all the thought processes of an anorexic, except for the weight part. She wanted to do some metabolic testing to see what's going on... but she was out of network and I had no money. So we still don't know what's going on. The nutritionist she wanted me to see was similarly expensive, and I wasn't ready to do the work so... *shrug* maybe one day.

I've also since been diagnosed with PCOS, which may also contribute to difficulty losing weight. My gdoc wants me to try a hormonal IUD for that.

I have texture issues with some foods, so I get that in a way.

Also... when we met up I will admit I thought some of how you were talking about (or maybe thinking about) food sounded possibly ED? But I'm no expert. I know it's hard to find the balance. Although my balance must include steak ;) 

Oh it probably was ED-ish.  I'm trying really hard to reframe my relationship with food but it's a work in progress.  I was really offended when dx'd a year ago by the psychologist - I was like 'I stopped purging YEARS ago' but the more I examine how I eat and relate to food the more I can see I have an ED.  

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 I've bounced around the ED diagnosis for most of my life.  I was anorexic then bulimic.  The urge to purge remained, but I couldn't stop bingeing.  I grew out of that for a bit and restricted and yo-yo dieted for a long while.  It finally occurred to me when I was 32 or so that I realized what a problem body image and food intake still were for me.  I was fortunate to have been treated at the Center of Eating disorders at Sheppard Pratt in Baltimore.  Now my dx is Binge Eating Disorder.

If you aren't able pay the deductibles for the ED treatment, is there a scholarship to which you can apply for funding?

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