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Introduction, financial anxiety


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Hello.  I'm new to these boards, although I've known of this group and rea the boards for some time.

i've been in treatment for anxiety, depression, OCD, chronic fatigue, binge eating, agoraphobia, alcoholism, panic attacks, etc etc etc for a very long time.  I'm very fortunate that I've been able to find some peace.  This last is in large part because I don't work outside the home.  I couldn't handle the pressure and had to retire about nine years ago. I don't have any children.

However, I have not been able to find help with one aspect of my anxiety and seek your advice.

I have such severe anxiety about money matters that I have allowed my husband to completely take over our financial affairs.  I mean, even routine bill-paying reduces me to a panicky mess.  Long-term strategy is impossible.  Recently, my mother died and I've been virtually paralyzed, unable to handle estate matters.  Even when doing so would mean increasing my own bank accounts! (How crazy is that?)  My psychiatrist has only been able to suggest I just force myself.  (If only is were that easy.)  My mom's financial manager and my tax accountant were also unable to help.  Surely there's got to be help somewhere?  

Reading this message over I am worried that I'm giving a wrong impression.  I'm not rich and I'm not bragging.  My fears are really irrational but still real and very paralyzing.  I was like this when my husband and I were struggling college students up to our eyeballs in student loans and I'm like that now.

Please help me overcome my fears so I can be able to manage my affairs myself.  I'm terrified of what will happen to me if my husband dies before me.  There's no one to take care f me so I must get better so I can do it myself

Please, there's got to be something?

 

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I also struggle with terrible fear over finances.

My situation is different from yours, including the fact that in my case my husband leaves every aspect of our finances to me, but I experience absolute panic if I think things are slipping. We lost our house in the recession and I completely freak the eff out.

My therapist reminds me to focus on the problem at hand and not project all the possibilities. Focus on the exact issue and not what could happen. Often it works but occasionally I still lose it.

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Hello, Nadezhda, and welcome to the forums! I'm glad you decided to join us. I can't help but notice that your user name is a Russian name meaning hope.

I don't have any magical advice for you. I think you need to work on this in therapy. Your psychiatrist is probably doing the best he/she can with meds, but meds only do so much and advice like "force yourself" is of limited help. You need a therapist or a counselor or a psychologist to find a way to deal with this.

If I'm being honest, I must say that I suffer from this fear as well though probably not to the degree you are. It doesn't really interfere with my daily life, but it makes paying bills difficult.

Welcome again!

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