ThisIsNotLiving Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 I am dealing with a myriad of Dx's, so it's hard for me to know what's organic to what. Sometimes when I relive trauma, when something happens to rehash it, for instance, having to meet with law enforcement to re-tell the story of a brutal assault with strangulation and threats with guns and knives, I just slipped away into a place where I don't want to live. There have been times in the past, where flashbacks and retellings have caused me to "slip away" again and eventually I just become so depressed I do not feel life is worth living. I am not sure if it's bipolar acting up, or a combination of being PTSD and bipolar. I just want to know if anyone else experiences relapsing depressive episodes after triggers? It sucks because anything can be a trigger. A TV show, a conversation, a random train of thought that leads you too far back, a news story, etc. Everyday I am exposed to triggers and I learn to deal with some, to try and identify when I am being affected by the trauma, but as for coping...I guess I should do some more reading. Because I can't cope. I can't even focus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinterRosie Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 I've been suicidal since childhood, ever since my trauma; I'm in my 30s now. For me, it's just a part of who I am. It makes sense to me that being triggered can lead to suicidal thoughts, or suicidal feelings. When I look at lists of what being triggered feels like, both suicidal ideation and suicidal acts are on that list. I'm not sure that bipolar is that predictable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsNotLiving Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 Right? I can remember being suicidal as early as 9 but this seems to be closely related to trauma and triggers. I get into a very depersonalized state and depression takes hold and then I feel unsafe. I don't know what to do, other than therapy and pray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinterRosie Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 I'm not really sure what to do outside of those either. Sometimes I try journalling or making art to process how I'm feeling about it. It helps a bit at times. Sometimes distractions work, too. Usually I just end up working out because I feel stronger and less dissociated when I'm working out hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theforest Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 I also get triggered into suicidal depressions. A bad one can knock me down for several weeks. Self-hatred, ruminating, paranoia, anger, sleeplessness, etc.... you know the drill. I really wish the bad ones didn't take so long for me to recover from. It is hard on me but also hard on my husband, job, friendships, etc. I also try to direct myself out of the gloom through exercise, being outside, and doing arty/creative things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ananke Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 There are still some triggers of mine that will send me spiralling down. To be honest, doing the whole desensitisation thing helped with a lot of the other triggers. As in, being in therapy and gradually introducing these triggers in a way that I could see coming, then trying to bring me to a place of relative relaxation. I try to distract myself if it's really bad, but I also try to keep my normal routines in. If nothing else, it minimises any 'damage control' after the trigger eases up. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsNotLiving Posted September 18, 2017 Author Share Posted September 18, 2017 2 hours ago, theforest said: I also get triggered into suicidal depressions. A bad one can knock me down for several weeks. Self-hatred, ruminating, paranoia, anger, sleeplessness, etc.... you know the drill. I really wish the bad ones didn't take so long for me to recover from. It is hard on me but also hard on my husband, job, friendships, etc. I also try to direct myself out of the gloom through exercise, being outside, and doing arty/creative things. I am sorry you go through that. That sounds like what I go through and it's nice to know I am not alone. 1 hour ago, ananke said: There are still some triggers of mine that will send me spiralling down. To be honest, doing the whole desensitisation thing helped with a lot of the other triggers. As in, being in therapy and gradually introducing these triggers in a way that I could see coming, then trying to bring me to a place of relative relaxation. I try to distract myself if it's really bad, but I also try to keep my normal routines in. If nothing else, it minimises any 'damage control' after the trigger eases up. I am really hoping that more therapy will get into this. So far we've just been talking through the recent stressors and she's been grounding me and throwing in some CBT. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hopelessly Broken Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 (edited) I don't even have triggers per se. I have been like that since I was a child, its part of my every day life. Never leaves regardless of how I try to treat it. As far as I know, that is fairly common for the type of trauma I have. Everything that came with it is pervasive. I manage it by accepting that its there and restricting myself from engaging with it in life-threatening ways. Edited September 18, 2017 by Hopelessly Broken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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