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Things to do, but zero motivation


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I have had depression for years. I don't usually feel like I cant do anything. I can usually still push myself to do what I need to do. I just hit the proverbial wall. I have school work piling up, and I just don't care. I looked at it and just pushed it away. I know I cannot do this. I NEED to do well. I NEED to do this work and pass classes. I just cannot make myself think about this work. It is the worst. I am not sure there is a way to fix this at the moment. I just want to sit in the shower and let the hot water pour over me. And WHY? I don't really have a good reason to feel this way. I just do. I'm sure many of you can relate. I just needed to know I am not just lazy. I feel like I am. I just can't make myself do stuff. 

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Are you taking any meds? Or getting therapy?

The only thing that touched my apathy and lack of motivation is Abiify. Abilify keeps me motivated although sometimes I still struggle. But I'm much better off with Abilify. If I go off Abilify for any reason, I become a slug that doesn't want to do anything.

I will say that citalopram and escitalopram increased my apathy and lack of motivation.

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I am on Cymbalta, though a lower dose than what I probably SHOULD be taking.  I told my doctor it makes my memory HORRIBLE AND I am a zombie. I cannot take the higher doses for that reason, but I am still very much dealing with a lot of depression. Maybe I should ask about an add-on. I'm overwhelmed at school and I am just shutting down.

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23 hours ago, Montague said:

I'm sure many of you can relate. I just needed to know I am not just lazy. I feel like I am. I just can't make myself do stuff. 

yep, sure can relate.  When I have moments of health, everything becomes so easy.  I'm not joking.  Really odious stuff becomes a breeze.  So in other words no, you're not lazy, you've just got depression that makes stuff seem impossibly difficult.

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1 hour ago, sming said:

yep, sure can relate.  When I have moments of health, everything becomes so easy.  I'm not joking.  Really odious stuff becomes a breeze.  So in other words no, you're not lazy, you've just got depression that makes stuff seem impossibly difficult.

When I was between episodes I would describe it the same way. Everything was easier.

Montague, I don't think it's laziness if you want to do something but for some reason can't. I think (at least where I am in North America) people overuse the word 'lazy'. Trying hard is important, but you are already doing that, and there are so many other factors in life.

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