Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

I really thought the people closer to me were beginning to understand what it's like to live with major depression, what works and what doesn't. But after a major depressive episode I feel like I'm at square one again, all alone, nobody understands. A friend mentioned relaxation techniques to get rid of anxiety. I felt like telling him to drink six cups of coffee and then try the relaxation technique and see how well it works. Others say to act happy and you'll begin to feel happy. That one really gets me. I don't have the energy to even begin to act happy. And of course almost everybody suggests one herb or another.

Do you try to explain it or just let it go? Many times I just say, "I wish it was that easy."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i'm starting to use the analogy:

it's like telling someone who uses a wheelchair, to climb eight flights of stairs. ~pj

and then letting it go, because they will NEVER understand.

sorry if that's kind of cold and not what you wanted to hear.

they might never know what kind of pain this is. but if they do, sometimes in the future they will know how fucking wrong they were.

hang in there.

pj

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm right with you there, lemonflavor, right there......

I've had someone say to me the other day, if I do breathing exercises I won't need pills.

and then today, when I'm totally in depression zone, "Why are you upset?"

bah..... at least we all understand.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't forget oleander, aconite, and arrowgrass.

I hear they do wonders as well.

I'm all in favor of poisoning the ignorant. That's a joke...I think.

Frankly what I get the most of is the stuff about prayer fixing it.

That and 'If you didn't shut yourself up with books or a computer all the time...'

Yeah, we cain't be havin with all dat book learnin.

Bleah.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Others say to act happy and you'll begin to feel happy. That one really gets me."

Actually, that is kind of the corner stone to CBT...Fake it till you make it!

That aside, I can't understand major depression because I have never had it.

But I like lmnop's advise on how to deal with religious meddlers...LOLOL

Got to tell hubby about that

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And roll in the armchair psychologists.

My method of ridding them? Start with a neuroscience explanation. The lecture will just bore them to death. Anyway, I mostly talk about the physical stuff, like being tired. Cheering up won't make me less tired.

I Mostly only tell  people who understand what depression is, because they know other depressed people, or they're just understanding people. So, not everyone has to know, minimising stupid coments. But then again, couldn't blame them, since they're giving advice that probably works for them. My parents are the wost offenders, I think. They tell me to do excerise, and I say I'm too depressed to excerise, in which they say that I wouldn't be if I excerised. Bleh to them ;)

Oh, or the "You're way of thinking is wrong. Change it". Well, captain durr! I guess that's the whole basis of CBT, but yeah, I can change my thinking by clicking my fingers. Smart one.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"They tell me to do excerise, and I say I'm too depressed to excerise, in which they say that I wouldn't be if I excerised. Bleh to them "

LOL...I think you would have strangled my husband's tdoc. Exercise was a MUST in her treatment plan. Ever try to drag a suicidally depressed 240lb man out of bed to go for a walk? (For him, it did help though)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm a born again Christian so God and spiritual health are very important. However, Christians can be some of the worst when it comes to "encouragement".

Exercise is also important for me, even though I can't do as much as I used to. I think it's important to try to do something, anything. But when I was going through Zyprexa withdrawal I became much more understanding of those who feel they just can't get it going.

My mom lent me a set of tapes for "overcoming" depression and anxiety. No mention of bipolar. Apparently we can think our way out of it. Wow. And we'll be especially better if we go to their clinic.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ooh I like this thread!  And I second everything everyone has said!  Like my first visit to the therapist at 18 when upon returning my dad said "well, everything okay now?"  Oh ya, all better!  That would have been nice!  And I like taking walks too but sometimes I just don't want to come back - just keep trying to walk away from all the pain and turmoil and shit. 

When my dear husband says "what's wrong" sensing I'm in the throws of something now and I say I'm just really stressed and he sayd "what'd I do now".  Gads, just shut the fuck up!!!! 

Nope, no one on "the other side" will ever get it. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh, or the "You're way of thinking is wrong. Change it".

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh thats the absolute worst.  Along with "Stop focusing on your feelings" like I could possibly just ignore this shit and it will go away. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

actually cbt is more than 'fake it till you make it'. they give you lists and lists of techniques to use to actually combat your negative thoughts...its a lot more than just saying 'quit thinking that' or 'think happy thoughts'.  it really is; i've gone through cbt, have 2 thick books & dozens of handouts.  it teaches you HOW to do this stuff, not just telling you to be happy.

problem is, most pop psychology is a very watered down version of cbt that doesn't get it right.  and what most people know is that pop psych shit....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've also been the victim of much unwanted, idiotic advice and analysis. The first GP that treated me thought I was depressed because I missed my mommy and daddy. No! I'd been living abroad off and on for ten years, had experienced homesickness (which can feel like mild depression, but expats who are also mentally interesting definitely know the difference).

I've tried to go easy on the normal folk out there - unless they are trying to push some stupid "buck up" strategy down my throat. I read William Styron's "Visible Darkness" and other books about depression, and came to the conclusion that unless someone has experienced it, they really cannot understand what it feels like. Geez, I barely understood what I was feeling when I was depressed. To the normal, who do experience milder mood swings after all, it must seem logical that depression is equitable with their "blue moods," which they know they can pull themselves out of.  The real nature of depression is really only understood by those who have experienced it, in my opinion.

That's not to say that we shouldn't try to correct their erroneous views. I recently caught wind of Tom Cruise's manic tirade against psychiatry of last year ( I only recently moved back to the English speaking world so I'm a bit behind ). I found his idiotic views offensive and dangerous. It took me a long time to convince myself that vitamins and exercise and "bucking up" were not appropriate treatment for the illness that I had (or at least not nearly nearly enough).

When idiots get on their soapbox and say things like that, an appropriate response would be, "NO, YOUR thinking is wrong. Change it."

J.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

exercise has played a positive role for me.

seroquel was packing the pounds onto me and i was getting really, really disgusted with my body. this naturally fed my depression hugely. although i had a gym membership there was no way in hell i could get myself to the gym - mentalwise, not logisitcally.

there is a mountain near my house with a very popular trail, fairly short but very steep, so i decided to go hike it. it was brutal and EVERYONE passed me. i somehow managed to keep going on the hike every few days and slowly the pounds started melting away until i'd lost 25 lbs. this made me feel much better about my physical self. but i still had depressions, became near suicidal as the depression really hammered me down. so that hadn't changed, exercise hadn't banished any demons, but when i was up a bit from the bottom of a depression i could feel a bit better about the new self i saw in the mirror.

also, in my emotional skills group we were talking one day about 'grounding exercises' and went on to do half a dozen in class. none of them worked. not at all. i said that they'd been useless for me and that i didn't see how i could become 'grounded' and then one of the facilitators smiled and said 'you ground yourself everytime you go on your hike'. that one surprised me a lot but now i understand her completely.

when i am on my hike i am both lost in my thoughts and completely present and grounded. it's hard to explain i guess. everything around me becomes completely real when i am on my hike. at no point do i stop on the hike and find myself surprised to see where i am because i am always contentedly aware of myself and my surroundings. and my surroundings give me a sense of peace.

that's how exercise has helped me.

grouse.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

" Like my first visit to the therapist at 18 when upon returning my dad said "well, everything okay now?"

Like taking your car in for a new oil filter? Put you up on jacks, drain the brain, put in new fluid...all fixed! LOLOL

***

".its a lot more than just saying 'quit thinking that' or 'think happy thoughts'.  it really is; i've gone through cbt, have 2 thick books & dozens of handouts.  it teaches you HOW to do this stuff, not just telling you to be happy."

you are totally correct....but unless you (or someone you know) is really versed in it, they are going to only "get" the fake it till you make it part. But even understanding that concept can be hard. Most people react to their emotions and dont really think much about where they come from and why. (A lot of people on auto pilot out there!) When you have to adjust your thinking to the view that your actions can create emotions instead of the other way around...well...I have had good friends (who are actually mostly intellegent) totally short circuit trying to understand this concept!

***

"The real nature of depression is really only understood by those who have experienced it, in my opinion. "

Have to agree there. I can try to empathize, but I haven't been there and done that.

***

"that's how exercise has helped me"

Cool grouse!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...