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suicidal self-harm bipolar depression DEAF EARS


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So Ive really been feeling bad so i tell my therapist like 4 or 5 times Im feeling suicidal, the last time I ask if "I appeared too happy because I do tend to put on a happy face, even when depressed", she says that don't really happen then she says "Well I've been told I can recognize someone suicidal very well".  I thought on the way home, dont really happen oh yeah like Robin Williams.  Anyway, as she is only 29, I wondered and remembered everytime I bring up Bipolar, Depression, PTSD, Halucinations and voices and especially self-harm she changes subject. And later that night I cut.  Now I am wondering although she is a clinical social worker, is she really qualified for mental illnesses beyond basic couseling or not confident in those areas.  For the most part I do really like her but, hey, as you can see below I got quite a mess of mental problems, I do need someone competent in those areas.

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I've found no real correlation between therapists age/experience/training and how well they respond to suicidal feelings. Some therapists just do not seem to get that someone can be suicidal, even very seriously suicidal, while still going about their exterior life relatively unimpaired. I've definitely had my share of therapists who either minimize the severity of my experience (probably worsened by the fact that until recently I struggled to directly address the issue, but I still gave plenty of signs that I was suicidal even if I didn't say those specific words). Likewise, I've had therapists who really don't seem to know how to respond to suicidal thoughts beyond asking me if I am safe. It's like they know they need to make sure someone is safe, but once you tell them you are, they don't really understand that you can be safe but still have suicidal thoughts that need addressing to ensure that you stay safe rather than slip further. It seems like it may be time to look for another therapist for you, especially since she gave you kind of a flip response about her ability regarding the matter. While therapy will never solve serious mental illness, it is important to have a therapist who understands what these illnesses entail and how to help someone out when they are symptomatic. 

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