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Don't agree with my Therapist!


madmax15
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I finally saw my Therapist today! who said I SHOULD tell people that my fear of heights might be a problem when we are going somewhere?! I basically think it's an embarrassing phobia that has been a problem in the past when I'm with a group of people. He said people would respect me if I told them. I said it's like I'm putting myself down and people would actually lose respect?!

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I agree with your therapist. It is far better to be truthful up front than to go with the group and end up freaking out or otherwise pulling down the group because you can't do what they want to do. I share this phobia, and I am not afraid to confess it to anyone. It is a very common phobia and no one would look down on you for having it.

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Fear of heights is very common. I know multiple people who do not have any sort of mental illness who are afraid of heights. It is useful to know for a group trip when people have this sort of fear, just as it is useful to know peoples general interests, likes, and dislikes. That way if, for example, you're in Seattle and your friends want to go up in the space needle, you can do something else in the area while they do this, and then meet up afterward. You may even find another person in your group of friends who isn't keen on heights.

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I always shared my fear of heights, like when friends wanted that we go to the upper floors at the mall.. but when I told them they didn't make me go there or sometimes I just ask them if I can hold their hand when we go up there.. if sometimes they thought it's funny I told them that I know it's not rational, it's a phobia! luckily I don't suffer form fear of height like I used to..

 

 

Edited by grab your bag
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On 9/30/2017 at 0:56 PM, jt07 said:

I agree with your therapist. It is far better to be truthful up front than to go with the group and end up freaking out or otherwise pulling down the group because you can't do what they want to do. 

That's the thing though some places you would only know when you got there that there would be a problem with heights?! We would have to go back because of me!

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You know, if your friends knew beforehand about your fear of heights then they could plan accordingly or you could choose to stay home. The point is that if no one knows about your phobia, they will likely take you places you find intolerable at least occasionally. If everyone knows your phobia then they will not take you to such places.

Also, it's not putting yourself down to admit to having a fear of heights. As has been said, it is a very common phobia. It's not bad or shameful to have a fear of heights. There really isn't even a stigma attached to it because it is so common.

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45 minutes ago, jt07 said:

You know, if your friends knew beforehand about your fear of heights then they could plan accordingly

Ah I was in a situation where I went out somewhere with them and everything was fine until there was a bridge we had to cross and I couldn't do it. So we HAD to go back and they got real shitty with me!

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4 hours ago, madmax15 said:

Ah I was in a situation where I went out somewhere with them and everything was fine until there was a bridge we had to cross and I couldn't do it. So we HAD to go back and they got real shitty with me!

So what? Now they know and in the future they won't take you to such places. Had they known earlier they never would have tried to cross that bridge.

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