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NeedsAdvice

Obsessed With Boyfriend

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So. This is my first relationship, ever. I've never had even a week long, month long, minute long boyfriend. Then I might my current SO and, we have been together for 2 years. And honestly, he has made me a better person. I however, me to myself, somehow turned into an obsessive needy shit.

When the relationship started, I was fine. He was fine. Time apart was fine. Arguments didn't last long. It was quite chill and perfect. But then, I started getting upset at him leaving. An argument with me will take up the entire day because I chase after him, I explain myself and when I see he's annoyed with me I beg him for forgiveness because him being upset with me is the worst thing in the world. I overreact to everything. I overthink everything. I think of him 100% of the time. I want him to be with me 100% of the time. And when he tells me he doesn't want to talk, or wants to go do something. I wonder how I can change myself, for him. To be more interesting. To him. Every choice and decision I male regarding myself has to do with him. 

I'm trying. I'm seriously trying to change this but where do I start. How do I go back to being easy going and not constantly worrying about him. How much he wants to talk to me and how much he loves me and how interesting or physically attractive I am to him. 

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Have you ever heard of DBT? It's used (often for borderline which I'm not saying you are) to help with distress tolerance and some of those warped thoughts 

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I actually feel a lot of the things listed under bordeline but I dont want to take my self diagnosis seriously. I was told I had bipolar personality disorder by a child therapist but I strongly think she's incorrect about it, not only that but it's been a long time and I was a highly depressed child. Anyways, I'm gonna look into meeting a therapist when i can afford it. For now I need help from what I can get, ex. This website.

Edited by NeedsAdvice
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