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StephanieFox

I May Be A Lesbian Apparently But I'm Not Sure

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I drank a can and a half of Four Loko last night and I never really drink.  Anyways, my friend is bi.  And for some reason I wound up going down on her (we were both drunk).  I enjoyed it at the time I suppose but am concerned she may think I actually want a relationship with her...... yet I don't.  I haven't seen her after this.  And it may be awkward. Though, part of me is feeling conflicted as I never thought about doing that before.  Does this mean I'm a lesbian now?  Or not? Because I never thought about doing that before.  

 

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Have you talked to your friend about this? She might just assume its a one off thing, there might be no expectation of a relationship. Equally, that whole situation might have been a one off thing. Doesn't mean you are a lesbian. TBH research might be helpful- even if you conclude you aren't a lesbian/bi at least you looked into it. Sometimes people just hook up with each other I guess? (Not a big drinker here)

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It doesn't necessarily mean you're a lesbian. If you do find yourself considering doing it again, either with this person or in general with other women, then you might be bisexual or a lesbian. But one sex act doesn't define your orientation. Some people also prefer not to seek out a specific label and just do whatever they enjoy doing with whomever they enjoy doing it without fixating on a specific identity. Other people do like having a term to describe their orientation, but even if you do want to label it, that doesn't mean the label you choose now has to be the one you use for the rest of your life. 

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There are plenty of people who "are gay when they're drunk/drink", or something to that affect. I sort of think it's bullshit, but....meh. I'm pansexual. It would confuse me if I met a girl in a bar and it was getting a little hot and heavy or something along those lines and come to find out when she sobers up she's not usually like that the next morning. As someone who's in the game, fully, and not just at certain times it does get frustrating. Nothing against you, not saying that, I am explaining though.

Plenty of people have slept with the same gender/had sexual experiences/kissed, etc, just to explore and get a feel for something and found out it wasn't their something. It wasn't what they wanted, it didn't feel right...etc. etc. If you're wanting to explore more, then do so. Test the waters, especially before you go slapping a label on your sexual orientation. If you came to the conclusion you enjoyed sleeping with women or having romantic relationships with women, and only women, you might be a lesbian. Otherwise, you may be bisexual if you still like relationships with men. It sounds like you have some figuring out to do, because you're trying to see who you truly are. Don't hesitate to do so, either. Just know that, doing it while you've been drinking isn't the best way to found out.... 

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Going down on someone of the same gender/sex does not make you gay. 

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