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I have today off and...what else is new?  I'm bored out of my skull, lonely, can't think of what to do with myself and have no money to do the sorts of things that I *would* enjoy (shopping, getting a massage, etc.)

I really am experiencing a quarterlife crisis.  I have no real career to speak of, no money and I really want to get out of the city where I'm living.  I'm due to become unemployed at the beginning of the summer.  I have gotten into some graduate programs for the fall, but I'm *terrified* of owing $60,000 more than the $25,000 I already owe.  I'm single.  I'm antsy.  Winter just never seems to end.  AGGHHH. 

Wish my therapist wasn't on vacation ;)   Talking to him is the only time I feel confident that I will sort all of these things out.  He really seems to believe that I will and believes I have a lot to offer.  He must be crazy! (j/k)

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I just said the same thing to my sister yesterday- that I'm having a quarter life crisis too. Of course there's the part that I have no friends, never go out, am usually bored as hell and never have enough energy to do anything, that I absolutely hate myself and I just want to die. But that stuff has always been there.

Now I don't think I will graduate, I feel that I just need to drop out- which I admit is ridiculous to drop out when there's only 2 1/2 months of college left. I just feel like I can't do anything- can't study, can't write papers, can't do homework.. and its not like I do anything else throughout the day- I just sit in my room and stare at the ceiling all day.

There's the idea that I can't even drop any of my classes or I'll be part time, and I wont have enough credits to graduate if I ever get there. Then there's the pressure that I start school again 1 month after pending graduation. How if I do drop out all my plans are fucked and my parents will kick my ass.

Then there is my emotions which have gone crazy this year- I'm crying 2 times a day, feel like I'm gonna explode with all this pressure, wanna kill myself, wanna just sit around and do nothing- feeling ok one minute then feeling like complete shit the next.. it just does not stop- I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me and why it's getting so bad.

anyway- I feel you with that quarter life crisis and any minute now I'm just gonna completely breakdown and do something really stupid...

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It could be worse: Imagine being bored out of your skull, lonely, unable to think of what to do with yourself, have no money to do the sorts of things you would enjoy, and be ten years older.  I read your post and couldn't help thinking, Damn, to be experiencing all those things and ten years younger.  That would be awesome  You'll get it worked out while you're still young.

The graduate program is an investment--you could look at it that way.  It will pay for itself eventually.  Sounds like something to look forward to.  What will you be studying?

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Now I don't think I will graduate, I feel that I just need to drop out- which I admit is ridiculous to drop out when there's only 2 1/2 months of college left. I just feel like I can't do anything- can't study, can't write papers, can't do homework.. and its not like I do anything else throughout the day- I just sit in my room and stare at the ceiling all day.

Allow me to point out that you don't necessarily need spectacular grades -- you just need to pass the classes. Unless you're aiming for med school or some prestigious graduate program right away, all you need to do is pass. Maybe if you think of it that way, you can get through with tossing things together as best you can.

anyway- I feel you with that quarter life crisis and any minute now I'm just gonna completely breakdown and do something really stupid...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

embarassed :embarassed:

You mean like 'run away from home' to a 3rd world country for over a year between classes and thesis writing of an MA program? Though I wasn't old enough for a 'quarter-life crisis' more like a 'beginning-life crisis.'

And even so, it did not derail my professional career -- depression has done much more damage.

Fiona

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The graduate program is an investment--you could look at it that way.  It will pay for itself eventually.  Sounds like something to look forward to.  What will you be studying?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I just added up how much money I owe, and I'm telling myself firmly that it's an investment, that the paychecks will cover it, and that the career of doing what I love best is more than worth it.

And saying a grateful prayer that my partner is in a more lucrative field.

Fiona

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I say if it's something you love, and this is your opportunity to do it- FUCK money.  It doesn't matter.  It'll come from somewhere.

But this is coming from someone who has her heart set on an MFA. 

delicate- I second what Fiona said.  You just have to pass.  Talk to professors.... I'm sure that you can pass your classes this term. 

You sound like you're really depressed, as well.  Do you have a doctor?  Are you on meds?  They could really help (especially the doctor).

I'm pushing through the last couple months to graduation, as well (I graduate in early June)...and I have to admit that I have senioritis like nobody's business.  I don't want to read anything.  I don't want to write papers.  I want to hang out on the internet and freak out about finding a job and could give two shits about Paradise Lost. 

But I'm chugging along the best I can. . .

I think that's all we can do, really.  Any of us.

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Bloody hell, I am now over 30 (31 to be precise) and know what you mean.  It wasnt the turning 25 that got me it was 30 then everytime I have to say my age it hits me again and again.

I have a mortgage, 2 dependants (cats) and just struggling to work everyday.

Hang in there.

I have like no money but hang out till I get paid everytime.  It never stops, but yeah just keep at it.  Trust me it will get better.

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More or less mid life crisis here.

When I have no money, I can generally entertain myself by reading, dumpster diving, making stuff, etc. Mostly just reading when I'm really depressed, tho since meds I haven't done so much reading. Today I couldn't deal with the upcoming bills, the threat of April 15 looming, continued unemployment, the possible failure of a side project making and selling stuff, etc., so I spent the day trying to soup up my homemade van de Graaff generator. Can't say there are no bright sparks in my life. However, I am feeling discouraged. Really have very little connection with my brother and father, not a huge crowd of friends, though there are various hobby club members who like and respect me. I guess I just tend to have one important person, and this weekend she's off in Quebec. (As she should be. )

Another thing I do when I'm bored, under the influence of my new girlfriend, is cook stuff. It's cheaper than grabbing a slice at the pizzaria, and those smells do something good for morale. Curry, granola (much cheaper than cereal), pancakes (watch out for the sugar crash), bread, etc.

It's vital to get out of house/apartment, at least once a day. Maybe only to walk a few blocks, but it really helps. Especially if early on a bright day. Will admit I only walked a few hundred yards to the appliance store dumpster and back. Some real goodies sometimes there.

(I hope all this energetic stuff doesn't seem too oppressive. It's the Welbutrin, I'd guess.)

delicate: I hope you're getting some appropriate therapy, meds, or whatever. If not, make this a priority NOW. If you really think you may not be able to cut it, at a lot of schools it's probably worth it to speak with someone at the school. They may be able to cut you a little slack or help you out in some other way. At this point you're a valuable commodity for them. A little trouble now and they probably think they'll get dividends for life from fund raising letters and such, which are probably a lot more effective with graduates than with  dropouts.

If your parents are at all reasonable, they are going to be very pleased when you get your undergrad degree, and ought to understand if you want to put off any graduate school. Maybe you need some working life for a while. It can be a lot more relaxed than studying, and it's nice to be able to spend money. If your parents won't accept putting off grad school, they probably aren't worth listening to. Abouit this, anyway.

I can tell you from personal experience that graduating is a great relief, and something to look forward to. Even if despite the reactions of parents. (Sheesh, you'd think graduating from a big engineering school would produce smiles all around, even if the degree was odd....)

Promise yourself that you are really going to do summer right this summer. Beach, bike rides, hikes, ice cream, fireworks, or whatever it is that you associate with summer. Or maybe take a trip someplace. Something to look forward to.

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