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madmax15

Called out for *Sitting Alone*

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2 hours ago, crtclms said:

So basically, you rejected people who are reaching out to you because of a rule you made up about people approaching you. And are you watching those the seats 24/7? You couldn't possibly know if you are the only one. You need to stop assuming everyone is out to get you.  

It's like they're criticizing me! 

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Look, I am pretty much a loner, and I mostly sit alone unless there is someone present whom I know really well. People will come up to me and try to talk to me. Some people will even make comments as to why I am sitting alone. But I don't take that as "calling me out". I consider it to be them trying to include me. In any case, it doesn't bother me what they say.

Once I was actually called out on it though. I was in a class and I sat in the back by myself, and I am generally quiet. The "professor" said that because I was alone and quiet that I scare her (implying that I might be dangerous). How did it affect me? Well, I was pissed off about it for about a day and then I simply forgot about it. What good would it do me to dwell on this incident? No good at all. Why would I even care what this one "professor" thought? I had minimum interactions with her. 

You see, I have either Schizoid Personality DIsorder or Asperger's which means that I am a loner and I'm odd. The difference between you and me is, however, that I don't dwell on such matters and I certainly don't assume that people making comments are doing so to be mean to me. You tend to always assume that people are singling you out to be mean to you when a lot of times they are just trying to help or include you.

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37 minutes ago, jt07 said:

Some people will even make comments as to why I am sitting alone.

But that's the thing THEY only see you that time when you're sitting by yourself. They're not with you 90% of the rest the time. So HTF would they know you're a loner?! 

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I guess I'm not seeing the issue here. Why would I care if they thought or knew I was a loner? I just don't care what they think.

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18 minutes ago, jt07 said:

I guess I'm not seeing the issue here. Why would I care if they thought or knew I was a loner? I just don't care what they think.

It's like they're putting you down and for all they know maybe when you aren't sitting by yourself you could be nightclubbing with some friends. So technically you're not a loner and their judgement is wrong!

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I don't think it's a matter of judgement. I think it's a matter of people who are about to ask you to sit with them, and then your scaring them off.

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madmax, you seem to be of the opinion that being called a loner is a put-down. It is not really. It's just how it is. And, by the way, not of the examples you have listed amount to calling you a loner.

But, really, do you feel so inadequate that being thought of as a loner makes you that upset? Being a loner does not make you a bad person. As for me, this is a non-issue.

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2 hours ago, crtclms said:

I don't think it's a matter of judgement. I think it's a matter of people who are about to ask you to sit with them, and then your scaring them off.

Um, I don't think I mentioned anything about people wanting to sit next to me?! I don't have a problem with that!

What I DO have a problem with is people who don't know me personally implying I'm a loner just because i'm sitting by myself while there are people doing the same thing who don't get called out on it!!

 

 

 

 

Edited by madmax15
..

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You never think anyone could be nice to you because of your paranoia. 

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3 minutes ago, crtclms said:

You never think anyone could be nice to you because of your paranoia. 

I don't think implying I'm a loner is a nice thing?!

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14 minutes ago, madmax15 said:

I don't think implying I'm a loner is a nice thing?!

So you think being a loner is bad? Thanks a lot.

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1 minute ago, jt07 said:

So you think being a loner is bad? Thanks a lot.

Ah no that's the impression I get from other people. "Oh its just Nigel trying to make friends" 

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4 minutes ago, madmax15 said:

Ah no that's the impression I get from other people. "Oh its just Nigel trying to make friends" 

Aha! So they can't think you are a loner if they think you are trying to make friends. Loners generally don't often try to make friends.

I think you are taking offense by trying to infer what other people are thinking even though they may not be thinking that at all. Don't try to read minds. And for goodness sakes, get some social skills therapy.

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On 05/11/2017 at 0:54 PM, jt07 said:

Aha! So they can't think you are a loner if they think you are trying to make friends. Loners generally don't often try to make friends.

I actually got the message from other people I LITERALLY look like a loner. BUT howTF does someone "look" like a loner?! It's just rude!

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