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Feeling guiltyabout taking xanax for sleep


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Double edged sword - feel like a failure cause I've needed it for sleep more this last year than ever.  And on the other hand thank you God for something that kicks my ass to sleep. What's changed?  I've been playing the switch AD wheel for a little while (my fault) and now am slowly going back on my old AD. 

My xanax bottle used to sit and collect dust and I'd have an occasional few nights I needed it for sleeping issues.  Like I said, I've filled my script 3 times this year, along with having a bottle of Klonopin (to try instead).  I know this sounds trivial but I'm feeling that dark dark stab of depression and like I just want to die stuff. 

Uh I'm a mess.  Kris

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It's my experience that guilt only adds to feelings of anxiety, and worthlessness and panic ALL the more.

I have a bad habit of chastizing myself for my medication and recreational drug use. 

But sometimes, you have to do what gets you by.  Sometimes you have to take care of yourself, and if taking a xanax here and there gets you by...so be it. 

I think the trick is balancing helping yourself with dependence. 

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Guest FrannyNZooey

Double edged sword - feel like a failure cause I've needed it for sleep more this last year than ever.  And on the other hand thank you God for something that kicks my ass to sleep. What's changed?  I've been playing the switch AD wheel for a little while (my fault) and now am slowly going back on my old AD. 

My xanax bottle used to sit and collect dust and I'd have an occasional few nights I needed it for sleeping issues.  Like I said, I've filled my script 3 times this year, along with having a bottle of Klonopin (to try instead).  I know this sounds trivial but I'm feeling that dark dark stab of depression and like I just want to die stuff. 

Uh I'm a mess.  Kris

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh Dear Lord Kris, I am so thankful I came upon your post.

I have not slept properly at nights for week now? Sleep from 7 am to 1Pm during day, close myself, wrap up in blanket, told by lawyer to not talk to anyone, he can only do so much for me innocent or not, if I have deathwish, he can not help me.

Deathwish, where did it come from, my lack  of love, hate,seeing where told me to burn in hell publicly told on daughters news stations?

Never even asking me facts which I can not tell, but spewing out this grand story, fine makings of reporter there, natural talent for "our media"

Sobbing for the defenseless, ok not to tell, that are so hurting by "my actions" my once again sheltered me actions, Kris, frist call they made not questions to how anyone was doing, was to lawyer up, ask how much car insurance I had for such injuries, which I have max 300, 000 grand, which young very young , very shortly married gal said is that all, can I sue for more, how much is their estate, networth, home, business, etc..

Yes the sue mentality get rich quick The Untied states way.

Well sorry won't happen from here, I am innocent, and if goes south, they can't collect from dead person now can they?

Car was in my name only, I will not have them take all my husband worked so hard from, I love him way too much, true love, unselfish, no price put on love.

he will not lose what he dreamt of put blood sweat tears in.

No one will take that from my love.

Watch Xanax it half short shelflife and crashes lets down like ton of bricks, Klonopin much smoother.

But for my plan, Xanax just what doc ordered.

Kris do not ever say trivial, this is a very cold cruel, monetary world.

I am not checking out quietly either, if this need be, it is going to be heard, my last word, picture, and yes may it stick in thier minds forever.

Dear God, to call lawyer before even going to see husband in hospital, this world is sick.

My husband rushed and stay with me every second, I own his same loyalty back,

He is a rare devoted trusting soul.(please take some time for this to make more sense on my thread< i was dealing, but daughter my baby knocked the shit out of me, I never hurt her, never besides being a goofball but to want this, she already killed me)

He is so trusting in justice, I have not been so convinced by history of such.

Please don't want to die, your life will be ok, Ihave so many physsicaal now so much deeper psch, emotional, and truly, I made commitment to loveand obey hubby, not totally fuck up and take the rest of his life away.

He is my biggest love, source of all i can not will not hurt him, that would be a living death, and two lives not one, not very practical.

Keep in touch, really, i so need it, and hopefully you can need me.

Sorry if writing messed up, on pain meds, broken bones, and all.

Aly

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Kris: sleep is essential to your well-being. Don't feel guilty about taking medication for it. Last night I really wanted to knock myself out (after a disturbing pdoc appt). I took my usual 100 mg of trazodone and .5 mg Xanax. Then, I realized I had a migraine coming on, so I took 1 fioricet. All that did the trick (although I was a little worried about adding fioricet---but I had done that in the hosp, so I knew it wouldn't kill me).

Take care and keep posting,

dianebea

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