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philosophin

DBT skill of the day!

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Some skills I've used in the last few weeks:

Effectiveness & One thing at a time - been good at keeping a very balanced and efficient daily routine schedule of work, study, social activities, chores and relaxation time. Feeling more productive the last few weeks.

One Mindfully: Trying to look at things one day at a time, and when I start stressing about the future, i try to come back and just think about what I am doing right NOW this moment.

"Mindful" Body scan: For brief moments (on the bus, when I get an annoying email, upsetting thoughts, etc) I zone in on my body sensations and concentrate on slowing down my breath...trying to go through each body part and relax the tension. Focus on the breath moving into tense areas like neck, back, stomach, chest, throat, jaw...

Distraction: Mainly with social activities and travel. Been traveling the last 2 weekends and then had activities with husbands family. I tried to participate and engage as much as possible and not dwell on negative thoughts, this is very tough!!

** I would really like to work on Radical Acceptance & Non-judgemental - specifically, acceptance of my life situation and myself right NOW - not the situation I wish to be in or the future person I wish I was. Accepting all, the good and bad without judgement...

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This week, I am working on:

Radical Acceptance—self-acceptance.  I am working up to 10 minutes of meditating a day so that I can do the Acceptance pack on my meditation app.  

Radical openness—through keeping a self-enquiry journal

Balancing doing and being mind

Self-validation—also tied to my value of self-acceptance.  This is tough for me, but I think I finally grasp what it is intellectually, even if validating myself still doesn’t come naturally to me.

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The past few days I’ve used:

DEARMAN-FAST (at @tryp‘s suggestion for a messy situation with an acquaintance)

mindfulness (particularly at work—stopping to do a meditation twice)

adaptive denial (with respect to eating)

problem solving and pros and cons (with respect to weight and facial skin care)—though this was with my therapists help and suggestion...I didn’t come up with it on my own

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Wise Mind and Walking the Middle Path - for handling holidays with my parents; also mindfulness to some degree 

Mindfulness of current emotion - so i don’t wear myself out too much

sensory soothing - holiday music is perking up my mood

one-mindfully - trying to be in the moment and not worrying about work that I don’t really have to think about until Tuesday

cope ahead - situation I’m worried about = things not being different from last years he’ll; plan = use the skillls and strategies I came up with last year since they’d still be appropriate

 

Edited by dancesintherain

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Used opposite action to load my dishwasher even though I really didn't want to.

Also managed to engage in balanced eating from PLEASE today.

Trying for radical acceptance but not quite getting there.

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In the New Year, I’m starting with the foundation of DBT—mindfulness.  My goal is to practice at least 3 minutes of meditation every day this year, which I think is entirely realistic.  Of course, I’d like to do longer, but I’m not going to hold myself to it.

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Nice :) 3 minutes sounds like a really doable goal.

Lots of anxiety provoking transitions for me right now - working ACCEPTS today.

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FAST—recognizing that it would not be good for me mental health wise to visit a friend in the hospital today given past hospital trauma (it helped that I had visited yesterday)

mindfulness of current emotions - this is a really hard one for me, but I’m trying

accumulate positive experiences - football time!

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On 1/2/2018 at 10:04 PM, philosophin said:

In the New Year, I’m starting with the foundation of DBT—mindfulness.  My goal is to practice at least 3 minutes of meditation every day this year, which I think is entirely realistic.  Of course, I’d like to do longer, but I’m not going to hold myself to it.

I would like to try this as well. Tough part is dedicating a certain time of day - mornings are bad for me...I have no time during the daytime and at night when I'm home, I try to meditate and I just get really sleepy and zone out. I've learned in meditation class that meditation is not supposed to be a "relaxation" exercise it is like a disciplined way to train your mind and become aware of thought patterns before they start to control your emotions.

Lately, I've been working on Appreciating the Moment and Effective (getting things done, doing what I need to do)

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Opposite action: With the rain/cold/dark skies, i just want to stay in bed but i really can't. I went to work on time, I went to the gym, did laundry....yet I still feel MEH. So how long do you need to do these skills before something clicks and you start to feel noticeably better? I know the skills help you from becoming worse - but when do you see a positive impact?

I just signed up for an online class because I need to start actively looking for ways to increase personal Mastery and accomplishment.

*** I really want to be able to Accumulate Positive Experiences (every other day at least) AND attain Radical Acceptance about some current difficult situations that I cannot fully control. ***

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I just signed up for an online course also!  What are you taking?  I'm just doing an intro psych because I figure it won't be too taxing on my brain if I am struggling during the course of it.  I hadn't thought of it as a building mastery situation, but it seems like it could be.  It's also a positive experiences one for me...separate and apart from anything else I might do.

I don't know when things start to feel better after forcing your way through them.  I wish I knew. 

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I just used TIP - the temperature one with an ice pack to my forehead and bridge of my nose - for the first time in a while.  I was in trauma land and needed to be snapped out of it and my brain needed to chill out.

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Check the facts- to go to an appointment yesterday because I was feeling really worthless & like they didn't want me there.

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@dancesintherain i'm taking a writing course. It's nearly free, so why not? There are so many short/inexpensive online courses. I already have a degree (many moons ago) but I've been meaning to start up a variety of classes for awhile now, including some personal development stuff. I never follow through, because I'm constantly obsessing about the concrete outcome "finish line" before I commit to something (which we cannot always predict!!) I am hoping this will be a positive experience that will build momentum.

Question to all here: Have you found any ways that you are able to give yourself praise? I am trying to build more self-validation (versus seeking validation from other people, comparing myself). What are things that make you feel successful? How do you note/celebrate your achievements? I always gloss over things and in general, feel like I'm never good enough.

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Nice!

i struggle with self-validation...years of teasing and bullying and abuse win out a lot of the time.  I’m trying to buy into the whole positive affirmation approach, but it’s hit or miss whether I actually do it.

ill follow because hopefully someone else will have an actual answer.

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