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Goodwill999

extremes

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Hmmm...sounds to me like this is some kind of hypo-manic or manic episode.  The chemicals in your brain are playing tricks on you to make you think you're infatuated or in love with these people.  You seem, on some level, to know it's not real.  But as in any other mania-type feelings, that little voice of reason gets pushed aside by emotions which are being encouraged by your chemistry, and so on.  It's a helluva cycle.  I've had similar experiences myself.

It also sounds to me like travelling is your trigger for these events.  If you have a therapist, I would definitely bring it up.  Acknowledgment and understanding can do a lot to decrease the power these things have over you.  Your meds may not be quite doing the trick as well, so you might want to bring this up with your pdoc also.

These are just my opinions, and I'm not a doctor.  I do have triggers for manic episodes so I try to control them as much as I can.  Going up is so fun and euphoric, but I know full-well how bad coming down is.  It's a bad trip every time.

I hope this helps. 

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I myself usually do a good job of keeping my feelings to myself, so the infatuations are almost always one-sided, though that wasn't always the case.  That creates other problems though, as I'm left wondering if everything is always just in my head or is there ever any reciprocation.  And I don't need any more situations where I'm wondering whether or not everything is just in my head, haha.

The truth could be the perfect explanation here.  Maybe if you explain your situation to the other party they might understand.  Since these are sometimes professional relationships as well and MI can be a sensitive topic, you don't even have to say "I'm bipolar and so..."  you can just say "I have this thing about really liking great people sometimes, sometimes a little too intensely" or something along those lines.  They might be flattered more than anything.  I definitely would be.  That could clear the air and you wouldn't have to necessarily avoid them completely.  Otherwise, you just might have to cut yourself off and keep remindering yourself that these are chemical "feelings" not real.

Edited by Distorted Me
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