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OK, I am SURE there is some psychological explanation for this phenomenon, so could someone please help me get my mind around the fact that my anxiety makes me wory to death over all the little things till i can't sleep at night, but the big things leave me with no anxiety (no emotion actually) at all.

;)

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What kind of big things? 

I'm inclined to say that your mind feels like it has more personal control over the small things.  But maybe with big things, you feel powerless, helpless, or hopeless and don't even bother trying to control? 

Everyone is different though...

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awww, thought we were talkin' boobs here, was all ready to weigh in on the small end of things.

Isn't the preoccupation with little stuff a good way to keep busy so you don't hafta deal with the really heavy stuff? Like when I busily surf the net doing 'research' for an obscure word instead of maybe preparing for the tough meeting that starts in two hours?

I know, your problem is more serious than that. But that's the best analogy I can think of.

No, wait. I can do better. If I really sat down and thought about some of my family problems, I couldn't handle some of the conclusions I'd have to reach. So I just shut off the emotions when it comes to that stuff, and busy myself with less threatening stuff.

hth.

lily

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What kind of big things?

well like when my mom died, or when my partner's back went out and she couldnt walk and i had to call the ambulance to take her to the hospital and put her on morphine, or when i found a lump in my breast ... i do emotional shut down.  its weird. 

i like the reasoning thus far ... my mind is just like  ;) about it all

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your anxiety has convinced you that it is necessary (indeed part of you, but it's really an illusion) in order to survive. it whispers, 'you neeeed me' and then hisses. ok maybe not hisses. maybe yours does? mine kind of murmurs, and then growls.

so but in REAL survival situations, emergencies and stuff like that, your anxiety freezes, like it's supposed to do, but it's chatter, hissing, murmurs, growling, is not louder than the real you, otherwise held hostage and tied up in the basement, to come screaming upstairs and take over your executive function.

with anxiety paralyzed, you are able to use your brain. adrenaline shuts up anxiety. it can also be co-opted by anxiety, so i'm not making a generalization. just, i think for these emergency situations, the anxiety freezes. this matters waaaay too much to do the dance.

the anxiety wakes up afterward. sometimes with a venegance. sometimes it tries to work and convince the self that the very effective and necessary response was overreactive, or unecessary, working hard to again take hold of the reins, and warn that NEXT emergency, the self had better relent.

but then it could be the 'fight' response, turned positive, turned effective, channelled into directive. but i somehow can't figure it out for sure. i feel like if my anxiety were responsible for calm, collected, emergency response, i don't know. i just wouldn't be able to help.

i don't know.

pj

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For me a big part of my anxiety is misplaced. Rather than allowing myself to be upset over the death of a loved one; or taking care of things that I need to do but can't make myself (like finding a new job). 

I squish all that anxiety down, so I don't feel much about the big stuff anymore. But then it leaks out all over the place in stupid things, like going grocery shopping.

Does this make any sense? It sort of does to me, but I just upped my med dosage today and I have a cold, so I'm really spacey.

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  I find that with my anxiety, I focus on many little things, too, but I think this is because, and I think this is probably a universal truth, when I am feeling anxious my mind races.  And when your mind is racing, you naturally can't deal with any big problems, because you are so frantic.  I find that the more quickly my mind is moving, the more I try to grasp on to thoughts and ideas, maybe as a way of slowing down, but they are never good things to grasp on to. 

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