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phone phobias - does it freak you out?


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I do okay when I'm the one calling, but I hate hate HATE when my phone rings. I usually don't bother to even answer my house phone, and my cell phone tells me who it is, so I usually ignore, then text-message that person later. So yeah, I'm with you on that.

I dunno, it just feels like an intrusion, I haven't had time to think of what I want to say, I don't necessarily even want to talk to that person, performance anxiety, etc.

Yup, I get it.

lily

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For some reason it doesn't bother me at work, but when it rings at home it sends me into full panic mode.  My bf is the same.  We look at each other in complete horror and don't answer 99% of the time.

We frequently just turn it off so that we don't have the anticipatory anxiety, you know... just in case it "might" ring.

Nuts, yes we are thank you.

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I absolutely detest talking on the telephone, even for 3 minutes, to my mother.  I can't stand that you can't see the other person's facial expression and body language.  I love talking to people in person.  Strangely, almost every job I've had requires me to spend a lot of time on the telephone.

Tommy

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For some reason it doesn't bother me at work, but when it rings at home it sends me into full panic mode.  My bf is the same.  We look at each other in complete horror and don't answer 99% of the time.

We frequently just turn it off so that we don't have the anticipatory anxiety, you know... just in case it "might" ring.

Nuts, yes we are thank you.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Maybe it is a nut thing, but I have done this for years. I do it still, even with caller ID, just because I can't stand the intrusive sound of incoming calls. Not to mention there are about 2 people I enjoy talking to on the phone right now.

The ONLY reason I have a phone is for emergencies. Since I have children, I feel a duty to have this horrible device.

I have a cell phone too, same rules apply. I never answer it. I keep it for a line between me and the kids for when I'm not at home. Period. Nuts? Okay. I can deal with that.

I rather consider it a huge Pain in the Ass rather than a phobia, but whatever.

S9

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i can answer the phone fine.  i can take messages and talk to people and stuff.

but i HATE HATE HATE calling people.  even if it's just to get an appointment or something.  i stare at the phone like it's my worst enemy.  even if i know exactly what i need to say and everything.  i don't know why the fuck i'm like this, because i didn't used to be, but i am.  i really need to call to get a hair appointment but the phobia is there.  won't do it.

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Hate to answer the phone. Hate to make phone calls. which is worse? Probably answering. I don't know who I'm about to be subjected to, and what they'll say. I feel as if I'm caught off guard the minute I mumble "hello". Husband usually answers the phone at night. It just rings during the day.

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Wait this was about phone tag or something.

phone phobia, actually.

Saturine yea it's a drag when the phone rings at home as the one person I so enjoy can't call here. Life sucks.
What do you mean by the person "can't" call? Why can't they call you? Why does life suck?

S9

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You know what's much worse than ringing phones?  Someone at the door when you aren't expecting anyone!!!  Sheer horror. 

My bf and I look at each other, wide eyes and whisper "Who the hell is that!!!!!!". 

There is an impuse to grab a baseball bat or something before answering.  Hahahahaha, chances are it's just another home alarm company salesman.

It's funny after the fact, but damn scary when it happens.

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There is a time and a place for everything, I can desire much, too much out of this life right now as I'm backing into creation somehow. And the loving spirit is following me always

watching helplessly.  Will the  good spirit always forgive me? Who could be loved without trust in the other? Who would love anyone if all desire could win? Does anyone need to know the secrets in another's soul, only God needs to know and it is only His place to judge me. I can live, die and be happy as long as I have not betrayed the gifts God has bestowed on my loving soul.

And life always has it's sucky moments of unanswered prayers but sometimes those

prayers are answered. Sometimes our wishes are anwsered without our acknowlegment. Like phone calls that we are too lazy to reach for or too phobic to face.  B)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wow, that is deep, are you on the weed? Or maybe I should be... ;)

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I hate it when the phone rings too. When I'm hypomanic I'm more likely to answer if caller id shows it may be unsolicited just to get rid of them. Once my sister in law called and it said "Private". Thinking it was a sales call to get rid of I answered it and then had to actually talk to her. Painful.

Funny thing is, if the phone rings in the middle of the night and I'm in a dead sleep, I'll automatically answer it.

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I am self employed. All my business comes in over the phone. I hate phones. I hate to answer the phone and I hate to call people back. I also have a cell phone but don't give my number out. I too get a look of horror when the phone rings. Is this social phobia? I could go on and on about my phone horrors......I know now some of you understand.

fred

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although i would never have classed myself as a phone phobic, i would say that i have at times been very anxiety ridden about answering the phone.

but i now have a retail job where one of my favourite job positions is the one where i'm answering the phone for the store. i like meeting and helping people. go figure.

grouse.

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I have bad phone phobia. I don't even answer when it's my dad. I don't use it unless its to call my best friend or my mom.

In fact, I'm supposed to make a call right now/relatively soon, to go see a private pdoc. I don't have to pay, insurance covers it, and all that, but i"m essentially paralyzed. Like, I can't even choose who I want to see, let alone make the call.

I just find it ironic, now that I am set to see a tdoc, I can't make the appointment. fuckin eh.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I can't stand phone calls.

My heart POUNDS, and when I answer the phone, I suddenly find myself out of breath. Often people ask, "Did you just run a marathon or something?" when I was about 3 steps from the phone. ;)

Even worse is when I have to call someone. I rarely RARELY (if ever) do it.

Heh. Oh god, and when me and my brother want to order a pizza. . .

Me: You call.

Brother: No you call.

Me: Nooo.. just do it.

Brother: No YOU do it.

Me: nevermind. I'll go without the damn pizza.

GAH.

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Me: You call.

Brother: No you call.

Me: Nooo.. just do it.

Brother: No YOU do it.

Me: nevermind. I'll go without the damn pizza.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I can't even count how many times me and my brother have had the exact same argument ;)

I have no idea why I'm so afraid of phones, because I can be so talkative in person... when I'm on the phone with someone, I just freeze up.

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Me: You call.

Brother: No you call.

Me: Nooo.. just do it.

Brother: No YOU do it.

Me: nevermind. I'll go without the damn pizza.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I can't even count how many times me and my brother have had the exact same argument ;)

I have no idea why I'm so afraid of phones, because I can be so talkative in person... when I'm on the phone with someone, I just freeze up.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Im the same way with my boyfriend...he'll ask me to go order something, since he's running into town anyway, and he'll pick it up...and I'm always like "Well, why don't you call now???" Its like Im afraid I'll order WRONG or something....I dont know.

Also, Ive had a massive amount of organizations calling wanting me to donate money lately...mainly for the state police and stuff...and I almost ALWAYS freeze up...I always try and tell these people that I dont have the money to donate, blah blah blah...but they will keep it up...I hate that...I have caller ID, but some of these calls are hidden behind 'UNKNOWN CALLER' and several of my relatives who have unlisted numbers also come up like that on my caller ID...so I answer...sometimes I hate my phone...alot.

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I'm so intimidated by how many posts you all have... is it okay for me to just start chiming in? I've read a lot of what's on here already, you seem like nice people...

I have mixed feelings about phones. Sometimes, I don't mind them at all. I'll call my parents or my boyfriend with no trouble. I'll call most of my friends with only a little preparation. Actually, I guess it's cell phones I mind less. When I'm positive that the person I'm looking for is the only one that could possibly answer, I'm okay. It's calling people's houses where it's likely that someone else entirely could answer I get freaked out. But at any rate, when it comes to calling people I don't know, forget it. I've spent more time in the past month staring at my phone trying to somehow get up the nerve to call the doctor's office, or the counceling office at school, or other school offices for other random things. I've gone out of my way a few times to make appointments in person, which I don't like doing either, just to avoid calling.

I'm so distracting myself from this paper I should be writing. And it's 4:00 am. Oy...

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  • 3 months later...

I feel so comfortable here. Hello! for my first post.

I too have a little fear of answering the phone. Especially an unknown number.. not knowing who it is is usually the worst.

I had to quit my last job where the main role was answering the phones and calling people. Eek! The longer I worked there, the worse the hate of using the phones seemed to get. Never did understand that. Usually, you would think doing something more, you'd get better at but obviously not always.

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Guest Vapourware

The longer I worked there, the worse the hate of using the phones seemed to get. Never did understand that. Usually, you would think doing something more, you'd get better at but obviously not always.

It's quite interesting, isn't it...sometimes, the more you confront something, the more frightening it becomes. I think it's because when you do confront something, you aren't dealing with why the fear existed in the first place. Instead you're forcing yourself to be under more pressure.

I'm another who dislikes phones. I have to rehearse my opening lines over and over before I can make a call. Doesn't matter if the phonecall would be over in about half a minute; I can spend half an hour rehearsing my opening lines in my head.

The amusing thing is that my work consists of regular phone contact. I don't find my dislike of the phone lessening either!

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wow just found this thread & boy howdy can i relate! i hate phones and fear them. calling out or answering. i have no caller ID, i still screen calls with an answering machine. it's my way of answering the phone without having to talk to the caller. bugs the shit out of folks. they know i am here listening. heh.

as for cell phones, shit no way! i have had folks try to get me to buy one and i react like they are suggesting i carry a cobra around with me! when i leave home, my trusty machine still answers my phone. why would i EVER want to have to carry a phone around with me when i go out, considering i am in a state of catatonic terror if i have to leave the house in the first place?

as for calling out, i have a private blocked number, and i do not show up on other's caller ID. i might need to hang up quickly before they answer and i like the anonymity. i hate when someone *69's me to see who called. still, they only get my machine!

but when i do take a call, the worst part is, i rise to the occasion and chat amiably. i don the mask. so the other person has no clue how i am feeling. and they talk and talk. and i have NO IDEA HOW TO END THE CALL. i have gotten trapped in calls that went on for HOURS this way. *sigh*

i actually collaged all over my phone words saying stuff like CAUTION and NO DRAMA and stuff. i briefly tried call waiting but it seemed like torture to me. this way the one good thing about being on the phone is the Blessed Busy Signal is all anyone else calling me will get. because i am busy! busy trying to get off the phone!

but an unexpected Someone at the Door is far worse. my Cat and i both freeze and then head for the bedroom to hide. we are really quiet. i know where every squeak in the floor is. i dismantled the Doorbell. if i had not i would have long since died of heart failure. now they have to knock. and knock and knock. heh. and then leave... anyone i actually know and like KNOWS to call first. and leave a message on my machine! :cussing:

you folks are cool! now here's my Question ~ given all we've said, anyone here ever have great phone sex? ;)

this is from minxie, saying hi :)

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Minxie...

Your post had me laughing so hard, I was crying. You and I are way too alike. Thanks so much for sharing...I hope you don't mind, but I read some of your post aloud to my family just to show them that I'm not the ONLY ONE. :)

My heart stops when the phone rings, and both of my two kids are the same way, so we all just sit there and look at each other while it rings and rings, then we let out a sigh when it stops and we know it goes to voicemail. We don't even screen with a machine! Then I check the voicemail and see who it is. If it's my mom, I'll call her back. Anyone else, well, I leave it up to my husband.

My cell phone...I only have it for emergencies for kids and such...only my mom and my best friend and immediate family members have the number. And, I hate to say it, but I still freeze sometimes when my mom calls.

I've also done the slinking away and hiding when there's Someone At the Door.

The worst for me, by far, though, is Making Calls. I dread, with all my heart, making phone calls. I have missed out, I'm sure, on many friendships in my life because of this. I just can't do it. I don't know how to talk on the phone...partly from anxiety, partly because I'm an aspie and I don't get the small talk thing. I don't know how to start the conversation and yes, like you Minxie, I don't have any idea how to END IT. ???

And making calls to make appointments? Oh, I can ruin an entire day leading up to such calls. Bleh.

Needless to say, I have never held a job requiring phone work of any kind. ;)

And, uh, no, no phone sex for me. I'd be a celibate nun if it was a phone sex world.

Take care my phone phobic friends,

~Cat

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thankies! i am glad i made you laugh! we should chat on the phone sometime! just kidding!

i hate when folks i am getting to know and kind of liking at some support group or such asks for my phone number. i feel simultaneously flattered and doomed. recently i have begun actually saying that i have a phone phobia. but they are clueless as to what that means and they also assume it does not include them.

when my Mother was alive, i dreaded her calls. the sound of her voice on my machine shot my blood pressure up sky high, and she was a sweet old lady. *coughs* one mustn't speak ill of the dead. i would like to have caller ID and my machine. then i would feel more well guarded. actually a drawbridge and a moat would be nice too. but with Voicemail, don't you have to use the phone to hear your messages? i would find that kinda hard. as it is, when i am coming home from being out, i approach my machine very slowly and cautiously, i creep up to it and peek quickly to see if the little red light is flashing saying i got calls and how many. then i can go rest a while calming down before i actually listen to the messages. because chances are at least one of them will neccesitate my calling them back. *sigh* i thoroughly enjoy deleting the messages. it is so therapeutic!

but calling them back sucks. calling out is awful. there is a whole range of awfulness to it, depending on what kind of call it is. a business or appointment call that has those menus first will get me in a foul mood before i even reach a human. on the other hand i dread the human more. sometimes my therapist has had me make calls in her office with her there, to support me and to make sure i got them done.

if it is a friend, i am the most terrified. i know i should call, i know i should. i have lost soooo many friends this way, not calling and never visiting them. but what on earth would i say? and what would they say? i turn on my TV and caption it so there is no sound but i can follow the show, say for instance a good Law & Order rerun. i prepare where i will sit and get a cool beverage. i pace around. then i put it off for days till they call back and i go through this whole routine again. finally i approach the phone as if it is that cobra i mentioned before. i grab it quickly and forcefully right behind the head, that is to say i snatch the receiver off the hook rapidly and hold it tightly in my sweaty palm. as my vision clears i stumble towards the rolodex (of COURSE i do not have speed dial! what a silly question) and find the number i need, still holding the cobra. then i take my seat in front of the TV. since i have NO IDEA how long this call will be, it could be hours, i find the TV comes in handy. i try to breath and then i push the buttons. i dial. i put the bullets in the chamber. i put the gun to my head, i mean i lift the receiver to my ear, and i pray they are out and i will get their voice mail!

the only good thing about this is that it is far easier than going over to their house to visit. THAT terrifies me even more! or them coming here. so in that one sense the phone is a wonderful invention! :cussing:

it's swell we can identify with one another Chesire Cat and the rest of you nifty folks! luckily i am not in one of my too phobic to post moods! i get those too. *sigh* ;) but it is so great to know i am not alone in this weird way. i thought i was. i thought it was JUST ME. so this has been a terrific relief. laughing about this is way better then just secrecy & shame.

thanks oodles, from minxie :)

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  • 2 months later...

Is it me or are people trying to call more? Is it fall or what? all of a sudden i have people crawling out of the woodwork to "see how we're doing" Thank goddess I can cut the ringer off and check whenever I'm ready. I love fall but it leads to the inevitable: "when are we going to see you? are you coming for halloween(Thanksgiving and Christmas and little whosis' birthdays etc)

phones suck

lilie

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before i was on disability, i used to work as an IT help desk analyst. i worked on a contract basis for various companies. one of my main duties, naturally, was to answer the phone and help the people through their problems.

i've never had a problem USING the phone, my problem is the RINGING of the phone. the sound of the ringing sends me into hyper-panic mode. then i don't want to answer it because it is ringing!

i've had workplaces where they've turned down the phones for me so they're not as scary, and also a workplace that changed the phones to light up instead of ring when we had incoming calls.

if only my cell phone would do that, oh wait, it can vibrate, but i'm still afraid to answer it...maybe i do have phone phobia...lol

i don't have a home phone, only a cell phone, which of course has caller ID. i *try* to screen calls this way, but most of the time i end up answering the phone, to make it stop ringing, and get some kind of telemarketer on the other end. then i have the phobia (i lock up and can barely speak) that i have to decline their offer and thank them for their time.

UGGGG!!!!!!!!! the phone IS a horrible device. i hate the electronic leash.

my mom yells at me (and i'm 28 years old) when i don't have my phone on, "in case of emergencies". well, anyone could call at any time, so screw that idea!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've had various shades of phone phobias over the years.

Currently if I hear the phone ring I don't often answer it unless I know I'm expecting a really important call (like after a job interview or so). If it's my cell phone I look and see who it is first and decide if I want to speak to them or not. That will depend on my mood. A lot of the time I think / hope that if it was important they'd leave me a voicemail and tell me the reason for calling, then I can ring them back.

If I have a visitor, I tend to ignore the phone if it rings. I mean, in my eyes, just because the phone rings doesn't mean you have to answer it. If you're already talking to someone you can't just answer the ph and start talking to someone else. And sometimes it's hard to talk about some things if you have a visitor who can hear.

Sometimes to me it feels like a kind of "intrusion". I also can't stand it if people arrive at my home uninvited, I make sure people know they MUST arrange with me before the come. Again, the intrusion thing.

In the same way I never use an alarm clock to wake me up in the morning, that horrible sound waking you up to start your day, I can do without it!

Workwise, I'll try to avoid as much as possible having to answer the phone. If I have to make a complex call, I always wait for a suitable time, until most people have left the room, or find a quiet room with a phone that I can use.

Im trying to get over the work phone phobia (have gotten better over the years) since it's sometimes a requirement of your job and I wouldn't want it to affect my work performance, I'd rather learn to deal with it with the least amount of stress. Working on it.

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  • 1 month later...

Phones are evil. I hate answering the phone and have had my wife get really mad because I will sit there phone next to me as it rings and not answer it. I have caller ID but unless I really want to talk to the person I don't pick up. Some how work is different maybe because I have it all figured out what I have to say before I make a call. Many times on the phone I just don't know what to say or do :embarassed:

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I really hate the phone. Caller ID is good but not perfect. If it says "private", "unknown", or a name I don't recognize I don't answer it. I haven't worked for two years so I have a lot of creditors calling. The phone sends shivers down my spine.

As doors go, my parents have a home business so I never have to answer the front door. In fact, I get pretty damn scared when the bell rings. The back door is different, that's for me and there are currently only two people that can use it.

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  • 3 weeks later...

My cell phone freaks me out. It rings and I cringe. My friends think I hate them. I just can't bear to answer. Especially if time has passed since our last conversation- then I just don't know what to say. There is always the "I call you all the time... why are you avoiding me?" I have lost many friends this way. I NEVER answer if I don't recognize the number... and its getting harder and harder to answer it when I do know who it is. I won't even check my voice mail, in fact I changed the answering language to spanish (too confuse people)... and my mail box has been full for months. I hate checking it... about every 6 months I get my roommate to delete them all for me. This way I can "stick my head in the sand" and not worry about it. I am glad I am not alone. I just don't know what to do about my growing problem.

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