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What, if anything, actually works?


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I visited my pdoc last Monday and he suggested raising my Lexapro to 30mg from 20. This was a week after my scary experience with Remeron, which oversedated me for three days or so (pdoc said it was the worst reaction he'd ever seen to it). Pdoc says that's there no one drug cure for PTSD, just meds for any conditions (e.g., depression, anxiety) that can help.

My next appointment is Monday. Today's Thursday. I see tdoc tomorrow. I feel like shit. I feel worse than I did before we raised the Lexapro, and that's saying a lot. I told pdoc that I felt like starting from scratch with the meds, but we're not going to do that. Each day, my wife looks at me and says, "you're not having a good day, are you?" No, I'm not. Of course, her depression is kicking in pretty badly lately, as well.

I feel shut down emotionally, except for hopelessness and nagging anxiety breaking through the surface, completely unmotivated. It's hard to get outside, hard to get out from in front of the computer, hard to get out of bed, hard to care. Fortunately, I'm doing some volunteer work, which at least gets me out of the house a bit more; it's computer work, which I like, and the people are safe.

I'm not even certain why I'm writing this down, but I have to write it down somewhere. It seems I'm doing as much as I can: pdoc, tdoc, somatic experiencing, EMDR coming up. And the more I do, the worse I feel. Is it because the effects of PTSD are more real to me?

Can I just scream, just once? Holla back...

f1

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I'm not even certain why I'm writing this down, but I have to write it down somewhere. It seems I'm doing as much as I can: pdoc, tdoc, somatic experiencing, EMDR coming up. And the more I do, the worse I feel. Is it because the effects of PTSD are more real to me?

Can I just scream, just once? Holla back...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just my opinion and expereince, but yes I think one reason you may be feeling so badly is beause you are in the midst of working on the PTSD. When you open that old, infected wound to let all of the puss drain out so that it can heal, it makes you feel pretty rotten. But on the up-side, the puss will eventually get drained via therapy and EMDR and a time will come when you feel better. I'm sure the med changes and increasing the Lexapro is taking its toll as well.

Write all you want, whenever you want, it helps. Volunteering is great, helping others makes you feel better about yourself. Feel free to scream. I'm always up for a good scream.

<<<<SCREAM>>>>

Hang in there. Therapy for PTSD, any therapy for that matter, is hard work and it is painful but the results are worth it. 

Hope this wasn't too obnoxious, just trying to be upbeat.

Hang in there,

Erika

*edit becaue I can't spell!

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for me, writing (or if you paint, sing, play a musica instrument, whatever) helps all of my MI.  pretty much anything productive that can distract your mind from those nasty thoughts. 

though you will need to explore them to help get through your PSTD, you might want to try some sort of therapy [more intensive than you're getting now].  the kind i have [pstd] is rather odd so i can't be of much help but therapy may be painful, but if done right could really help.

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pretty much anything productive that can distract your mind from those nasty thoughts.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You're right, Min. I think the 30mg Lexapro left me so lethargic that it was hard to do anything. It's been lowered now, and I feel more energy to do things. I was reading a newspaper article about the artist Goya, and the photos of his paintings that accompanied the article really stood out. On the 30mg, everything was just grey.

Peter

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