Sensation Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 I am bymelf so much of the time, except for the background noise of tv, its eerie at times. Especially late at night it seems like I am on this planet alone with just my tv. Oh well just a thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirMarshall Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 I'm here, don't give yet! Best, A.M. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sylvia Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Secrets I understand how you feel. There are times thats all I want to be- alone and safe- and then I feel just like you do. Its part of the human condition, to hook up on some level, to make contact. Thanks for expressing your feelings, I felt like that for the last several days. No platitudes, just a hook-up. Sylvia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robotlove29 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 I've often thought about this question...ever notice how when one spouse dies (in an elderly couple that's been together for a long time), the other spouse usually follows in a rather quick turn for the worse, heathwise and doesn't last much longer?? After my grandfather died from lung cancer, my whole family noticed my grandmother slipping into depression and she has really deteriorated mentally speaking (calling me by my cousins names, not recognizing me on the phone, etc.) over the past year from quite a sharp, and extremely intelligent lady. I feel really bad for her, it's obvious she is lost without my Opa. Often myself I feel like I could die from lonlieness because I just can't imagine living without my SO. I'd just be an empty shell of a person.... Being moderately BPD amplifies this feeling by a million times too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~nestling~ Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 ((hugs)) babies have been known to die for lack of contact. one part of myself, the younger part, often feels she will die if noone comes to love her and pick her up and let her know she's welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensation Posted February 25, 2006 Author Share Posted February 25, 2006 yeah if I finally meet someone, I will be so needy with all the lack of attention and social experience. The late night silent echos is deafening/ I see that I was here last night at the same time, how odd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~nestling~ Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 ((hugs)) night time can be lonely....some of my deepest aloneness has been at night.....still would be if I wasn't knocked out by remeron... I feel the same.....which is one of the reasons why I've not sought put a relationship....scared I'll scare the other away.... the struggle can be that we are rightfully needy, need to have needs for love and acceptance met, but how to get them met healthily and and safely....which is one of the reasons for me why therapy is so valuable...it is repairing some of the holes in my emotional heart.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sal_manella Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 Hi Secrets, I know just how you feel. I live alone in a studio apartment, and most of the time I don't have anyone to talk to. I guess the question would be, would you be happy if you had a non-stop social life? I know that part of the reason I spend a lot of time alone is because I am an introverted person. I wouldn't choose to go out very often even if I did have an active social life, but it does get lonely too much of the time. Do you have anyone you can talk to on the phone, a friend, a family member, anyone? I find that this helps a lot. Anyway, hang in there. Don't let anyone tell you there's something wrong with you just because you feel alone. I am bymelf so much of the time, except for the background noise of tv, its eerie at times. Especially late at night it seems like I am on this planet alone with just my tv. Oh well just a thought. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frosty Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 :embarassed: Hi Frosty here...I have a pretty bad relatonship with my husband and with 3 nice kids but all have MI.s KINDA TOO MUCH FOR ME. I was alone before but had 2 friends, now - none. I won't leave because I know I will never make it . I will be all alone. I think I would rather be tormented constantly than be alone... I am so sad inside but I hide.. I would rather die now.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
synthetic Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 yeah if I finally meet someone, I will be so needy with all the lack of attention and social experience. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Yeah, that's me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frosty Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 yeah if I finally meet someone, I will be so needy with all the lack of attention and social experience. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Yeah, that's me too. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> how do you know you will not meet some one who cares and needs to give love and attention to feel alive,,, Look around you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensation Posted February 26, 2006 Author Share Posted February 26, 2006 Hi Secrets, Do you have anyone you can talk to on the phone, a friend, a family member, anyone?I am bymelf so much of the time, except for the background noise of tv, its eerie at times. Especially late at night it seems like I am on this planet alone with just my tv. Oh well just a thought. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Noope, thats why I am lonely at times Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazySoprano Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I have wonderful friends from my undergrad, but they all live far away. I haven't made many friends here. Sometimes I feel terribly lonely. It's a sucky feeling. ~CS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punky Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 Perhaps a pet would be comforting. Dogs and cats are great companions. If you need something smaller/lower maintenance, rats are also very loving critters. If you get a rat only get one and it will bond with you. It will cuddle and eat out of your hand. I like them all. I have two dogs and am amazed at how centered and gentle I feel inside after petting and brushing them. My neighbor has raised rats all her life. Her rats are very sweet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensation Posted February 27, 2006 Author Share Posted February 27, 2006 Perhaps a pet would be comforting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazySoprano Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 My little sister has a very cute bunny. How do you feel about hamsters? I also like fish, but they're not soft and furry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensation Posted February 27, 2006 Author Share Posted February 27, 2006 Hi Secrets, Do you have anyone you can talk to on the phone, a friend, a family member, anyone?I am bymelf so much of the time, except for the background noise of tv, its eerie at times. Especially late at night it seems like I am on this planet alone with just my tv. Oh well just a thought. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Noope, thats why I am lonely at times <{POST_SNAPBACK}> hi secrets. you're probably not looking for ideas but i think a lot of people including me can identify with what you're going through with your loneliness. i live with my boyfriend so i know i am blessed in that regard and i do not take him for granted. however it hasn't always been this way for me. and sometimes even with him here i still feel extremely isolated because of things i fear i just can't be too open with him about. i have no family to turn to, or friends, and that hurts. and it's always been this way. but i have two cats and they are super comforting. do you have any animals secrets? also this board helps me so much with my loneliness. and when my concentration level is working okay, i like to escape into a good book. i know what you mean about the buzzing of the tv in the background and it get's to me, too. a while back my boyfriend left me. we had been living hours from where we are now, a place he had wanted to live where i didn't know a soul but i went with him to please him among other reasons i won't get into right now. but anyway, i was in a bad place in therapy, real bad place and he couldn't handle it so he left me there in that strange place all alone to deal with all the rawness and suicidal depression and ptsd flashbacks that only continued to get worse. i've always known what it feels like to be alone with regards to people, but to have a strange city with a language barrier on top of that really did me in. anyway, this is not about me. i was just trying to share because i don't want you to feel alone even if you are physically living alone and feeling isolated from people. what i do now is i come here and connect with others in the same boat and i think it was saturnine who said it's so wonderful to be here where people just GET it, and i wholeheartedly agree. i wish i had known about this place back then. i hope you'll keep posting! sorry if i have been annoying or overbearing in any way. sometimes i just don't know what might be helpful but i feel compelled to try. good thoughts aurelie <{POST_SNAPBACK}> How did you tel your boyfriend you have mental illness during the relationship or did you tell him upfront? Why did he leave like that? Also how do you live with someone for extended period of time, what skills does it take. I fear being attached to someone who has friends for fear of feeling inferior and them finding out I am friendless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Sigma Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I fear being attached to someone who has friends for fear of feeling inferior and them finding out I am friendless. That's exactly how I feel. If someone is popular at my college, I avoid them, even if I'd really like to talk to them. I feel ashamed that I have no friends, and I feel like I wouldn't fit in with anyone who has friends because they're so different from me. Being lonely hurts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I told my girlfriend, now wife, up front that I was MI, but then it was "just depression" and now it is Bipolar Disorder; she is unhappy and feels like I concealed it from her even though I wasn't diagnosed BPD until over a year after we married. In her words, "It was more than I bargained for." Tommy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ~Aurelie~ Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I told my girlfriend, now wife, up front that I was MI, but then it was "just depression" and now it is Bipolar Disorder; she is unhappy and feels like I concealed it from her even though I wasn't diagnosed BPD until over a year after we married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 Tommy i am sorry your wife said that to you. my partner has said similar things out of frustration and hurt. what we go through with MI very much affects our partners and remembering that is what helps me to not take it too personally, although believe me i know it's not always that easy. and i know how it hurts. take care, aurelie <{POST_SNAPBACK}> aurelie, Thanks, I do try not to take it too personally and it works better some days than others Tommy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punky Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I'm deafly(sp) afraid of mice or rats :embarassed: how do you guys do that, oh my lordddd. We cant have pets in this complex, when I move into a better place i may get a pet if I find one that stays clean with no smells <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Well, I could never approach a wild one. In fact I would probably utter a little scream and run away. (Who knows what kind of cooties it might have, and I'm sure it would bite!) But domesticated ones are neat. Their little paws look like hands... But I'm not insisting you get one. If you don't like them then that's all there is to it. Too bad you can't have a pet where you live. Crazyboards has been a wonderful place for me to meet people to discuss all my crazy mixed up feelings. I've never joined a message board before this one. But I really needed to talk about my crazy and not too many people like it when I start talking about it in real life. "Hi, I'm crazy! My pdoc doesn't know what I've got, but she's giving me drugs that make things much better!" <punksailor is lonely as person runs away, shrieking like I'm a wild rat> Anyhow, keep checking in here. The people are really friendly and supportive with some occasional upsets as one person's crazy rubs somebody else's crazy the wrong way. But yeah, this is a good place to be. Things will get better, slowly but surely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensation Posted February 28, 2006 Author Share Posted February 28, 2006 hi secrets! i'm glad you're back. you said: >>How did you tel your boyfriend you have mental illness during the relationship or did you tell him upfront? Why did he leave like that? Also how do you live with someone for extended period of time, what skills does it take. I fear being attached to someone who has friends for fear of feeling inferior and them finding out I am friendless.<< <{POST_SNAPBACK}> i totally identify with the not having friends. my partner has TONS of friends. he is so well rounded and well balanced and with it and i am not of that. i have no friends. i have nothing going for me. i've always just thought of him as a gift to me for having suffered so much and i really don't know why he loves me or what he sees in me. i have a terrible time trying to meet his social life. but over time i have put boundaries and so has he and it seems to help. it has been very sad for him at times when he has to go out alone with his friends, you know without me, but he understands now that sometimes i just don't have it in me. aurelie <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensation Posted February 28, 2006 Author Share Posted February 28, 2006 I fear being attached to someone who has friends for fear of feeling inferior and them finding out I am friendless. That's exactly how I feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensation Posted February 28, 2006 Author Share Posted February 28, 2006 I told my girlfriend, now wife, up front that I was MI, but then it was "just depression" and now it is Bipolar Disorder; she is unhappy and feels like I concealed it from her even though I wasn't diagnosed BPD until over a year after we married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
synthetic Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 Can you ask him how he makes so many friends, like what is it that makes him not have a wall up. I remember when I was in 4th grade and I had no fear of people or making friends and I didnt care how others saw me, I was a free spirit. Then i was entered into honors class for 5th grade where there was a bully and my self esteem went dowhhill from then on. I still feel like the little girl who is afraid to grow up, scared of what others think, scared to take chances, scared of living. Nite <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Oh, this is so me. I'm really sorry that I can relate because being like this really sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punky Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 Hey Secrets, I like your new avatar. What anime is it from? When I was a junior in high school I had a few very close friends that I had known for 5 years. Then we moved to a super tiny town in the middle of nowhere, all the way across country, in Virginia. I was so pissed and heartbroken. My senior year and I felt newer than a freshman. There was extreme culture shock. I had a purple mohawk and was a gothic punk (I'm also a girl). The people at the new school were litterally afraid of me, which was kind of funny because I felt like a scared rabbit inside. I hardly ever even looked up, just watched my feet all the time as I walked. I felt like I would probably die of lonliness, too. Time went by, the sides of my hair grew out a few inches and I cut off the long mohawk part and dyed it all black. I looked more approachable and whenever I did make eye contact with somebody I tried to smile a little and say hi. It was hard. By the end of the year I had a couple of friends but nobody special. But the friends I did have would invite me out for coffee or to a party and I would meet more people. The best way to make friends is to look approachable, make some eye contact, and say "Hi". Ask people questions (I like your hair, where did you get it done? What did you do this weekend?). Most people like to talk about themselves and they'll like that you are interested. You'll at least meet new acquaintances. Keep saying hi and making small talk. As your self-esteem grows this will get more comfortable. And it can take a while to go from acquaintance to friend. I lived in Virginia for 3 years and had lots of acquaintances, a couple of good friends, but nobody really close. I hope that helps a little bit. It isn't easy to come out of the shell. It is downright scarey. But just keep pushing yourself to take babysteps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caillech Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Hi Secrets, Sorry to hear that you are so lonely. I agree with the posters that said it can be hard to meet people. Especially if you have other underlying problems like MI. Do you do therapy? Sometimes that helps. Ive been alone for a while now since my babies went to live with dad in January. I hate being alone. Crazy boards is a wonderful place to feel a sense of connection. Keep coming back and youll make a friend or two. Maybe more. We here all understand how hard it is to be mi. Blessings Selene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensation Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 Hey Secrets, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensation Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 Hi Secrets, Sorry to hear that you are so lonely. I agree with the posters that said it can be hard to meet people. Especially if you have other underlying problems like MI. Do you do therapy? Sometimes that helps. Ive been alone for a while now since my babies went to live with dad in January. I hate being alone. Crazy boards is a wonderful place to feel a sense of connection. Keep coming back and youll make a friend or two. Maybe more. We here all understand how hard it is to be mi. Blessings Selene <{POST_SNAPBACK}> No more therapy for me. I wasted about $500 last year on useless therapist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sal_manella Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Hi Secrets, Do you have anyone you can talk to on the phone, a friend, a family member, anyone?I am bymelf so much of the time, except for the background noise of tv, its eerie at times. Especially late at night it seems like I am on this planet alone with just my tv. Oh well just a thought. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Noope, thats why I am lonely at times <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I was just asking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caillech Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Hi Secrets, Just a quick note to let you know that I looked up Loneliness on an iternet search engine and came back with lots of stuff. I use yahoo, but I would imagine just about any SE would yield the same results. Some of the stuff that came back was: What loneliness is Types of loneliness Ways of coping with loneliness. Theres even websites dedicated to nothing but loneliness! Anyway, just thought id share. Hope you are feeling good, Selene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensation Posted March 4, 2006 Author Share Posted March 4, 2006 I found out about loneliness too on the web. It says that alot of people cope by being passive. Like sitting for long periods, isolating, ruminating about the same thing, etc. I am trying to get out of doing that. Like when I am on the net I try to make it more productive as well as have fun reading and posting on message boards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devon00 Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 How did you tel your boyfriend you have mental illness during the relationship or did you tell him upfront? Why did he leave like that? Also how do you live with someone for extended period of time, what skills does it take. I fear being attached to someone who has friends for fear of feeling inferior and them finding out I am friendless. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> This is *exactly* how I feel. I am so scared to hang out with people sometimes because inevitably they ask what I did that weekend, and inevitably the answer is "nothing," "shopping," "laundry" etc. I almost NEVER go anywhere or do anything or see friends, and this is hard to hide. I am super sensitive about it too, and I feel very sad when I heard how full others lives are. My guess is that people like us do best with friends who are very understanding and kind and nonjudgmental...the types of friends who won't be mad if we "disappear" for a while. However, I do think it can be a strain on them anyway. I had a friend like this who was wonderful, but just recently she's pulled away a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.