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Any DBT skill for that?

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Hello hello,

So, right now, I am struggling with feeling someone is abandoning me/has done it/will do it, and it's the worst thing ever. Great way to activate my infamous "borderline" traits. I am really struggling to not just withdraw from the relationship, stop ... being present, to avoid the hurt of losing someone. I know it's not a great way to deal with it (because then... I will definitely lose that friend). I was hoping to find some advice/some DBT skill, or something that would address that issue specifically? "how to deal with the terror/pain of maybe losing someone without just "leaving first"? What do you do?

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My go to for this is 'evidence'/'check the facts';
Why do you think they're going to leave you?
Is there another interpretation of the situation? Am I 'mind reading'?
What is the alternative evidence for the situation? eg. they might be busy, they might be stressed and distancing themselves; try to find alternatives to what you're interpreting as the cues to say they're going to leave.
 And remember; if you leave first, it completely rules out the chance of the relationship continuing. 

If this doesn't help it might be worth trying some emotion regulation or distress tolerance until you feel like you're in a better headspace to make an informed decision or can work through /'check the facts'. Sometimes I'm too upset to do it or to find alternative answers to what my mind is telling me.

Edited by Remnants

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