Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Sign in to follow this  
inabook

Any DBT skill for that?

Recommended Posts

Hello hello,

So, right now, I am struggling with feeling someone is abandoning me/has done it/will do it, and it's the worst thing ever. Great way to activate my infamous "borderline" traits. I am really struggling to not just withdraw from the relationship, stop ... being present, to avoid the hurt of losing someone. I know it's not a great way to deal with it (because then... I will definitely lose that friend). I was hoping to find some advice/some DBT skill, or something that would address that issue specifically? "how to deal with the terror/pain of maybe losing someone without just "leaving first"? What do you do?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My go to for this is 'evidence'/'check the facts';
Why do you think they're going to leave you?
Is there another interpretation of the situation? Am I 'mind reading'?
What is the alternative evidence for the situation? eg. they might be busy, they might be stressed and distancing themselves; try to find alternatives to what you're interpreting as the cues to say they're going to leave.
 And remember; if you leave first, it completely rules out the chance of the relationship continuing. 

If this doesn't help it might be worth trying some emotion regulation or distress tolerance until you feel like you're in a better headspace to make an informed decision or can work through /'check the facts'. Sometimes I'm too upset to do it or to find alternative answers to what my mind is telling me.

Edited by Remnants

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...