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i,m showing so many signs and i,m scared of


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Hello,this is difficult but i will try to explain,all my life i have felt different to other people,every thing is mixed up in my mind ,i spend nearly all my time,reliving conversations over and over again in my head,i feel everything at times travels to fast and i,m stuck in the slow lane feeling scared.I see things manily animals in the corner of my eye and will at times search for this animal,but it,s gone.I see balls of bright lights or flashes of lights floating in front of me.I hear a voice calling my name often but no ones called me.I,ve isolated my self completely and have no motivation to do any thing,i have no interest in friends apart from one as she does,nt judge but at times i think she thinks i,m weird.I can,t talk to people or look them in the eye,s i can,t speak or come out with the wrong words.I get very irratable if family or friends don,t leave me alone and spend hrs just staring at the tv day dreaming.I suffer with dp and severe anxiety nearly all the time as well.My pdoc has just started me on olanzopine 5mg,s and i have been on ciprolex 20mg,s for the past 3 years but alltogeather i have been on anti,d,s for 12 years,my diagnosis at mo is dp,anxiety with mania and paranoia but after reading stuff here i,m thinking my doc will aventually diagnose me with a form os scitzoprenia,sorry can,t spell it.At the moment my new tabs have brought my dp up a bit and i feel more chilled,but i,m still social phobic,and scared to talk,go out and so on.Any ideas or comments welcome as i feel like i,m slowely becoming more cut off from this shitty world. hc ;)

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Schizophrenia's just a label. I've been called "paranoid psychotic" and  "schizophrenic" by different doctors and I don't care which one people think I am. I've even enjoyed telling people I'm schizophrenic in the past just to gauge their reaction. Some of my best friends are hallucinating, paranoid schizo weirdos - any prejudice attached to the term "schizophrenic" is just social stigma from the Daily Mail (inexplicably popular badly-written reactionary right-wing UK tabloid) mob.

So what what your diagnosis will end up as - just get yourself checked out by a professional you can trust (or as much as this is possible) and maybe look to change your olanzapine to something else or up the dosage (I'm not sure how much 5mgs is relatively speaking) - maybe there is a better option for your type of condition than antipsychotics but I've never heard of it.

The social phobia might be the hardest thing to stop (going on my own nervy experience - would the right anti-depressant help? I have no idea) but at least I think there's some hope for alleviating the paranoia and hallucinations. And it's good you can post here about it - sounds like you need to tell people what's going on and Mind might be the next place to try - the helpline's pretty easy to find on the internet.

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  • 1 month later...

sorry you are going through all that. It's good you are getting help.  A lot of what you described sounds like me. I was first diagnosed with  paranoid schizophrenia and depression. now my current psychiatrist is trying to determine whether im schizophrenic and depressed, or schizoaffective.

just curious though... what makes you believe you have schizoaffective disorder? do you hallucinate/have psychosis even when your not depressed or manic? is your low motivation and social isolation due to depression, or are you that way even without being depressed?

good luck with your treatment.

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