Not a lot of new intros, but I see activity, so I'm here. I'm Jaelyn (Jae), 42 yo (very disappointed that I did not get the answers to life, the universe, and everything on my b-day), and crazy af.
Found the boards when i went looking for the site bc i'm on a new med. Sad the site is gone, glad to be here with yall fellow nutters.
So I joined this forum to talk about my various mental health issues and try to find a solution or two with people who can relate. I been diagnosed with autism, clinical depression, and oppositional defiant disorder at various points in my life and I'm currently 16 years old at the time of this writing. I hope to have a great time with you guys.
By Waiting To Be Found
Hi, very good question one which I ask myself frequently
I have had depression since my teenage years due to a crappy childhood, but in the last few years it has got progressively worse.
I have severe depression and severe anxiety. I have tried many different medications none of which have lifted the dark cloud that suffocates me every day. I have also tried numerous therapies and am currently in CBT treatment.
Meds wise I am taking Fluoxetine 40mg for depression and Propanolol for the anxiety daily.
It helps to some extent but I still have days where there's thoughts that people would better off without my sad existence weighing them down. I have no motivation with eating, cooking, cleaning personal activities, managing finances or even being alive some days.
What I hate most is the constant heavy feeling in my chest, the need to sleep constantly but then having horrible dreams non stop that leave me shaking. Depression for me is a physical feeling of dread along with all the crappy stuffs...
I waited 9 months for my latest therapy to start and I've been hanging on to this life line hoping the will offer some relief to the pain or better coping methods other than self harm and the incessant need to get high or just leave reality for a while. Needless to say 3 weeks in and I'm loosing faith.
I wish I had a switch for the old brain, so I could turn off the inner voice that hates me so much. Turn off the constant worrying and illogical thoughts oh I wish I wish I wish!
i wish for a lot of things really but most of all would like to believe I fit in this crazy world somewhere for some purpose and that I deserve to be here as well.
And breathe ......
So that sums it up in a nutshell apologies if none of this ramble makes any sense but I'm not used to sharing and I guess the main message was Hello
By Grey Matter
Hello friend. I'm Grey Matter, I guess I'll start with I've been lurking this forum board for almost a year now. I have trouble interacting with people online sometimes. I have skitzoaffective disorder bipolar type so when that fleeting moment comes that I get manic, I tend to make an arse of myself. I also have anxiety so that's fun. But this seemed like a decent forum people here seem pretty OK so after isolating myself and living under a rock I decided to give it another try. Hope it goes OK, so here's to rolling with the punches. Heh.
Have you ever woken up somewhere and have no idea where you are or how you got there? Like the guy in the first Saw movie. Well that's me. Except I'm not chained up in a dank room with a stranger and a
in the room. So yeah. No idea what this place is. Or who you people are. Or how I got here. But I'm here now so I guess I should just try and make the most of it. While at the same time never quite being sure of who I can trust, who is out to kill me/eat me/wear my skin or some other thing that strangers do to each other. Should I be scared? Probably... Let's just see what happens.