So long story short i have developed a cocaine addiction. This week has been of intense use. Ive been close to overdosing. Ive mixed with other drugs and i cant even remeber what drugs i did. The thing is, psychologically i feel ready to quit but my body is literally dying. I cant eat or sleep, i cant get out of bed. I want to quit but im afraid leaving it too fast will only increase the physical symptoms. I cant get medical help, only my psychologist can help me and thats why mentally i have the urge to quit but idk how to help the physical side. Also i take a bunch of meds because of schizoaffective disorder and anxiety. So theres always a bunch of substances in my body. Any advice on how to stop this binge? I want my health back. I want to sleep. Eat. Walk. Im totally sick and i know is from drugs.
So... it would appear I am at it again. I have slipped.
My life has become so apathetically bland a meaningless.
As a result, I have come to have my nights between 10p and 2-3a serve as my "Happy Hours."
These "Happy Hours" tend to consist of me eating an edible of some kind and just being "happy" (the fake kind you get from weed or other intoxicants) for he night until I fall asleep.
But lately I have been seeking out other ways to have some fun when I don't have weed.
For example: tonight I took a bunch more zolpidem, More than I would need for sleep. I am very relaxed and kind of hoping I at least get to see some of the well-known zolpidem illusions we all know nd love.
Aside from the zolpidem (for the calming effect), in the last month there have been a few (2) times I was in such a "not okay" state in which I was desperate to try anything that I scarfed down a few Ritalin just to see what will happen - see if it makes me any more focused. I figured what could happen? I fall asleep? I grind my teeth for a few days? Would it work and let me get things done? We discontinued it but I still have it.
I don't know what's going on with me lately. I have been relatively clean (save the occasional beer and some weed) for ten years... and now this, seemingly out of nowhere.
I can't help but feel that my life's station is contributing to it. Almost as if, if I can get out of this environment soon, maybe I can go back to normal life. But if I can't... what then?
All I know is, I don't want things to repeat when I quit drinking back in the day. That sucked. Worst depression ever!
One would think these think these things are useless. zolpidem is for sleep, dummy! Ritalin is supposed to help you focus (and not be so scrambled), idiot!
I know. I know.
I guess whatever happens happens.... uuuggghhhhh
In conclusion: every few years I slip up. Sometimes I have friends to help me. These days, I have none. It's all on me.
I was just prescribed Citalopram for my depression. And I'm going on vacation on the 25th. Obviously they tell you not to drink when using, well, any medication really..... But I'm wondering what the side effects would be if I had a few beers with my friends on vacation? I take the meds at night (I usually work nights so that's like my morning) so I guess I could just skip a dose if I decide to have a drink that night. But I don't want to disrupt the effect of the meds either.
Anyone have suggestions?
I have a MAJOR issue. I am literally addicted to juice. I'll drink an almost 3 qt bottle a day. I can taste it always. When I drink it is is like heaven, I can't get enough. Nothing taste wise compares. I wake up in the middle of the night for more juice...I crave it so bad I just drink straight out of the bottle.
Anyone else ever had this problem? Or a similar one? What did you find worked for you?
My nurse told me to stop drinking so much, and dilute it. I tried diluting the juice but it only made the craving worse. The intensity wasn't there, and I ended up drinking more. On a side note I am drinking primarily lemonade and the ocassional natural fruit soda.