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I've got six years clean and sober, and lately I have really been craving a drink badly. My wife and I have started trying to make new friends, and we've made a few, but they all drink. They do not pressure me to drink, but I really want to. I have so much social anxiety plus life is really stressful for me right now. My wife was sober too, but last time we went to a party, she had a few drinks. She asked me if it was OK, and I said yes, but I did feel jealous. I just didn't want to impede her fun. The very fact that I want to drink so badly tells me that I am not ready to and besides, I am on meds.

Anyway, has anyone been sober long-term and then started craving a drink badly? How have you handled it?

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I've haven't had a drink in two years, but I still crave it. I didn't drink every day, but when I did I was reckless. I have to keep reminding myself why I quit and that I am making a choice to be healthy and safe.

 I wonder if when you feel more familiar with these new people it won't be such a temptation. It's always tough to find your place in a new social setting. Eventually it will be your routine that you are not drinking with them.

 

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3 minutes ago, paintedsky said:

I've haven't had a drink in two years, but I still crave it. I didn't drink every day, but when I did I was reckless. I have to keep reminding myself why I quit and that I am making a choice to be healthy and safe.

 I wonder if when you feel more familiar with these new people it won't be such a temptation. It's always tough to find your place in a new social setting. Eventually it will be your routine that you are not drinking with them.

 

I think you are right about getting to feel more familiar with those people. I think that a lot of this is social anxiety based, that and I never really learned how to socialize without drinking. For the first few years I was sober, I never went out or met new people. I didn't even spend much time with the friends I already had because they all drink. You are also right that I just need to make not drinking with them a habit, then hopefully it will become more comfortable. I will keep reminding myself why I don't drink too - because I was a mess and I made myself and other people unhappy and unsafe.

Thanks!

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It's good you are embracing opportunities to socialize more. I have gone through times where I isolate and don't go out. It takes a lot of strength to turn that around.

Edited by paintedsky

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1 minute ago, paintedsky said:

It's good you are embracing opportunities to socialize more. I have gone through times where I isolate and don't go out. It takes a lot of strength to turn that around.

Btw. I saw in your signature you take vitamin D. I can't believe how much better I feel since I've been taking vitamin D. Do you notice a difference? I am just curious. :)

Thanks. My therapist has been pushing me to get out and meet people, and I know she's right, but socializing is really hard.

Yeah. I have been feeling better on the Vitamin D. Less tired.

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Last night was a tiny victory for me. I was in town and my plans changed and I kept thinking I could just go in the bars for one drink. But after driving around aimlessly for while I made the right choice and didn't go in. That's one more night I kept myself driving sober.

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11 minutes ago, paintedsky said:

Last night was a tiny victory for me. I was in town and my plans changed and I kept thinking I could just go in the bars for one drink. But after driving around aimlessly for while I made the right choice and didn't go in. That's one more night I kept myself driving sober.

Congrats. I understand how hard that can be.

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12 hours ago, Byron-Black said:

I think you are right about getting to feel more familiar with those people. I think that a lot of this is social anxiety based, that and I never really learned how to socialize without drinking. For the first few years I was sober, I never went out or met new people. I didn't even spend much time with the friends I already had because they all drink. You are also right that I just need to make not drinking with them a habit, then hopefully it will become more comfortable. I will keep reminding myself why I don't drink too - because I was a mess and I made myself and other people unhappy and unsafe.Thanks!

I would LOVE to hear some tips on this also. Been trying to drastically cut drinking for a few years now. Unable to stop completely...main problem being, in 5 years, I've moved twice (to a foreign country) where I didn't know a single person, had no job, and no colleagues. You are forced to start from scratch. In order to build a social/work network, meet available/social people (with no kids) that work all day - The main option is bars!!

I go to meetups, different activity groups, but haven't found anything that I enjoy. I try to go to bars and just drink soda, but I get insanely bored, restless and anxious. I need to just avoid the bar environment, but inevitably, even if I meet people for dinner, everyone always heads to a bar for drinks after, or meets for happy hour drinks, etc. For every birthday party, holiday, celebrations there is alot of alcohol. I can't continue, when I drink on my meds, my mood becomes unstable, depressed and unpredictable (from super happy/buzzed/chatty to sobbing/hopeless/argumentative within like 2-3 hours) I disclose things to people or do stupid things that I regret. I'm way too old for this kind of thing. Do others here have this experience?

Edited by Blahblah

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On 2/3/2018 at 12:10 PM, Blahblah said:

 I can't continue, when I drink on my meds, my mood becomes unstable, depressed and unpredictable (from super happy/buzzed/chatty to sobbing/hopeless/argumentative within like 2-3 hours) I disclose things to people or do stupid things that I regret. I'm way too old for this kind of thing. Do others here have this experience?

This is exactly what happens to me. I am in my twenties and a definite alcoholic though I've never been to a meeting. Probably because I usually keep my drinking private -- I drink at home when I'm anxious, I don't drive drunk, etc. But when I DO go out and have a drink.... yikes. It's bad enough when I have the chattiness at home and all I have is my phone to text and call people. It's far worse when it's out in public. And I also can go from super happy and buzzed and chatty to sobbing and hopeless within minutes. So, yes, I understand what you're saying. Frankly it sucks and no one should drink on these meds even though sometimes it's so damn hard to resist, especially if you're depressed, manic, or suffer from some kind of anxiety.

I tell myself it's all right if I drink alone at home, I won't hurt anyone that way. But I just end up hurting myself. 

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