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I guess I just don't have a normal brain


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so there was this movie my husband always liked, called "Awakenings" its about these catatonic patients in the '60's who were given l-dopa and "woke up" for a while. it has robin williams in it. anyways, we were watching again and I wondered whatever happened to the patients so I looked it up on the internet. well, it was really a fictionalized account of a true story, the doctor in the movie didn't actually exist. but it was still mostly a true story and the patients really existed and they really were given l-dopa and they really did wake up for while.

so apparetly telling my husband the truth behind this all hurt him somehow. he acted like i kicked his puppy. he said he didn't like the idea that this miracle never happened. he was so pissed. I did n;t even realized I said anything wrong. i still don't get it. so hes all pissed and how do I avoid saying something wrong and hurting someone's feelings when I don't even know what I said wrong. ;)

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I would have done the exact same thing. Maybe it's an ADD thing?

How about you tell your hubby that your research has shown that it DID happen, in scattered events, and it was indeed the every bit the miracle you saw on the screen, and the movie folks just brought all the wonderful stories together?

Tell him he should be thanking you for providing evidence that this all did really happen. Without the movie, those wonderful people who did wake up for a brief moment would never have had their amazing story told. The reality is even better than the movie.

lily

PS. I feel like one of the folks in Awakenings when I get on a med that works, then stops working. It's like wait! I don't want to go back! I want to stay awake! That movie is my favorite metaphor for this.

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Y'know, there are just lots of people who don't want to know what's behind the scenes. A friend of mine down the street had breast cancer a few years ago. I was all over the internet finding out all I could. She, however, didn't want to know. She wanted to trust that her doctor would give her the best treatment for her type of cancer. I *always* have to know. The trick is learning when to STFU. I haven't quite figured that part out yet. It's just incomprehensible to me that some folks don't want to know all they can about, well, anything.

Greeny

Trash Brain

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Well, I was led to believe the movie is based upon Oliver Sacks, neurologist:

Dr. Sacks on Awakenings:

Awakenings came from the most intense medical and human involvement I have even know, as I encountered, lived with, these patients in a Bronx hospital, some of whom had been transfixed, motionless, in a sort of trance, for decades. Migraine was still in the medical canon, but here I took off in all directions--with allegory, philosophy, poetry, you name it.

Awakenings Documentary

This 1974 Yorkshire Television documentary (never released in the United States) features interviews and dramatic footage of Dr. Sacks' original post-encephalitic patients who were awakened by L-dopa in the summer of 1969. The U.S. premiere was held as part of the Mead Film Festival at the American Museum of Natural History on July 22, 2000

Awakenings - The movie

Awakenings is the remarkable account of a group of patients who contracted sleeping-sickness during the great epidemic just after World War I. Frozen in a decades-long sleep, these men and women were given up as hopeless until 1969, when Dr. Sacks gave them the then-new drug L-DOPA, which had an astonishing, explosive, "awakening" effect. Dr. Sacks recounts the moving case histories of these individuals, the stories of their lives, and the extraordinary transformations they underwent with treatment. This book, which W. H. Auden called "a masterpiece," is a passionate exploration of the most general questions of health, disease, suffering, care, and the human condition.

The revised 1990 edition includes new essays on the making of several dramatic adaptations of Awakenings , including Harold Pinter's play, "A Kind of Alaska," and the feature film, "Awakenings," starring Robert De Niro and Robin Williams.

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I just never realized that he would get so upset. He is really interested in psychology so I just wanted to be able to talk to him.  and i know i speak without thinking a lot but geez i really thought this would be an interesting conversation. i didn't think I'd hurt his feelings or whatever.

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How did he get the idea that the "miracle" never happened? From what I recall from Oliver Sacks (that guy does get around), it really was quite amazing.

BTW, anyone read his essay recently including a bit about patients who live at a different rate than the rest of us? One patient who takes 15 minutes to wipe his nose, another whom you can't play catch with because the ball comes back before you can react. One poor guy at two different rates at the same time.

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so there was this movie my husband always liked, called "Awakenings" its about these catatonic patients in the '60's who were given l-dopa and "woke up" for a while. it has robin williams in it. anyways, we were watching again and I wondered whatever happened to the patients so I looked it up on the internet. well, it was really a fictionalized account of a true story, the doctor in the movie didn't actually exist. but it was still mostly a true story and the patients really existed and they really were given l-dopa and they really did wake up for while.

so apparetly telling my husband the truth behind this all hurt him somehow. he acted like i kicked his puppy. he said he didn't like the idea that this miracle never happened. he was so pissed. I did n;t even realized I said anything wrong. i still don't get it. so hes all pissed and how do I avoid saying something wrong and hurting someone's feelings when I don't even know what I said wrong. ;)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sounds to me like ya'll were just on completely different waves. That he didn't understand your intent in sharing your research.

Or maybe it so totally bummed him out he blamed you, in that case, that's his hassle and he can keep it OFF your wave. (in a nice way).

I HATE romantic comedies, because I know they are not representative of real life. I don't like having my emotions manipulated by Hollywood. Maybe he felt some of that. WHO KNOWS. You came from a good place. Did you talk later?

Love stinks.

In my single opinion.

S9

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I can see exactly where you're coming from.  I always have to taylor what I say to my husband and I never know what "nerve" I"m gonna hit to piss him off.  It's a toss of the coin to which one of us has the "normal" brain at our house. WTF!  Ha.  P.S.  I spend much time avoiding watching TV - even the stuff I KNOW is not real disturbs me, talk about a non-normal brain, I get major freaked out from simple monster movies.  Kris

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its so frustrating never knowing what I am going to say that sets him off. it always starts out sounding perfectly normal until he points out how bad it sounded to the other 99.9% of the population. I feel so stupid. like I am missing part of my brain that everone else has. he keeps telling me to think about what I am saying before I speak. that seems so impossible. like it would be so slow and take forever or something. i am just really frustrated.

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its so frustrating never knowing what I am going to say that sets him off. it always starts out sounding perfectly normal until he points out how bad it sounded to the other 99.9% of the population.
Do you get comments like this from other people? Or just him?
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Heya HaloGirl,

1.  Definitely a true story.  DeNiro spent a lot of time learning how to behave like the real Leonard.  I found it uncanny how they got Williams to resemble Sacks.

2.  For some people, based-on-a-true-story means "documentary."  Might have been easier for him if he'd seen the documentary, or read the book by Sacks, which is even more compelling.  Finding out something he believed in wasn't 100% "real," he felt hurt.

3.  Echo that:  Is it just him who tells you you're different from 99.9% of people?  Or have 99.9% of people told you that?

4.  I have a lot of trouble guessing how to say things.  I too always think everyone wants to know everything, b/c I do, so why wouldn't they?  But they don't.  Ugh.  So I (literally) bite my tongue, ow. 

Then go on CB and tell *you,* b/c either you guys want to know, or you'll ignore me, or you'll argue with me, and *any* of those is preferable to me somehow mysteriously hurting your feelings by telling you something interesting.

And blabla.

--ncc--

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its so frustrating never knowing what I am going to say that sets him off. it always starts out sounding perfectly normal until he points out how bad it sounded to the other 99.9% of the population. I feel so stupid. like I am missing part of my brain that everone else has. he keeps telling me to think about what I am saying before I speak. that seems so impossible. like it would be so slow and take forever or something. i am just really frustrated.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Halo,

Sorry if I went off in the wrong direction, posting the stuff about Oliver Sacks but the man is fascinating to me.

On topic: I ditto what others have asked, do your commments upset 99.9% of the poopulation or just your husband?

I used to never know what was going to set my SO off, and he has so many trigggers and gets angry very quickly. And when he gets angry, he takes it out on himself or throwing random shit. I get upset, the pets get upset, and the whole mood in the house is ugly. I have learned what many of his triggers are and I have learned that it is his problem to control his triggers not mine. Needless to say, I still have had to learn what to and what not to bring up in certain conversations just so I can not feel anxious. As for it being frustrating, for me that is an understatement. However, now I am learning to ignore how he is going to interpret something I say because I just want to be myself, dammit.

I tend to speak my mind without thinking first, or maybe I just spurt out comments because they come to mind so fast that I don't have time to tell my brain not to utter the words aloud. Maybe that is part of my ADD. Maybe your husband's way of speaking is to think through how it will sound before he says something but that doesn't mean it has to be your way. I don't think this means your way is wrong and I don't think it makes you stupid.

I had soemthing to say when I started this but I am not sure what it is anymore or if I said it.

Erika

PS IF hubby really likes psychology and liked the Awakening story, maybe he would like to read some on Sacks' books. The Man who Mistook his Wife for a Hat is a good one.

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. he keeps telling me to think about what I am saying before I speak. that seems so impossible. like it would

be so slow and take forever or something. i am just really frustrated.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Or you forget what you were going to say before you get a chance to say it; or the topic moves on and

now you're stuck with something you wanted to say but now no one seems to care.... Then it's "why are

you so quiet?"

Not to be such a downer, but you're right. It is frustrating.

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Heya Halo,

If DH watches House, watch out for The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat.

House stole the old-horny-lady-with-syphilis story from that book.

With that caveat, it's a very, very interesting book.

;)

PS.  What Trooper said.  I'm either a know-it-all bitch or unsocial.  This takes *so much* work.  So much.

--ncc--

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well we just spent the whole night fighting again about something else. I just want to scream. no matter what I do its wrong. I am just a total fuck up when it comes to communicating. It is the most evident when I am with my hubby, but it happens with others too. I kinda just want to give up and never talk again.

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