crumbleandglow Posted February 3, 2018 Share Posted February 3, 2018 (edited) Hello, everyone! I'm a long-time lurker and I have finally decided to introduce myself. I was diagnosed with Bipolar I with psychotic features 14 years ago; since then, I've weathered nasty manic episodes and mixed states, three hospitalizations, failed whole classes of drugs (over 50 meds, many tried multiple times). As it turns out, as I'm sure is the case for many of you, medication just doesn't work that well for me. I responded reasonably well on Lithobid (generic lithium does jack shit, go figure) for years, though recently it seems to have lost some of its efficacy (increasing the dosage just makes me violently ill) and some of the old neuroleptics (gave me bad EPS- Cogentin didn't help), but I'm always a little symptomatic, even at my most stable. Up until recently, I've coped with residual craziness (intrusive thoughts, excess energy, agitation) with cardio- long-distance running, swimming, kickboxing- and by dumping all of my energy into my full-time job (that I love) and school (I'm working on my MLIS part-time). I have a great psychiatrist who has really tried to come up with creative solutions, including off-label treatments. I was never resistant to the idea of meds; they have just failed me. I'm really here, though, because I am on SDI after a 6-month manic episode that began at the end of last summer and ended with me paranoid, delusional, sleepless, and broke (I'm sure this situation sounds familiar to many of you). After trying Vraylar, which actually seemed beneficial (brought me back to earth, thanks!) but gave me such bad dysphagia that I was waking in the middle of the night feeling like I was being waterboarded by my own saliva, my psychiatrist is pushing me to do a course of ECT. I actually had the Vraylar compounded out of desperation to see if the dysphagia was dose-related, but it was as bad at .25mg as it was at 1.5, and I can't go through life choking on food. I am sick and tired of the med-go-round and ready for ECT; I've combed PubMed for studies and read patient testimonials and after everything I've been through with medication, I honestly don't see how it can possibly be any worse. I hate not being able to work, I hate how selfish and self-involved I am when I'm unwell, I hate not being able to read. I hate that I had to drop out of school for the semester. At this point, I'm willing to try anything if there is even a small chance that I will be able to regain my independence. I have always liked this board for its raw honesty and sense of community. I'm going through an especially difficult time with this illness and I want to be around others who understand. I hope you will have me. Edited February 3, 2018 by crumbleandglow 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chichikova Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Welcome! I look forward to seeing your posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintalto Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Hello and welcome. I’ve been intrigued by ECT myself and have read a lot of positive things about it, but some of the experiences of people on this board have made me second guess that a little. There’s an ECT section on the board, I suggest you have a look. Not trying to influence your decision either way but it was reallly interesting for me to read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.thumb.jpg.fedab7a34947a1dd69135e802e0eccd4.jpg)
Recommended Posts