Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

So I met a guy who I really liked. We went on a few dates, then I ended up spending the night last night. Once I got home, he texted me and asked me what medications I took this morning, which I was honest. He said that hasn’t scared him away, but he has been distant and stopped texting me. I know the answer, but it just makes me depressed how stigmatized we are as a community and I wish I never spent the night with him. I’m sorry for the long rant. Anyone else experience anything similar while dating?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, looking for answers said:

what made him randomly ask about meds? and yeah there is a stigma. but the way i look at it is, if your scared by my meds, your're not right for me. But i know i have to be careful blurting things out becasue there is that stigma

I have absolutely no idea. He texted me that randomly. I don’t usually overshare or even share any of those details with someone that I haven’t been talking to that long but he kind of caught me off guard and I didn’t want to lie. I didn’t straight up tell him my diagnoses but I told him that they are for my mood and keep me going. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you only spent the night last night and he’s not been getting back to you today, it still could be that he’s busy and hasn’t had time to text or communicate. It might be premature to write the whole thing off quite yet. I know I’m terrible with my phone and getting back to people in a speedy manner.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 minutes ago, saintalto said:

If you only spent the night last night and he’s not been getting back to you today, it still could be that he’s busy and hasn’t had time to text or communicate. It might be premature to write the whole thing off quite yet. I know I’m terrible with my phone and getting back to people in a speedy manner.

Thanks! That makes me feel a bit better. I hope you’re right! But I suppose we’ll see.

Edited by JoJoBBY924
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hmm, that is an odd question. It could be pure curiosity, who knows. But still... it is an odd question.

I've reverted to online dating because I can put in my profile that I'm diagnosed with atypical bipolar/schizoaffective and people will know right away. If they have questions, they can ask. If it's too much for them, they can stay away. Besides, I'm terribly shy. I wasn't always like this, but I am now.

I think you responded well. There's no need to tell him your diagnosis when you don't know him all that well. 

Don't feel bad about him not texting you right back. Some people aren't always with their phones, have things come up in their lives, etc. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, saoirse said:

Hmm, that is an odd question. It could be pure curiosity, who knows. But still... it is an odd question.

I've reverted to online dating because I can put in my profile that I'm diagnosed with atypical bipolar/schizoaffective and people will know right away. If they have questions, they can ask. If it's too much for them, they can stay away. Besides, I'm terribly shy. I wasn't always like this, but I am now.

I think you responded well. There's no need to tell him your diagnosis when you don't know him all that well. 

Don't feel bad about him not texting you right back. Some people aren't always with their phones, have things come up in their lives, etc. 

I thought it was odd too. To be honest I kind of froze for a second. I wasn’t offended at all, but it just kind of caught me off guard because I’ve NEVER been asked that before by someone that I just met. He hasn’t texted me at all today so far, but I’m not planning on texting him either. I don’t want to seem to available to him, so I guess if he’s still interested then he can text me, and if not, then oh I guess he won’t.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I have the possibility of someone staying over I hide my meds. I'd have to be really confortable with them to take meds in front of them. I do think someone saw me shove meds in my face once. The relationship ended soon after. He never mentioned if he saw me taking meds tho. I was trying to do it whilst he was out the room. 

I'm' currently just at the beginning of a relationship of sorts. Well well see.  I'm lucky my meds I can take just once in the am. The other one melatonin I told him about cos it' not stigmatised. It' all a bit stressful if I'm honest. 

I hope he gets in contact with you. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think every girl I've dated has told me right up front what's going on...Girls are way more upfront I've found, guys are the one who stay hidden as long as they can...

I've never dumped/stopped talking to a girl because of meds anyways...most people in our society are on something...

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've had it go either way.  One thing someone said that has stuck with me, not in a good way, was "I don't know why you take meds I thought you were stronger than that."  As if resorting to medication was a sign of weakness.  That one still plays out in my head and I start thinking I should go off meds to be "strong."  Not a good thing to say.  But I've also had people who were supportive about getting help (tried to encourage it even).  Of course I didn't do what was recommended and continued to get crazier so that one ended. 

It is tough.  I struggle with whether to tell anyone in my life because I don't know how they'll take it.  But if you're looking to be in the long haul with someone, they probably need to know eventually so that if you do start having problems, they'll understand why.  And if they can't handle it, that's not a good quality in a potential mate anyways.  You're better off with someone who can be supportive. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 hours ago, sbdivemaster said:

Did he see you taking meds in the morning?  I'm not clear on how he knew, or was it just a guess?

I’m not sure if he saw me taking my night meds or my morning meds- He didn’t say and I didn’t ask because I didn’t want to reveal more about my meds than I had to, haha. He just said he saw me taking my meds and asked what they were and what they were for. 

27 minutes ago, quietly bonkers said:

I've had it go either way.  One thing someone said that has stuck with me, not in a good way, was "I don't know why you take meds I thought you were stronger than that."  As if resorting to medication was a sign of weakness.  That one still plays out in my head and I start thinking I should go off meds to be "strong."  Not a good thing to say.  But I've also had people who were supportive about getting help (tried to encourage it even).  Of course I didn't do what was recommended and continued to get crazier so that one ended. 

It is tough.  I struggle with whether to tell anyone in my life because I don't know how they'll take it.  But if you're looking to be in the long haul with someone, they probably need to know eventually so that if you do start having problems, they'll understand why.  And if they can't handle it, that's not a good quality in a potential mate anyways.  You're better off with someone who can be supportive. 

I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I can’t atand when people stigmatize us and call us weak for taking meds. If anything, it makes us stronger for having the courage to get the help that we need. I totally agree with you.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, sbdivemaster said:

While it's not something that happened to me, it has to do with dating and meds.

Probably 20 years ago, maybe more, my mother was seeing a man for a few years.  I met him a couple of times (we live on opposite coasts) and he was a nice guy, affable.  Then, she suddenly wasn't seeing him anymore.  I really don't have the type of relationship with my mother where I would normally ask, but I inquired as to why she was no longer with him.  She replied something along the lines, "Oh, he takes pills for depression."  At the time, I thought it was really, really strange for my mother to be so intolerant.

Well, fast forward several years to my own fall into depression, mania, depression, mania...  my mother's words rang in my head as the quacks began pushing the meds.  That stigma, and the stigma in general, influenced my resistance to medication and kept me from getting the help I needed for a long time. 

I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I’m glad you are now getting the help that you need. It’s sad how people don’t realize the impact they have on someone when they belittle someone for taking their meds. People don’t act this way with diabetes meds, and to me there is no difference between treating mental illness and treating a physical illness like diabetes. Both are dangerous, debilitating conditions when left untreated. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, BrianOCD said:

I think every girl I've dated has told me right up front what's going on...Girls are way more upfront I've found, guys are the one who stay hidden as long as they can...

I've never dumped/stopped talking to a girl because of meds anyways...most people in our society are on something...

Thank you for your help in breaking the stigma!! We need more people like you, haha . You’re right, a lot of people are strong enough nowadays to get help and take some sort of medication.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 hours ago, kittyloaf said:

The last time I was dating I told him right away as I didn't want to get emotionally invested if he was going to run off when he eventually found out. I've been rejected for my illness before and it sucks. Hopefully he's just busy right now though.

It really does suck being rejected for an illness. I didn’t tell him my official diagnoses yet and am still kind of afraid to, but at least now he knows I take meds. Him and I are texting now. So we’ll see how things go, haha . 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Similar Content

    • By troop111
      Hi,
      Have any of you had or have read of gabapentin being of use as an adjunctive therapy for people with treatment resistant depression/anxiety/bipolar?
      I have been doing research and some sources say it helps, others say there is no strong clinical proof. I think a lot of the conflicting reports I have seen has to do with it simply not being studied en mass.
      Any advice/experiences regarding this? If so, what was your dosing?
      Thank you!
      troop
    • By lauraishere
      .
    • By Isaiah2017
      I'm having a hell of a hard time and experiencing rather weird symptoms. Whether they've anything to do with Mirtazapine (Remeron) is something that I strongly feel but can't quite convince any doctor of.   I was put on 15 mg of it in spring 2015 for depression and a severe insomnia - I hadn't slept an hour like since 25 nights back then! The benefits showed immediately within a day and surprised myself and my family. I would sleep well and be in a very happy and cheerful mood.   Then however, from summer 2016 I developed some strange food intolerances; caffeine, sugar, fruits containing high amounts of fructose, yoghurt, butter and so on. Eating anything of that would cause me jitteriness and insomnia. I steered clear of those foods.   From autumn last year though, a lot of those food intolerances have relented and it changed into intolerance towards medicines and supplements that I was on; the thyroid medicine for hypothyroidism, Vitamin D, Calcium, Vitamin E and could never again tolerate any new medicine or supplement. Symptoms resulting from these are, again, jitters, insomnia and a strange kind of feeling of being struck on the head, like I can't hear anything and the thinking becomes very unclear and blurred. Coupled with this is a weird sensation that if a medicine has any potential side-effect (even physical, such as urine retention), I get it at all costs. So I'm steering clear of the culprits here too.   However, avoiding the culprits doesn't end my misery, it just helps in avoiding a whole new set of symptoms, because since autumn 2016 I'm under constant brainfog anyway, have heart palpitations immediately after every meal (but worst after breakfast), have concentration and focus issues, lead a life without any hobbies, wishes or desires. Nothing excites me, nothing interests me and nothing catches my attention. Leave tasks pending for months (the most unlike me habbit), have badly lost my sense of humour. My sense of humour was something that I literally used to pride on, and friends from around the world would call me to fresh up if they were having a dull day. My mind feels numb, although it isn´t as if it´s the sedating effect of the Mirtazapine because 90% percent of the nights I don´t sleep well, and on a lot of nights I feel as if I´m asleep with an awake mind!   The GP who put me on it considered it to be just the effects of anxiety and depression and recommended the doubling of the dose to 30 mg. When I contested that, given that I´ve my doubts of a lot of these issues being brought upon by Mirtazapine itself, she referred me to a psychiatrist. He too strongly denies of Mirtazapine having any hand to play on it and instead thinks it´ll be best to combine it with another antidepressant for day-time.   He put me on Paroxetine, boom, a flood of side-effects! Then changed to Fluoxetine (Prozac) - third day on it and having weird feelings. The heart poundings are one and is in fact making me very depressed and hopeless!
    • By Aeiou62
      I need some energy, some motivation, some good manic voodoo. Why cant i have that without losing my damn fool mind.?
      Hasnt anyone looked at that? Why must I be either lazy and lethargic or 90mph? Im always tired, always fatigued. I need to know how to get my mojo going WITHOUT my kookoo taging along every time. I cant believe nobody has studied this.
    • By braindeadbedhead
      This is a long shot, but I figure I can't be the only one who has ever had this thought. Is there a way to induce a state that includes the productivity/happiness of mania - without all the extra bullshit? 😅
      Mania is better than any drug, the euphoria is incomparable. Every time I skip a few days of sleep, feel an increase in energy, or anything that might be the beginning of an episode, I think - ''Please let this be the onset of the best feeling in the world. I can't do this shit anymore''. I feel so guilty admitting to that, because I know that being manic and being functional are generally not compatible. I also don't ever want to end up in hospital again, because that never fails to be a de-humanizing experience.
      I have not had any symptoms of mania since my last hospital admission, three whole years ago. It was the first and only manic episode that I've ever had, and it lasted for about three months. I feel like I could have avoided hospital completely if I had experienced mania without the accompanying psychosis. If I could just achieve that level of elation without:
      rapid speech word-salad delusional beliefs dangerously impulsive acts (e.g. jumping out of a car on the highway because the sky looked beautiful and I wanted a loser look) I look back on those ugly symptoms and I could never cope with them now. I go to college full-time, I work, and I have so much to lose if I lost the ability to communicate with others and behave safely. On the other hand - my life just feels so damn gray and stagnant; I miss feeling invincible. 
×
×
  • Create New...