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I'm not suicidal, but I wouldn't mind dying.


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4 hours ago, Gearhead said:

I agree that giving an SSRI to ambipolar patient without a mood stabilizer or an antipsychotic is unwise, and the kind of mistake a GP might make if seeing the BP patient during a depressed phase. Am I reading this right, and you became manic shortly after beginning the Zoloft? And your doc left you on it? Sigh.

I went utterly bugfuck on an SSRI way back at the beginning of my treatment. Couldn’t take any AD again until I was stabile on an AAP and a mood stabilizer.

Yeah it really sucks ass but I’m hoping to find a much better doctor/physiatrist who can help me better.

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@ReincarnatedCow was Zoloft the first and only med you've tried? For me, Zoloft was the first med I'd ever taken, was completely anxious, couldn't sleep for days, then went schizo delusional and ended up hospitalized. That was 20 years ago...no other med has done that to me since, could've just been a bizarre reaction, since  I had never had any meds in my system before? Anyhow, it's worth getting into a real psych doctor and trying something else!

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2 hours ago, Blahblah said:

@ReincarnatedCow was Zoloft the first and only med you've tried? For me, Zoloft was the first med I'd ever taken, was completely anxious, couldn't sleep for days, then went schizo delusional and ended up hospitalized. That was 20 years ago...no other med has done that to me since, could've just been a bizarre reaction, since  I had never had any meds in my system before? Anyhow, it's worth getting into a real psych doctor and trying something else!

Yeah Zoloft was the first thing I tried, I also tried lamictal but that did me no good. After I’m settled in after I move here in a few days I’ll see what I can do to get something useful.

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Some counties have emergency mental health numbers you can call if you're in crisis. Crisis doesn't mean you're in the middle of your mania but just knowing you can swing that way is often enough.  Usually the county website has info on it and they'll have an adult program separate from the child/teen one. If you can't get help any other way this could help you out.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I completely understand you.   I find a plan comforts me.  While I know I won’t initiate the plan I still feel more tethered and in control when I have one.  It took a long while to let my plan go.  As of now I have no plan and don’t feel I need one.  

Its still a serious matter.  Do you have a Tdoc you can talk this through with? Even if you don’t have intent it’s no to be taken lightly 

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