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Let me ask you all a question. I've got borderline personality disorder and as a result there are a lot of times I threaten suicide just to get attention. Now my boyfriend is so sick of hearing it, he tells me he wishes I would just do it. I told him that that's an awful thing to say to someone who's as depressed as I am but he says he doesn't care and that he hates my guts.

I feel very, very suicidal lately and I even woke up in the ICU two weeks ago after I took a whole bottle of Wellbutrin. I had a seizure. He's making things worse because I can't work, I have a major depression along with degenerative disc disease and he feels trapped in the relationship. I feel trapped too because I don't want to have to depend on him either.

I have a little girl who is nine months old and I want to be able to raise her. My ex has already taken my 11 year old away against court order and I'm trying to find him so I can see the son they've turned against me.

I'm just so mad because my whole family along with my boyfriend's family and my ex and his family hate me because I'm "crazy." I feel so alienated and no one cares.

Somebody please help me before I just lose touch completely. I'm just about to pick up a suitcase and go really far away where no one will ever find me because I just seem to hurt eveyone I come close to.

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(quote) "he doesn't care and that he hates my guts"

This bf sounds like a bastard who has no understanding of your MI.  I bet your family cares, but has a hard time relating.

Can you check into the hospital for a bit if you are feeling suicidal? It sounds like you need to get help immediately rather than packing a suitcase and running away somewhere (although I have had that feeling myself).

Maybe call a suicide hotline and ask advice?  All I can say is I feel for you and I hope you don't do anything rash.

Dee

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