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the past few days have been semi rough and then last night was horrible. the voices kept me from taking any PRNs until very late in the day, which means the whole day i just got battered. and then i didn't take my night meds until hours after i usually do.

they freak out on me when i think about taking anything, much less try.

i already took my morning meds and one dose of each of my PRNs. it wasn't helping, then after an hour or so it was...but now it's fading. i feel like i should take them again, but it's just so fucking hard. 

i need something. encouragement or support or motivation to overcome or something. all i'm hearing is poison and formaldehyding and awful things about myself. 

i'm tired. xx

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Sorry your brain is attacking you melli.  That sounds miserable.  I’ve had voices but not ones that interfere with meds fortunately.  I know it happens a lot thought.  Is there a way to separate them from you (like”my brain is trying to tell me these things but I don’t have to believe it”). I think that’s an ACT thing.  

Not a great solution.  Mostly just understanding.

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Oh melli dear friend, I'm so sorry this is going on. I know the struggle so well and I know this place of being battered and tattered from the voices and all their shit and, I also know that you can get through this. You've been through hell, and you're still here fighting this disease. You can keep fighting. I know you can, and I know that this struggle, while it'll prolly always be there, I believe in you and your ability to rise above the voices' collective shit and do what you need to do here. You know how to reach me if you need a chat, for motivation or support or anything else. Much love and I'm rooting for you and I'll always believe in you. You can do this. x

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You might try listening to some comedy.  George Carlin or Bill Hick's work always cheers me up.  It also gets me thinking about life in different ways.  They both dealt with many demons and it comes out in their routines.  

Also I find music very useful in combating my dark thoughts and blocking them out.  At least for a while.  I'm hooked on the new album by Linkin Park.  The lyrics are incredibly therapeutic. 

Exercise is great as well.  Although I haven't been doing it much lately.  I love to bike at night when nobody is out.  Listen to music and block out the world. 

Best wishes, you will get well. 

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