Depakote Rage

[Brian LeFevre]

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Edited June 23, 2020 by Brian LeFevre
Yes please

[Distorted Me]

You're fucking HILARIOUS dude!!!  Mother fucking psychiatrists and most doctors in general don't know shit (ask any nurse) and aren't worth the air they breathe.  I wasn't properly diagnosed bipolar until last fall because 2 different pdocs completely whiffed when I perfectly described to them a classic episode of hypomania I went through in 2015.  I never went manic, thankfully, and it was 100 times better than any drug, legal or not, that I have ever done and I've done A LOT of drugs in my time.  I'm still steaming mad about that bullshit.  Can you tell?  I mean, I gave them a fast ball right over the plate and they totally missed it.  How the hell does a head doctor miss a classic description of hypomania?  WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

I took Depakote last fall for about 5 weeks.  Over about 3 months, I tried 5 different meds and Depakote was the one I tolerated most.  It absolutely affected my mood which is already fairly gloomy with a quick temper sprinkled in.  My wife said I would be mumbling curse words all the time in the kitchen as I cooked dinner.  I noticed something but she said it was absolutely clear that it made me much more negative.  For me, that is never a good thing.  Based on my experience, the reaction you're having seems perfectly logical. 

Oh and I'm kind of like that on the road too, just not quite on your level. 

4 hours ago, Brian LeFevre said:

just pull-over and whisper it into my ear... let’s make it fun. At least I’ll respect you.

Goddamn that's awesome!  I can't stop laughing.  You sound like a more intense version of me in too many ways.  Just be careful out there brother.  Don't go to jail for some inbred moron because he lacks any common sense socially.  Find other ways to mess with them.

What I cannot stand is stupid ass drivers who have to get right the fuck up on my ass going down the road.  Why the hell do you have to get that close?  Are you flirting with me or something because I don't do that shit, I'm happily married.  Actually, I've noticed that 95% of the time (yes I've done the math) it's females that do this and I'm sure it's because they're totally goddamn clueless as to what they're doing or who they're doing it to.  I absolutely could never drive for Uber or the like just because of this quirk I have.

What I need is a big bumper sticker that says something like "I'm bipolar. I'm usually angry. And I hate you."  I used to have one that said "If you're close enough to read this I'm going to kill you" but that wasn't a great idea for me and my wife insisted I remove it.  Good call actually.

[Distorted Me]

And I recently started back on Bupropion (Wellbutrin) at 150 mg to quit smoking but it's been absolutely amazing for my motivation.  Unfortunately I clearly have the "bupropion rage" as I've heard it termed.  It's not constantly but it's absolutely noticeable.  More reason to stay sober I guess.  But the motivation it gives me to get my ass of the couch and actually accomplish stuff, to me at least, outweighs that little side effect for the time being.

One last thing, sorry.  You might want to look into GABA supplements.  I just started taking them for alcohol withdrawal because my emotions were all over the place, even more than usual.  They really chilled me out and it's a real natural feeling not like prescriptions.  Anything that can chill me out is definitely not placebo effect.  Be careful with it though especially it you take 5-HTP along with it.  I took too many the other day and things got weird for a bit.  I think it's very possible to overdo it.  Just a suggestion.

Edited June 3, 2018 by Distorted Me

[notloki]

2 hours ago, Distorted Me said:

And I recently started back on Bupropion (Wellbutrin) at 150 mg to quit smoking but it's been absolutely amazing for my motivation.  Unfortunately I clearly have the "bupropion rage" as I've heard it termed.  It's not constantly but it's absolutely noticeable.  More reason to stay sober I guess.  But the motivation it gives me to get my ass of the couch and actually accomplish stuff, to me at least, outweighs that little side effect for the time being.

As Bupropion is a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor the increase of norepinephrine probably accounts for this "rage".   

[Distorted Me]

4 hours ago, notloki said:

As Bupropion is a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor the increase of norepinephrine probably accounts for this "rage".   

Yes, exactly.  Sort of a double-edged sword, if you will.  The motivation it gave me is just too great though.  I was going to have to work on my anger anyway and now, ironically, I have more motivation to accomplish that.

[Brian LeFevre]

On 6/2/2018 at 8:46 PM, Distorted Me said:

You're fucking HILARIOUS dude!!!  Mother fucking psychiatrists and most doctors in general don't know shit (ask any nurse) and aren't worth the air they breathe.  I wasn't properly diagnosed bipolar until last fall because 2 different pdocs completely whiffed when I perfectly described to them a classic episode of hypomania I went through in 2015.  I never went manic, thankfully, and it was 100 times better than any drug, legal or not, that I have ever done and I've done A LOT of drugs in my time.  I'm still steaming mad about that bullshit.  Can you tell?  I mean, I gave them a fast ball right over the plate and they totally missed it.  How the hell does a head doctor miss a classic description of hypomania?  WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

I took Depakote last fall for about 5 weeks.  Over about 3 months, I tried 5 different meds and Depakote was the one I tolerated most.  It absolutely affected my mood which is already fairly gloomy with a quick temper sprinkled in.  My wife said I would be mumbling curse words all the time in the kitchen as I cooked dinner.  I noticed something but she said it was absolutely clear that it made me much more negative.  For me, that is never a good thing.  Based on my experience, the reaction you're having seems perfectly logical. 

Oh and I'm kind of like that on the road too, just not quite on your level. 

Goddamn that's awesome!  I can't stop laughing.  You sound like a more intense version of me in too many ways.  Just be careful out there brother.  Don't go to jail for some inbred moron because he lacks any common sense socially.  Find other ways to mess with them.

What I cannot stand is stupid ass drivers who have to get right the fuck up on my ass going down the road.  Why the hell do you have to get that close?  Are you flirting with me or something because I don't do that shit, I'm happily married.  Actually, I've noticed that 95% of the time (yes I've done the math) it's females that do this and I'm sure it's because they're totally goddamn clueless as to what they're doing or who they're doing it to.  I absolutely could never drive for Uber or the like just because of this quirk I have.

What I need is a big bumper sticker that says something like "I'm bipolar. I'm usually angry. And I hate you."  I used to have one that said "If you're close enough to read this I'm going to kill you" but that wasn't a great idea for me and my wife insisted I remove it.  Good call actually.

..

Edited June 23, 2020 by Brian LeFevre
No, thank you. I’m trying to quit.

[Distorted Me]

Brian you should keep trying on the comic stuff.  You and I are not PC enough for most, but there's an audience out there for sure. You're like Bill Burr but with the MI comedy on top.  Great stuff!  Bill Burr is like my inner voice sometimes.  Watching him for an hour is like therapy.

I'm curious about your Wellbutrin stories but kinda scared too, ha.  I have to figure out if I want to stay on it much longer.  My temper is getting pretty bad.  If I had driven around anymore today I'd probably be in jail right now.  People just piss me off when they're assholes on the road.  They seriously do not realize who they are on the road with - fucking stupid!  I get my temper mostly from my dad's side but I'm part Japanese so it's a community effort. I'm sure he was bipolar too but didn't know it.  Yes, genetics are wonderful.  It's a new surprise every month.  I got the alcoholism gene from his side too...thanks dad!  Good times.

I would absolutely kill to feel like I did during that hypomanic month in 2015.  Seriously, that was so much better than any drug ever created by mankind.  I've done A LOT of drugs and this was wayyyyyyyyyyyyy better.  Even when it came back briefly later that year it was pretty awesome.  One of those times I remember just stepping out of my car and it hit me in the face.  I was like "Ohhhhhh...this is fucking wonderful!!!!"  giddy as can be.  I haven't gone full manic yet, thankfully, but it always a possibility.  Only had 2 breakdowns in 44 years that I know of.  The euphoria hasn't been there in awhile until very recently.  The one I'm in now has had it's fun moments and it ain't over yet.

Hey stay safe out there.  Be careful.  Sounds like you're in a tough patch right now but things will get better.  I'm pulling for you.

 

 

Edited June 5, 2018 by Distorted Me

[Brian LeFevre]

On 6/5/2018 at 4:29 PM, sbdivemaster said:

Never taken depakote, but I know the bipolar rage.  heh

I too was pissed about a quack who missed obvious signs of bipolar when diagnosing me with MDD, including venlafaxine making me very agitated.  While it didn't change my opinion of that quack, it did increase my understanding when I learned that it takes the average person with bipolar disorder 10 years and 3 doctors before getting the correct diagnosis of bipolar* and getting proper treatment for relief of the symptoms.

It's probably not much consolation, but it's par for the course.

 

*https://www.upi.com/Archives/1993/05/24/Unique-study-omanic-depression-has-disturbing-results/5453738216000/

These Doctors are just a little too lackadaisical in that area. No big deal, only human lives at stake here.