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Hi strangers

<-- those smilies are so cool

Been reading these forums for a couple of days now and thought, "Why not sign up?" so did. And it's really great reading so many things about the people here. It's almost a comfort. ?

So uh.. nice to meet you.

Like the tagline suggests for this forum "all flavors of dysfunction are welcome." Haha. It's great. Uh.. Wasn't sure if this is in the right/wrong place, feel free to move it [and sorry if it is]

I'm a little confused is all and thought maybe writing a bit on an internet forum might be of help, especially as some of the greatest advice can be found here. So I hope that there might be a few people out there who might understand these things and could shed some light? It would be greatly appreciated.

See.. It's been going on for about a year or so now, possibly longer I don't remember. But I have these conversations with people who aren't there. I've always told myself that it's a form of postive [or negative!] self-talk but I have no idea. They are these people who have been made up and have names and personalities [though I'm never sure of what they look like] and I'm quite confused about it. It's such a letdown when you realise that these people aren't real anymore.

I've been reading up a little about delusions. Is this considered a delusion? Quite a lot of the sites I've read about delusions give pretty much the same examples, so would anybody care to share their experiences with delusions? Or even if it's not, then.. anyone?!

Also, just lately, I've been having what is explained on the internet, as auditory hallucinations(?). It's quite scary how it matches. The things I hear aren't coming from inside the mind, they're coming from outside and so often it will say things I can't actually understand. Just then I get extremely confused and can't really figure out what sex the voice is! The first time I remember having had one of these was when I was 16, but didn't strike me as anything out of the ordinary. It scares the hell out of you because you wonder, "Have we got ghosts?! Talking ghosts?!"! or am I seriously hearing these things? Have I got a bug in my ear? A brain tumour?!

It's all just a little bit odd.

Other things I've noticed lately which have gotten worse are the lack of concentration, blanking out pretty much all the time when really trying to think or feeling like there's a block/barrier there. Or whenever I do start to answer a question, it comes out so.. bleh! Quick and short. Like they're thinking, "Is that it?!". Such short sentences, it's make you feel completely dumb when it feels like that's all you can come up with. The distraction is wore. If I do start to speak again, or answer a question, another thought will pop into my mind [usually something that the previous sentence reminds me of] and that's it, immediately I will forget what I was trying to say before. That is a real pain in the backside.

The doc will ask a question, it goes in one ear and out the other almost like you've not even listened. I find it very hard to stay focused on something. You will just stare at the person, lips moving, but words empty.

I know the best bit of advice someone could give is 'tell your doctor these things!'. No worries, I'm getting there, it just takes a few months or so to pluck up the courage.

But anyway, thank you so much if you read that lot, it's appreciated. & again, hello and hope you are all... uh... well?! ;)

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Guestxyz

Hi Funkyfolk.

You mentioned having conversations (?) with people who you have made up. But what does this mean to you ? Is it just fantasy, and do you have it under control and can you stop it at any time, or are these more (sub)personalities, consisting as something like a personality of it's own, just personalities like your very own and real personality, created by a disfunction of your brain ?

If it's not just fantasy, but the other thing I mentioned, it seems like psychotic experiences. There may also be some dissociation (DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER???) involved. THIS IS DEFINATELY SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

ALSO, YOU SAID: "I know the best bit of advice someone could give is 'tell your doctor these things!'. No worries, I'm getting there, it just takes a few months or so to pluck up the courage."

You also mentioned auditory hallucinations.

You have given us little information, but based on the information you gave me I'd VERY STRONGLY RECOMMEND (AND IF I WERE LESS POLITE, INSIST) that you get medical help as soon as possible. You're experiencing psychotic symptoms, based on what you wrote you're not fully psychotic, but these things tend to become a lot worse fast. Simply put: psychosis rots your brain. You will probably get cognitive and other brain damage. You may fully develop schizophrenia. Waiting a few months to make an appointment with a doctor is A VERY BAD IDEA. And the longer you are psychotic, the worse the prognosis.

I'm sure that where you live there are crisis services with pdocs, but I don't know if they would be prepared to consider your situation as a crisis. Sometimes, crisis has to mean aggressive or severely disfunctional behaviour, or acting out emotions very strongly. You could exaggerate things, but that's not exactly the perfect solution.

If a crisis intervention is not an option, I recommend that you make an appointment with a psychiatrist. I also think that you should talk to your GP about your symptoms and ask for medication that will help, to bridge the time till your appointment with your psychiatrist. Most GP's are reluctant to give antipsychotics, but try to convince him that for the sake of your health you really can't wait a month. Besides, the judgement of psychiatrists is not always better than that of a GP.

Usually, the main treatment of psychosis is not taking any substances that can cause psychosis, avoiding too much stress, and most important, taking an antipsychotic. Some socializing  (if it doesn't cause too much stress) may also be helpful. There are many antipsychotics, but I think that Risperdal is one of the better antipsychotics. It works on both dopamine and serotonin, while the older typical antispsychotics usually only work on dopamine. These chemicals are responsible for a great part of brain function, and it's my own personal insight that taking something that deals with both tends to be more succesful. As for the dosis, I think that you should take something that stops the psychotic symptoms completely, within a few days if possible. That doesn't make you healthy and I think you certainly shouldn't stop taking meds until your psychiatrist agrees.

Good luck.

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Just noticed this thread.

My psychosis usually starts with what I call my brain having conversations with itself. I'll start having conversations/listening in on conversations these voices are having in my head (yes in my head). The voices have their own distinct tones, which is how I know they're not my own thoughts, and what they say is completely distinct from the my thoughts. This sometimes progresses and I end up hearing the conversations outside my head.

My pdoc said they were hallucinations. 20mg Zyprexa and 200mg Thorazine seems to have it under control.

Don't know if this is similar to what you're experiencing though.

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Hi again. Thank you all so much for the replies, it's highly appreciated.

With the conversations, I guess they are more fantasy than anything else, though I do find it hard to stop them and they will usually start unwillingly.

It might just all be down to stress. It's funny how the past couple of weeks have been more stressful than normal, and the conversations/noises have happened more than usual. So I expect once everything calms down a bit more, things should get better.

& again, thank you all for your replies.

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hi funkyfolk,

Welcome to Crazyland.

What you describe are three symptoms of schizophrenia: hallucinations, delusions, and disorganized thought processes.

From schizophrenia.com:

"Delusions are firmly held erroneous beliefs due to distortions or exaggerations of reasoning and/or misinterpretations of perceptions or experiences. Delusions of being followed or watched are common, as are beliefs that comments, radio or TV programs, etc., are directing special messages directly to him/her.

Hallucinations are distortions or exaggerations of perception in any of the senses, although auditory hallucinations (

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Heh, positive. Thanks for your reply. One thing which doesn't make sense is that a lot of websites and even it's mentioned here is that schizophrenics are not aware of the delusions/hallucinations, wheras I am. There's always the confusion, but soon after you realise that these things you're experiencing are not real, then confusion again, repeat. The auditory hallucinations [if that's what you would even call them] have had their moments where you feel like you lose complete control, like it takes over for a while, though that's hard to explain..

Pretty scary stuff.

We'll see what happens anyway!

Thanks again ;)

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Positive here too....but that's probably because of my schizotypal personality.  I've got  a bit of psychosis and general fucked-up-ness.  I don't know though, I've always thought of schizophrenics as stark raving mad because of the stigma that is out there...which is sucky not true.

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