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DammitJanet

Is this normal

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My brother committed suicide last Friday. Yesterday was my first therapy appointment since. After leaving the pain was as bad as the day I found out he died as well as today. Is therapy supposed to make you feel worse??

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No, but if you could just get over something like that it would be a lot more worrisome than having it still hurt. I'm sorry for what your going through, and I know having patience is way easier said than done, but I would try to keep the faith in therapy as best u can. I wish you the best in recovering from this 

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Thanks both of you. Was hoping to hear otherwise, that maybe it’ll pass soon afterwards or something. One can hope. Half the time I feel like joining him. 

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I'm so sorry about your loss. Grief takes time. Of course, when you talk about it, you are going to feel bad especially this short time after. Give yourself a break and allow yourself time to grieve. It will get better in time.

 

Edited by jt07
Some crazy blip in the system caused it to post twice.
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21 minutes ago, jt07 said:

I'm so sorry about your loss. Grief takes time. Of course, when you talk about it, you are going to feel bad especially this short time after. Give yourself a break and allow yourself time to grieve. It will get better in time.

 

Thank you. We hadn’t talked in a long time and only after he passed my daughter told me he’d been asking about me. Wish he’d reached out to me. ? I would’ve but thought he hated me. Really hope the pain gets less cause I can’t take this level anymore. Thanks again. 

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Please forgive me. I just wanted to bump this once. I’m hoping someone, anyone has experienced the same as I did, or I don’t plan on returning to therapy. Maybe he’s not a great psychologist like I’ve kind of been suspecting. 

I’m still feeling suicidal very often, and have very little to live for. Ie, seriously, not one person gives a shot about me. I’m a complete loner with no friends and the family I do have—two left—do not care. 

I need to know if therapy is worthwhile if it made me feel worse. So bad I felt just as bad as the day I found out he did it. 

Sorry for the bump. Will never do it again. 

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It's the topic and the process of grieving that is making you feel worse..

I am so sorry you are going through this alone..you always have here..

When I was going through a traumatic life event and seeing a therapist I would leave feeling worse..

I was mourning the loss of a chunk of a piece of me in a sense..nothing like what you are going through..

Eventually it did get better..after time and a lot of emotions..

Please hold on..there's still life worth living..I can promise you that

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Thank you for all of your support. It’s been hell being so alone and never thought something could be this painful. I believe in reincarnation and would love to have the chance to possibly join him in a healthier family and be lifelong friends. 

Thank you so much for being here. And giving me hope that it could possibly get bless painful. 

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On 7/6/2018 at 11:16 AM, DammitJanet said:

My brother committed suicide last Friday. Yesterday was my first therapy appointment since. After leaving the pain was as bad as the day I found out he died as well as today. Is therapy supposed to make you feel worse??

I'm very sorry for your loss. My heart and condolences go out to you! <3

My therapist has told me that sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. It's because you have to face the things that you don't feel good about or that make you feel bad, but with time, you will learn to deal with them, accept them, and they will become part of who you are, if that makes any sense. Part of who we are is a sum of our past experiences and how we have accommodated them into our lives. If it doesn't kill is, it makes us stronger.

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11 minutes ago, mikl_pls said:

I'm very sorry for your loss. My heart and condolences go out to you! <3

My therapist has told me that sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. It's because you have to face the things that you don't feel good about or that make you feel bad, but with time, you will learn to deal with them, accept them, and they will become part of who you are, if that makes any sense. Part of who we are is a sum of our past experiences and how we have accommodated them into our lives. If it doesn't kill is, it makes us stronger.

I suppose that’s true. For some reason I didn’t think it would get worse. I thought for sure it would get a little better. I’m thinking about hospitalization if I don’t improve in a few days. Thanks so much I’ve missed you. 

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Thanks for your support. It’s now been three weeks. I cried nonstop for five days, and since then it’s gone from hours, and now down to jags here and there, and if I hear of or see a death on tv forget it. 

I went through a four day suicide period where I had cut up sheets fastened to the sprinkler system, told psychologist, he told me to hold on until the grief lessened. HA! Fucking idiot. But alas, I’m here. Psychiatrist isn’t too happy though. 

I don’t know why I didn’t think about it sooner but I’m desperately needing a group for this so I just searched and found one. Even though it’s right smack before my bedtime. I’m religious about bed hygiene. 

I don’t usually cry, and my poor dog hugged me through every bout, but shook like a leaf. Didn’t know what to do. Now she’s a pro. 

I’m still in a chemical depression as well, so trying yet again another AD. 

Just wanted you guys to know how incredibly grateful I was/am for the support you gave to me during the first/second most painful experience of my life. 

Thank you. 

Edited by DammitJanet

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Hi, Janet. Glad to hear from you.

To address your original question, yes, if you’re working through something hard, then therapy can make you feel much worse afterwards. It rips off scabs. 

You’ll get better, though. In time.

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10 minutes ago, Gearhead said:

Hi, Janet. Glad to hear from you.

To address your original question, yes, if you’re working through something hard, then therapy can make you feel much worse afterwards. It rips off scabs. 

You’ll get better, though. In time.

That’s good to know. He seems to be deliberately pulling crap just when I’m able to leave him out of the session this week. Trying to keep it going, so I could barely drive back home. Fortunately I found a suicide support group nearby. 

Thanks for letting me know. 

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In my experience therapy is for processing things, which resurfacing/reexamining can be as painful as the original event(s). 

Condolences on your loss. My best friend died similarly over seven years ago and I still find myself overcome with grief at times. It will likely take you significant time to process his death and his life and how you feel about everything. Try to be patient with yourself. xx 

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2 hours ago, mellifluous said:

In my experience therapy is for processing things, which resurfacing/reexamining can be as painful as the original event(s). 

Condolences on your loss. My best friend died similarly over seven years ago and I still find myself overcome with grief at times. It will likely take you significant time to process his death and his life and how you feel about everything. Try to be patient with yourself. xx 

Thank you. I’m sorry you had to endure the same. I was just hoping for some comfort when I went in, but I’ve now found a suicide survivors group so I’ll hopefully get help there. Thanks again. 

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I'm glad you hung in there. This place is a wonderful support. The people here are amazing.

One therapist told me, "Once the floodgates open, it's hard to stop them".

Are there any grief support groups near you? 

Hoping you find some peace and gentleness

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On 7/6/2018 at 9:16 AM, DammitJanet said:

Is therapy supposed to make you feel worse??

Through some of my sessions I have had to dig up pretty ugly things from my past. Some of it revealed to me that the wound was still fresh. Healing does take time. But you have to know the wound before you can dress it. This may be painful at first, take your time and heal little by little. Hopefully the pain calms. I am sorry you are having to go through this. 

Edit: the pain may be severe right now because you are taking steps to heal. That would have been a simpler answer.

Edited by Igobihim
Added a simpler answer
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