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Juniper29

“Everyone has mental health issues”

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This is what my oldest friend said to me when I finally tried to open up about the psychotic symptoms I’ve been experiencing. I didn’t know how to respond so I just said nothing.

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That's a bunch of crap, excuse my language. There is a big difference between occasional depression/anxiety (which I assume they were referencing) and having psychotic symptoms of a chronic illness.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

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What a shitty, insensitive thing to say.  I'm also sorry that happened.

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Very insensitive, indeed. Sorry that happened to you. That really sucks. I wouldn’t know how to react either. Especially on the spot.  

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Just had a similar experience with a friend who recently started therapy...and as such has pidgeonholed every person with mental illness into the same category...oh and thinks meds are evil 

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6 hours ago, kittyloaf said:

That's a bunch of crap, excuse my language. There is a big difference between occasional depression/anxiety (which I assume they were referencing) and having psychotic symptoms of a chronic illness.

I agree. And, having actual MDD and GAD (or one of the other types of anxiety) is very different from occasional depression or anxiety. This is often lost. MDD and GAD are real, diagnosable illnesses and no more normal than other disorders with psychosis or other features.

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Saying from the get go that you are not seeking validation of your illness nor its' treatment helps. Set some boundaries. Telling people what you want or need of them is a good way to put them more at ease and you are more likely to get your needs met. I doubt you intended to discuss AAD diagnosis, legitimacy, or treatment. That's what you have doctors for. People are made uncomfortable with the subject of mental illness due to their ignorance of the subject. Denying it exists is a common coping mechanism. 

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Thanks guys. I've been incredibly busy yesterday and today but I appreciate all your responses! I feel less alone now.

19 hours ago, Geek said:

I agree. And, having actual MDD and GAD (or one of the other types of anxiety) is very different from occasional depression or anxiety. This is often lost. MDD and GAD are real, diagnosable illnesses and no more normal than other disorders with psychosis or other features.

Absolutely. Another mom told me once that she had cured her "postpartum depression" (I am guessing self-diagnosed) by taking a walk every day. My PPD I couldn't get out of bed and felt no connection to my baby at all. People think it's all the same.

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My dad said something similar just a couple of hours ago. He tried claim that everyone, to some extent, has a personality disorder. We weren't talking about my mental health though.

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Sorry that happened. FWIW my dad told me "everyone hears voices but they don't run to doctors" huh?

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2 hours ago, confused said:

Sorry that happened. FWIW my dad told me "everyone hears voices but they don't run to doctors" huh?

Makes you wonder about the people saying these things, eh? Like, maybe they are having some real symptoms but there is excuse for not going to the doctor is "everyone experiences this".

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What nonsense!  "Everyone" does not experience the difficult symptoms you've been dealing with.  I'm sorry your friend said that to you.  I have a friend who thinks he understands my struggles and is in a place to give me advice about my MI because he has dealt with situational depression.  I appreciate his attempt to relate to me, but haven't had the heart to tell him it's not the same thing.

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On 8/15/2019 at 3:40 PM, confused said:

Sorry that happened. FWIW my dad told me "everyone hears voices but they don't run to doctors" huh?

Makes you wonder what goes on in his head, doesn’t it?

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In the most literal sense I think that quote is a true statement. This was not the way it was used in this case or a way I can even remember hearing someone use it.

The part I agree with is that like physical health, mental health is something that affects everyone. With physical health most people have a decent frame of reference for the different types of poor health. The common cold is not the same as tuberculosis or diabetes. Sore muscles are not the same as a broken bone. Being physically somewhat out of shape is not the same as a heart attack. I think people generally understand how those things vary in terms of severity, whether they are acute or chronic, and that they need different types of treatment. I don't think that same understanding generally exists for mental health. Mental health has its own set of common ailments like stress, low self-esteem, grief, etc and I think pretty much everyone experiences some of those. I think it would be reasonable for the example mom to say that she had the mental health equivalent of pulled muscles and that walking was really helpful. That's useful for people who have a similar type of unwellness but if she had a better framework for the topic she might understand that it wasn't as relevant for people who have a specific mental illness (though some people are bad about this with physical health as well)

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A bit insensitive but I'm not sure what a sane person looks like and I don't think I've ever met one. Most people could probably be diagnosed with Normal Personality Disorder, which makes them have an irrational idea of reality. But since most people share the same disorder it's accepted as normal.

But yeah, shit thing to say. That how old classic "It's all in your head" is also true in a way, but not in the way they mean it. It is of course in your head, rather than your knee. Where else would it be and how is saying that helpful?

 

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On August 30, 2019 at 10:46 AM, Ion said:

In the most literal sense I think that quote is a true statement. This was not the way it was used in this case or a way I can even remember hearing someone use it.

The part I agree with is that like physical health, mental health is something that affects everyone. With physical health most people have a decent frame of reference for the different types of poor health. The common cold is not the same as tuberculosis or diabetes. Sore muscles are not the same as a broken bone. Being physically somewhat out of shape is not the same as a heart attack. I think people generally understand how those things vary in terms of severity, whether they are acute or chronic, and that they need different types of treatment. I don't think that same understanding generally exists for mental health. Mental health has its own set of common ailments like stress, low self-esteem, grief, etc and I think pretty much everyone experiences some of those. I think it would be reasonable for the example mom to say that she had the mental health equivalent of pulled muscles and that walking was really helpful. That's useful for people who have a similar type of unwellness but if she had a better framework for the topic she might understand that it wasn't as relevant for people who have a specific mental illness (though some people are bad about this with physical health as well)

Very true and well said.

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