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Burnt bridges

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I used to be even more sensitive than I am now, and I didn't realize that it's important to not burn bridges.  Consequently there are a number of people who, for whatever reason, I sort of stopped talking to and/or avoid.  I'm so embarassed about this--but sometimes if someone I knew casually hurt my feelings, I wouldn't really acknowledge them next time I saw them.

This makes me feel terrible because I live in a smallish city where I bump into these people every now and again.  It makes me bummed out because when I see one of these people it makes me remember mistakes and bad feelings from my past.  Now that I'm a little older, I try to be more forgiving of others and also slowly create distance from someone I don't want to be close to rather than cutting them out of my life completely. 

This also makes me embarassed when I meet new people because I don't have as many friends as one might be expected to have for having lived in the same place for as long as I have.  I realize that the reason why others probably have more friends is that they are 1. very forgiving 2. have been building relationships and gaining friends over a long period of time.

I'm embarassed because I am afraid new people I meet will think, what's wrong with this girl--why doesn't she have more friends?  But the truth is, I used to have a lot of issues and self esteem problems that caused me to cut people off.

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Ditto to everything you said. I was the same way. But, you live and learn and behave better when you know better. You can build better relationships from here on out. If you would like to reconnect with those you left, tell them honestly why you left. If they've done some growing up too, they'll forgive you. To a certain extent I think we've all been there.

As far as new people thinking  "What's wrong with this girl - Why doesn't she have more friends?", well I wouldn't worry too much about what new people think about you. They have no right to judge you. They don't even know you.


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