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Judgmental mother


devon00

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Is your mother judgemental in other areas too? its interesting that both examples you gave had to do with dropping out. as i was reading it, i wondered if your mother or anyone close to her had finished or dropped out of school. is there something about this topic she is sensitive about?

( not exsusing being judgemental- just wondering if there's more to it?)

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I like mrsloony's response. What do you think?

Also, it seems that while maybe your mom judges without thinking things through, you do spend a lot of time, look at both sides, and (most importantly!) ask the other person, find out why they dropped out.

So it sounds to me like you're very aware that you don't want to judge, and go to lengths to ensure that you don't. The very fact that your mom's behavior is so noticeable to you suggests that you're not judgmental--if you were, you'd just agree with her and not give it a second thought.

I'm sure you have many of your mom's nicer traits. Remember, you're not programmed to get this one bad trait, just because she has it!

lily

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Is your mother judgemental in other areas too? its interesting that both examples you gave had to do with dropping out. as i was reading it, i wondered if your mother or anyone close to her had finished or dropped out of school. is there something about this topic she is sensitive about?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, I do think she's extra sensitive about education, because usually these putdowns are aimed toward the children of families that were well-to-do.  I think my mother feels that even though we were poor, we were educated (and in fact, my brother and sister both became extremely successful) so in her mind, she feels that although she couldn't provide for us very well, she pushed us to gain an education, whereas in other families, the kids who were given more became "lazy."

She is also judgmental in other areas, but I think this is a *particular* sore point for her.

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I think everyone has judgmental "moments" but the fact that you are very aware/sensitive to being judgmental probably puts you one step ahead of the game ; ) I agree that you should not automatically consider yourself as a judgmental person just because your mom might be on certain issues...and be careful not to go to the opposite extreme and hold no opinions on anything for fear of judging somebody, know what I mean?

~Faith

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