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Pissed in general


ehygon

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I've been off meds for about a month now. And for the best part of said month, I've had incredible rage.

I mean like, everyone around me is wasting my time, they only talk shit I don't want to hear, and it makes me furious to be around them. I can't make myself do it, I have to keep moving, and stop listening, or else I'm probably going to assault someone. It actually pains me to stay still. I'm in an "I'm right, you're wasting time by not doing what I know is right, and you're annoying the shit out of me" mood, and it's been bad for a while.

I want to kill people, but I won't, because I've got amazingh self control. Which will definitely be used against me if I did bring this up with the pdoc. As long as I don't act on things, he's not concerned. He seems more concerned with having me behave, than having me get better.

I feel like taking up smoking again, just to pacify myself. But I won't, because I've done it so many times before, and I don't feel I should have to just so I can get along with people.

17 days til next appointment, lets hope I make it ;)

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I've been off meds for about a month now. And for the best part of said month, I've had incredible rage.

I mean like, everyone around me is wasting my time, they only talk shit I don't want to hear, and it makes me furious to be around them. I can't make myself do it, I have to keep moving, and stop listening, or else I'm probably going to assault someone. It actually pains me to stay still. I'm in an "I'm right, you're wasting time by not doing what I know is right, and you're annoying the shit out of me" mood, and it's been bad for a while.

I want to kill people, but I won't, because I've got amazingh self control. Which will definitely be used against me if I did bring this up with the pdoc. As long as I don't act on things, he's not concerned. He seems more concerned with having me behave, than having me get better.

I feel like taking up smoking again, just to pacify myself. But I won't, because I've done it so many times before, and I don't feel I should have to just so I can get along with people.

17 days til next appointment, lets hope I make it ;)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ehygon I remember being in a place like that back when I went off my lexapro.

I thru my laptop at the wall.  seeing the busted pieces all over the floor was moentarily satisfying but ultimately a very bad idea (as it was my office laptop and not only did I have to beg for a replacement I lost all of my files)

Anyways, for the next 17 days find something destructive but harmless. Break pencils. get some of those little bouncy superballs and hurl them at the wall. get dishes/glasses from the dollar store with the express purpose of breaking them. get a voodoo doll and stick lots and lots of pins in it. rip its head off.

let it out, but in a safe manner. thats what helped me get through until I had a med change. Take care and keep up updated.

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oh, it's getting even better now. I was really depressed for about a week, and now I'm swinging up into a "high." My doctor doesn't like to use medical words, he thinks I'm stupid ;) But yeah, I'm all, "I WANNA FUCK" as of today. Its definitely going to get higher, hopefully I'll at least get some work done.

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I have nothing valuable to add...

I've smoked for a long while to calm my rage... i stopped smoking, the rage became greater... i started pills for my depression/anxiety issues and the rage became even greater...

I've decided the rage is good, it let's us know we're human... as long as you can ensure you don't assault any ppl then try and deal with it for now... the only other choice is to medicate yourself to be blah.... you choose...

Juz

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