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non-medicinal ways to help sexual functioning?


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I can already guess what some of the answers might be, so let me just say that I don't like the sexist overtones of most porn/erotica so if you're going to suggest something along those lines keep that in mind.

actually i had 0 ideas when i opened this thread.

i did, however, write a research paper on feminist porn...

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I can already guess what some of the answers might be, so let me just say that I don't like the sexist overtones of most porn/erotica so if you're going to suggest something along those lines keep that in mind.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So I take it a subscription to _Instigator_ is right out, then.

We *are* talking about someone with the standard XX equipment that's been bodgered by an SSRI, right?

Is there anything else that's a no-go other than porn? Do you have one or more partners-in-crime,

or is this a solo affair?  It's easier to make useful suggestions if the relevant info is available up-front.

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We *are* talking about someone with the standard XX equipment that's been bodgered by an SSRI, right?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes.

I have a boyfriend who I basically can't have sex with.  On the rare occassion that I can , I get so worked up that I orgasm after 30 seconds, and seeing as how he doesn't have a problem with premature ejaculation it doesn't work very well.  It's like all the suppressed sexually comes flooding out at once.  I don't have experience experimenting with different ways of enhancing sexuality except for some porn.  I don't mind erotica based suggestions.  I guess if someone has "feminist" or whatever kind of suggestions that would be what I'm looking for.  Not mainstream crap.

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well, following the andrea dworkin "all porn is rape" bonanza, a few women who were porn stars made enough money to start writing/directing and even producing their own movies.  a lot of woman friendly porn is genuine lesbian porn (as opposed to two straight women with 3" fake nails going at it for a male audience,) some of it is educational (how to mastrubate, where is your g-spot, etc.) but some of it is what is now thought of as "couple's porn."  couple's porn can be "hard core" with penetration shorts or it can be still  x rated but without the zoom in on that whole omg the penetration is occuring thing. 

in general, in "couple's porn" the woman (supposedly) has a real orgasam, the men look slightly less like apes, and there's usually not a "money shot." 

candida royalle (porn star turned nurse/sex educator turned director turned owner of her own production company) produces a like of movies under femme productions that are released by adam and eve.  (she also makes a pretty cool line of vibrators as a side note.)  the videos vary in production value and cheese factor... but they aren't degrading.  (the earlier ones are actually somewhat overly zealous in being go woman power etc.)

in terms of woman and "porn" though, i think that a lot of women prefer to read their porn than watch it.  (heh.  like in that episode of friends where joey finds rachel's romance novel.  i can't beleive i just mae a friends refrence.)  anyway, susie bright edits a yearly volume of the "best american erotica" and also writes about porn, sex, etc.  (she even reviews porn in some of her books.)

i happen to fall in the group of women who prefers my porn on paper.  but visuals can be nice if they don't involve all that cheesy music and cum all over the place. 

there was a lot more historical stuff in the paper that i can't remember and isn't all that interesting to a broad audience.  but basically, the porn chicks to turn to for info are candida royalle and susie bright.  and annie sprinkle if your looking for the weird angle on feminist porn.

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We *are* talking about someone with the standard XX equipment that's been bodgered by an SSRI, right?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes.

I have a boyfriend who I basically can't have sex with.  On the rare occassion that I can , I get so worked up that I orgasm after 30 seconds, and seeing as how he doesn't have a problem with premature ejaculation it doesn't work very well.  It's like all the suppressed sexually comes flooding out at once.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hm. Ideally then, it might be better to "get off" at the first and then work towards a mutual

completion over the course of the evening. In that case, any of a number of means of stimulation

could be used without penile penetration. (No sense in frustrating your partner with coitus

interruptus) As a wise person once put it, "I can see ten fingers and a tongue from here.

All the rest is gravy"  Afterwords, there's the balancing act between bringing your emotional

levels up while keeping his in check... This is where the Kama Sutra is usually suggested

as a reference .

I've seen some sugestions that hypnosis or conditioning techniques could be used to render various

parts of the body far more sensitive as a compensation  or to train someone to a more controlled

expression of their sexuality. At this point though, it's not erotica but serious kink that is involved.

I don't have experience experimenting with different ways of enhancing sexuality except for some porn.  I don't mind erotica based suggestions.  I guess if someone has "feminist" or whatever kind of suggestions that would be what I'm looking for.  Not mainstream crap.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Those would be good starting points. It always helps to learn what could excite you before diving

in. There's so much more to sexual expression than "Insert Tab A into Slot B. Repeat as needed."

Some of it can be unexpectedly whimsical and  some dangerously dark.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I've witnessed the efectiveness of those buzzing gadgets. Would work for partner when nothing else would. Might be good "practice", as well as worthwhile. Have other style of equipment, so doesn't work for me.

I also wonder if weight loss, fitness etc. is as helpful for women as it's supposed to be for men.

Prolonged physical proximity might help. Or go out dancing. (Not necessarily in a club or something, just any kind of dancing that puts you close to your partner most of the time.) Don't have statistical basis for this, but personal experience and anecdotes I've heard support it. Might drive your partner a bit nuts, tho, in some cases.

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