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some background. I grew up poor and most of my memories are from the housing crash of 2008. So i grew up eating meager meals in a crappy neighborhood and wearing clothes until they wore out.  After the housing crisis and i was in middleschool my parents got divorced and i lived with my mom. We were even more poor, so much so that we couldnt pay utilities sometimes. My dad was so poor that he was homeless for a year and lived with a friend for another year before he got a duplex apartment. Now my mom is married to a rich man with a rich mom and a rich family and im living in a nice middle class house with a middle class zip code. so why do i feel so guilty whenever i get something from my mom or when she buys me things i need? I went school clothes shopping yesterday and i was filled with gut wrenching guilt every time i would look at the prices for my clothes. when my mom said she spent 400 dollars in all for me and my siblings it made me feel even worse. nothing was really expensive by any means but any dollar spent on me makes me feel like im terrible and vain and shouldnt need anything. Even though thats not true. Ive been walking around with one pair of jeans and sneakers with holes in them because im too scared to ask for new ones. it really sucks because my parents are really understanding and great. dose anyone else who grew up poor feel this way? just asking to make sure im not crazy//

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Your not crazy.  Don't refer to yourself that way, it's the worst label of them all.

I grew up in an upper class community, but poor.  So my view of the world was skewed as soon as I could comprehend reality.  

I am still relatively poor and rely on ssdi.  I am working again part time, but I still don't have the money to buy things I don't need or save for a "retirement" that will probably never happen. 

I hate to ask for financial help from my family.  About 6 months ago I broke a molar and suffered with the pain for several months.  I didn't have the money to get it pulled, and my sister paid for it to be removed.  It made me feel worthless to take her help, but I couldn't take the pain anymore.  

I am paying her back as I can, but I feel pathetic for not being able to to take care of the problem myself.  I don't even want to talk to my sister till I have paid her back.  It's a guilt trip for sure. 

 

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Do you feel like you don't deserve nice things?

It sounds like you grew up learning frugality out of necessity.  When you were a kid it wasn't that having nice things was bad, it was that you just couldn't afford them.  It's understandable that having nice things given to you from your parents now seems odd.  Here's the way I look at money things.  It's ok as long as you are living within your means.  It's ok not to buy nice clothes if you don't have the money for it.  It's ok to buy a new Mercedes every year if you are rich.  As long as you don't have an attitude of greed or entitlement, you're ok.  If your mom can afford to give you things, I would accept them with gratitude.  She loves you and that's one way she shows her love.  You can have nice things and still be an amazing humble individual.  I know many people who are very wealthy but they are awesome people.  Your money and things don't define you one way or another.  Shoes with holes do not define you, nor would brand new shoes.

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