Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Sign in to follow this  
HowlingWolf

Living with my aunt - kindness to serious trouble

Recommended Posts

I've posted on the relationships board about my recent break up. I had to take my son and leave. The only family I have in that state was my mom, who was also living with my aunt. I felt at the time, that it was not a good place for us. My mom and I do not get along at all, living under the same roof. My dad and I have a bad relationship. Actually, we don't really talk and he has 2 toddlers and an infant. So, not a good place for us either. I called my aunt, who've I've always trusted and told her what was happening (about the breakup, but not everything that was happening in my relationship). She paid for me and my son to fly to her state and live with her while I get on my feet. At first, it was not so bad. Her daughter (whom I'm extremely close to and was raised with) was visiting from Germany. I would have gone to live with her if she lived in the U.S., but I am not able to go to Germany with her. Anyway, my aunt was ok then. She acted... like an aunt and someone in grandparent mode because her daughter has 2 kids. When she left, everything gradually changed. Her husband also went to another state where they have an additional property that needed work. So that was a couple months ago. I really hope that a large part of her problem, is her husband being away for so long. 

I met a new guy and started to date. She babysits when I go and see him. However, she quickly did not like my late night home returns despite I have no problem getting up the next morning with my son. Anyway, she wanted to put an 11pm curfew on me because she felt I wasn't getting enough sleep. My grandparents were very upset with her for that one, and it didn't last. She even apologized for it. That's an example of how she started becoming controlling and treating me like a child. However, I agreed to the curfew without arguing. I've been agreeing to everything she said because we need a place to stay for a bit. Anyway, she's been getting very close with my son. Spending time with him, disciplining him, working with him to learn new things, etc. She's become more adamant about doing it, rather than waiting for me to reach out for help. One day, after I helped her do some cleaning, she sat me down... and out of the blue began to yell at me. I did nothing to instigate this. I gave her no reason to yell at me when I've always agreed to whatever she said even if I did not see eye to eye with her. She yelled at me for my way of parenting my son. I've always taken her advice, even if I didn't want to, and did not express much disagreement on it. I did it. So, for her to suddenly start yelling shocked me beyond belief. It wasn't necessary, and it made me no longer roll over. I was not about to allow myself to be treated like that. However, I told her I hear her concern. I know she cares. I agree that there are issues, but that I did not agree with her methods. She flipped her shit. Her exact words were "You ARE going to do it THIS way." So, that was fucked up. I told her no, and that I should have a say in how I raise MY son. She proceeded to tell me that if I wanted her to babysit, I would have to earn my hours. For every hour I took him somewhere she would babysit him for an hour. I told her that was ridiculous and I refused to play that stupid game. That first of all, if she felt I didn't do enough with him, all she had to do was say that and I'd work on it. Second of all, I told her that her standards are not the same as mine, and i do not believe I must entertain him constantly (he is 4) or take him places every single day. She hates seeing him play with his toys alone. He is an only child. I did it all the time. I grew up an only child. Our parenting is different and that doesn't make it wrong. I have no problem hearing her out. Never have. So this was too much for me. She then went on to tell me that I cannot let my grandparents babysit him unless it was for work. They are 80 years old, though they do tell me they will be happy to babysit. I feel that this should be between them and me and I've told her that I would never leave him there for a long time. No more than a few hours. However, during this argument, she felt the need to remind me as she has previously done almost every day. My response was "Many, many, many times you told me this, and many, many, many times I told you I wouldn't do that" and she replied "I'm done with you" and stormed off.

Since we've talked like nothing happened for the most part. She mentioned she thinks we are toxic to each other (no fucking idea wtf I did to her other than my depression). My depression bothers her. A lot. She does not understand it at all. Completely clueless. She's a go, go go, type of person and I'm severely depressed. It's obvious, it rubs off on her. Whoever I live with, it has that effect. She keeps saying she wants to fix me, and all I want is for her to leave me the fuck alone at this point. I want out asap, but I cannot afford it with my part time job. My friend and boyfriend both are convinced she is going to try and take my son. She has also told me I act like a child. She's been very controlling, getting very close to him. She's been gone one night to go see her husband and she's asking me to call her so she can talk to my son. I'm all kinds of pissed, paranoid, and extremely distraught. 

 

Any advice on how to handle this situation? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...