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My Ex just informed me he got someone pregnant


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I guess the title says it all.  This is the second time I've ended a long term relationship, and less than six months later my ex knocks someone up.  Obviously neither of them are having any problem moving on, which is a direct blow to my self-esteem and how much the relationships meant to them.

Ex #2 is a little different than #1.  Of all people, I'M the FIRST one he calls, because he "doesn't know who to talk to."  I knew even before he said anything.  I said, "You're pregnant."  I talked to him and listened for as long as I could, but the sick, sinking feeling in the bottom of stomach was getting so powerful I finally told him I had to go.

Why am I feeling selfishly bad for myself?  I can't seem to find the words or the reasons.

And I'm supposed to be on vacation, out of state, but he had to call and tell me anyways. 

And my dog just died.  On Saturday.  When I was out of town.

As the ball keeps dropping, I look up for the mack truck of more bad news to flatten me completely.

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I guess the title says it all.  This is the second time I've ended a long term relationship, and less than six months later my ex knocks someone up.  Obviously neither of them are having any problem moving on, which is a direct blow to my self-esteem and how much the relationships meant to them.

Ex #2 is a little different than #1.  Of all people, I'M the FIRST one he calls, because he "doesn't know who to talk to."  I knew even before he said anything.  I said, "You're pregnant."  I talked to him and listened for as long as I could, but the sick, sinking feeling in the bottom of stomach was getting so powerful I finally told him I had to go.

Why am I feeling selfishly bad for myself?  I can't seem to find the words or the reasons.

And I'm supposed to be on vacation, out of state, but he had to call and tell me anyways. 

And my dog just died.  On Saturday.  When I was out of town.

As the ball keeps dropping, I look up for the mack truck of more bad news to flatten me completely.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You ended the relationships for a reason, right?  The fact that they moved on and got someone pregnant speaks more to their stupidity than anything do to with you.  If they didn't spend years in mental anguish due to their loss of an incredible woman, they aren't too bright.

Feeling bad for yourself isn't selfish.  This was a pretty crappy thing to do to you.  I can understand the problem of identifying the reason you feel bad.  When something on this level of love crappiness happens to me, I don't really know how to express it, even to myself.  It just feels like someone has punched me in the stomach and they keep doing it over and over.

Hopefully the truck of bad news broke down and is unable to keep your appointment.  I used to work in the trucking arena and Macks were pretty unreliable.  And when they broke down, it took forever to get parts.  So, chances are, it won't get fixed until you're back home and by then it will be too late.

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Of all people, I'M the FIRST one he calls, because he "doesn't know who to talk to.

Fuuuuuuuuuck that!  He needs to get another support system and you need to cut him off.  I always try to be friends and it NEVER works.  Let me be more specific - fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck him!

And so, so, so, so, SO sorry to hear about your dog!  (sniff, sniff) My family has lost 3 dogs over the years and each time it was traumatic.  (sniff, sniff)

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Yes, it was his own stupidity, which I pointed out.  Hey, I listen, but I'm at least honest.  Unfortunately, as he was speaking I, being one cynical woman about the entire race of females, had to point out that the girl he's dating just trapped him by purposely getting pregnant.  I've seen it firsthand (um, not me) and I know the signs.  Too bad he told her he didn't think it was working out and she said, "We have a bigger problem."

I want to say, "You know what, fuck you and your conniving broad, that's what you get."  But that's not me ;) and I do know that he really doesn't have anyone else to talk to.

It's ironic how that new Madonna song keeps playing "I don't want to hear.  I don't wanna know.  Please don't say you're sorry.  I've seen it all before and I can't take it anymore.  Don't explain yourself cuz talk is cheap.  I guess I've made it so convenient.  Don't explain yourself, you'll never see.  Sorry."

Yeah, last time I was on vacation this happened, too.  It's a conspiracy.

I hate hate HATE to see other people in pain.  I wish I could turn off my empathy, but I left my flower essences at home.

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I hate hate HATE to see other people in pain.  I wish I could turn off my empathy, but I left my flower essences at home.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I wish you could turn off your empathy for awhile and let yourself hate the jerk, but I know that it doesn't work like that.  I hate it when someone screws me over and I feel sorry for them.  However, I would rather be empathic and caring than be an cold heartless bastard.  Guess that's the price you pay for being a good person.

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Nothing selfish about it, hon. Not at all. Why should you care more about him than yourself. His not having anyone to talk to is his problem not yours. Are you still trying to be his friend, or did he just call you up out of the blue. Because if it's the latter it would probably be in your best interest to tell him that you're moving on, without him. If you do wanna be friends with him, you must take into account that this new "problem" will be a big part of ya'lls friendship. Do you feel like dealing with all that crap? Just something to think about.

I'm sorry about your dog. May your mack truck throw a rod.

Croix

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We've been friends since we broke up, so it isn't like he just called out of nowhere.

Then last night I find out my kid got beat up at school.  Black eye, bruises, bloody nose.  And now I'm MAD.  It's probably better that I'm not there now, because dealing with this over the phone will be safer than if I have to go in there and threaten to sue the school. 

P.S.  He's not biologically mine, in case anyone was wondering how I had a 14 year old son.

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Your ex needs to learn the wonders of the latex condom. With the way he gets around and gets people knocked up, I'd suggest a whole body condom. Better yet, that all people avoid intimate contact with him- he's probably jumping with STDs!

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