I lost the remaining contact with the persons I knew some years ago because in a crisis I wrote them some stuff that was bottled inside.
Does anyone else lost all their friends because of your illness or since your illness, with a reason or without reason?
And what do you do now?
i have hated my dad for as long as i can remember. i hate him for many reasons. he has been verbally abusive towards me for my entire life, in the past he has denied that i have any mental illnesses, but now he does believe in them. however, he thinks i am the reason i have mental illnesses. i feel that i can not speak freely when i am around him. i have begun to have violent thoughts whenever i think about him.
Anyone here around the age of 40 and feeling totally isolated because everyone else your age has kids/families? My 20's were so different - you have college, parties, going out, other singles at work to meet and it's still considered OK to live with your parents. Your 30's are a time where you still have opportunities to go out, meet new people, socialize in groups, but people begin to disperse... All of the sudden, when I hit about 37, i looked around and realized all of my friends were having the 2nd kid and they stopped going anywhere (away from their home or mommy groups). They moved far away in the suburbs and stopped replying to any of my emails.
Does anyone here often worry about being old and alone? Parents getting old & having health issues. Your own declining health and no one around to check on you..to call or see you to make sure you are alive? Even though we spend alot of time at work, often people don't really socialize about anything personal, and then everyone goes home to families....I am starting to panic because my parents are both beginning to have severe health issues. I am very emotionally attached to them (they are the only people I have that really understand me, love me and try to help me right now) My parents are all I have.
Who do you talk to other than your spouse? or maybe coworkers? I'm feeling increasingly isolated because everyone I know/meet over the age of 35 is having babies or adding to their tight family unit. And women with families & young kids do not socialize or spend time with people that do not have kids. It's like the "Haves" versus the "Have Nots" I guess I wouldn't care so much if I had a great career or engaging hobbies that I loved. I feel like more than anything I want a few people in my life (in real life) that really know me, understand me and can provide emotional support, maybe some genuine interaction and laughter once in awhile. Who do you have to count on?
I can't seem to generate my own happiness for the life of me. Maybe I'm too needy?
I'm not a expert. I only barely understand what's going on with me. Two concerning things have happened recently, and I'd like some input and info on how to handle this.
1) My 20 yo nephew went through a bad break up. First love, first heartbreak, that kind of bad. I feel like I was the only one who took him seriously. I guess I'm the only person in the family who remembers being 21 and crying til' ya' vomit. He tried to cut himself, but he's just not that guy. I talked to him for hours. I called him a couple of times every day. And every time he said he was depressed, I rolled my eyes and corrected him- he's dealing with grief. His was a temporary situation created by a traumatic change. His went away in 8 days. He was still sad, but healing. As hearts do. Now he's much better.
2) My best friend's 12 yo daughter has labeled herself depressed. My friend "Jane" monitors the google hangout "Anne" has with her friends. Anne and company have recently begun discussions regarding depression, ADHD, pansexuality, bisexuality, and identifying as agender and/or transgender. Anne calls herself pansexual, agender, and depressed. She's 12. I'm not trying to discredit her. She might identify as pansexual and agender. I don't think she really does, but I'm not entrenched in her personal life, and I wouldn't know how to immediately recognize those traits in a person. I do, however, firmly believe she does not have depression. Jane thinks she's 12 and freaking the fuck out like girls do. This kid isn't depressed. And not, you know, in the way that adults just ignore teen complaints. Not in the way people shrug things off. Jane and I are very good friends, and being able to live with, deal with, and identify mental illness symptoms plays a role in it. We're pretty sure these girls are just reaching for labels to find any way to identify with big concepts. They don't have sex lives. Their bodies and minds are trying to pick a direction. It seems like Anne is picking a destination, and probably for something a little less than attention but almost.
So how do you talk to people, especially teens, about these things? My nephew will never learn. He will cling to depression like it is his favorite shirt. Some people are fine with being corrected about using depressed. (No, I don't correct everyone. Just the obviously nots.) How do you explain to a child that depression is a very serious condition, and that idly picking it like a lipstick color, trivializes it? Or how adopting LGBTQ labels from an already struggling community minimizes their very real concerns? She's 12 and desperate for an identity she can show her friends. I'm scared that explaining depression symptoms would only give her something to embrace, some new ways to behave to drive the point home. Jane and I don't want this girl to act it out only to become it. How can we talk to her about depression in other people?
So I've been with my boyfriend on and off for almost 5 years. I want to love him I really do, I want to have a good relationship. But we don't even have sex. I'm 21 years old, almost 22. I still love with my mom and I suffer from depression. I'm worried I'll fall into a spiral of depression like I did the last time we broke up and I almost committed suicide. It would be so much easier if I had someone to talk to to tell me it would all be fine and i will find somebody else who makes me way more happy. Honestly I don't remember when my life was somewhat normal. I work 50,000 times harder then my boyfriend. I actually make decent money and I'm going places and being recognized for things I do. Where as my boyfriend hasn't worked in months, he just now got a job that pays him an average amount of money. For a man I think it's shit pay. My dad and all the men in my family basically except my mom side. Work super hard for their cash. My dads side is very traditional in that sense. So the fact that I'm dating a low life is very concerning. I have cheated and we broke up then got back together a few times. We have got in raging fights etc I've thrown things. Clearly very unhealthy. I used to be much happier. I wish I had friends. My only friend is my mom and him. It's very depressing. Right now I'm on a very low dose of escitalopram. Which helps a bit and my job definitely helps but I don't have a good support system at home. I miss having friends and a supportive boyfriend. I don't know how to help this situation. Or maybe I do and I just need some encouragement. Any advice? Anyone been through something similar? No judgment please. If I want judgment I'll go to Yahoo answers... lol thanks in advance ??
photo is from when we first started dating maybe less than I year in.