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Whats the worst piece of advice a therapist or someone has given you about your mental health?


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20 hours ago, Wonderful.Cheese said:

Oh nothing too bad, just that my necklace was spinning or flowed in the wrong direction or some feng shui thing and that it could be causing my problems, said to me by a pdoc interviewing me. When

Feng Shui? Oh so the clutter in my flat might be the cause of my mental health problems. I'm off to rearrange the furniture.

 

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15 minutes ago, Raspberry said:

Feng Shui? Oh so the clutter in my flat might be the cause of my mental health problems. I'm off to rearrange the furniture.

 

Do like me. Rearrange the clutter.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Just reattempted the Local NHS service. 'I should take a break from therapy as I'm too dependant on it, being suicidal and self harming is my choice and change needs to come from within, and I can work on my problems at home. They sent me back to my GP and I can be re referred to them in the future when I've tried to engage in my local community as my isolation is a cause of most of my depressions. Even after I pointed out that I have been trying, I joined classes even ones that would mean getting on a bus for an hour to get there, 2 were cancelled and the last group I tried I was so out of place and awkward it was embarrassing. Where do they expect me to go and how am I not trying? They handed me a card for the crisis numbers which are shitload of help. I can't afford to try anymore places. I even contacted my dad to see if he could help. That was a waste of fucking time. The absent father can pay for my sister and her family to go on holidays, decorate her house, fund her wedding nut when I try and reach out for help I get 'things will get better in time'.  I'm so fucking tired of going around in circles. Sitting crying in front of 2 women who are supposed to be trained in mental health and  just being spoken down to hurts. You shouldn't feel worse for trying to get help. You get more support and useful advice from strangers on the internet then the people who are supposedly meant to be the ones trained to help.

I'm sorry I'm ranting but I just feel so abandoned and lost right now. 

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48 minutes ago, Raspberry said:

Just reattempted the Local NHS service. 'I should take a break from therapy as I'm too dependant on it, being suicidal and self harming is my choice and change needs to come from within, and I can work on my problems at home. They sent me back to my GP and I can be re referred to them in the future when I've tried to engage in my local community as my isolation is a cause of most of my depressions. Even after I pointed out that I have been trying, I joined classes even ones that would mean getting on a bus for an hour to get there, 2 were cancelled and the last group I tried I was so out of place and awkward it was embarrassing. Where do they expect me to go and how am I not trying? They handed me a card for the crisis numbers which are shitload of help. I can't afford to try anymore places. I even contacted my dad to see if he could help. That was a waste of fucking time. The absent father can pay for my sister and her family to go on holidays, decorate her house, fund her wedding nut when I try and reach out for help I get 'things will get better in time'.  I'm so fucking tired of going around in circles. Sitting crying in front of 2 women who are supposed to be trained in mental health and  just being spoken down to hurts. You shouldn't feel worse for trying to get help. You get more support and useful advice from strangers on the internet then the people who are supposedly meant to be the ones trained to help.

I'm sorry I'm ranting but I just feel so abandoned and lost right now. 

WTF. Your system sucks. ?

Bitches. 

And your dad...no words. 

Edited by DammitJanet
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2 hours ago, Raspberry said:

Where do they expect me to go and how am I not trying? They handed me a card for the crisis numbers which are shitload of help. I can't afford to try anymore places. I even contacted my dad to see if he could help. That was a waste of fucking time. The absent father can pay for my sister and her family to go on holidays, decorate her house, fund her wedding nut when I try and reach out for help I get 'things will get better in time'.  I'm so fucking tired of going around in circles. Sitting crying in front of 2 women who are supposed to be trained in mental health and  just being spoken down to hurts. You shouldn't feel worse for trying to get help. You get more support and useful advice from strangers on the internet then the people who are supposedly meant to be the ones trained to help.

I'm sorry I'm ranting but I just feel so abandoned and lost right now. 

While I don't deal with NHS, I feel your pain...trying everything. Asking the mental health "professionals" endlessly the same questions "what else can i do that I haven't already tried?" Then i find myself here, posting away everyday because folks here are the only ones with any understanding (or empathy) it seems. Where else can you go in crisis when the $ runs out, and no more therapy you can afford, no support groups available...the drugs aren't working consistently (if at all)......nothing?

And about your father - just as @DammitJanet said, there are no words...I am sorry.

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Decided to block and delete him from my phone so I'm not tempted to call. I never know why I am so desperate to get my parents to notice me. I've had a very different upbringing to my sister (she was raised by my dad, I stayed with my alcoholic mother and we did have another sister born between us her death was pretty much the catalyst for my parents divorce, its all a bit chaotic), so its like she was born in the happy period, I was born in the bad. She has a job, family etc. I have nothing.

I wish I hadn't of asked him for help. I feel like an absolute idiot for opening up and saying how bad things have gotten.

The worse thing is he visited me in hospital after I overdosed so he knows that last time it was classed as high risk as I didn't seek help and that if I say I'm feeling this way and I can't get help I mean it. I was really hoping he would offer something. He is quite well off so I kind of hoped that with all the things he does for my sister he I was really hoping he would offer something even if it was just to pop round and see me once a week.

GP appointment tomorrow for something else but I think I'll ask for my new SSRI's.

So today I learnt, don't ask for help, work on your problems by yourself at home, even if you're not sure what the problem is or how to deal with it, and therapy is apparently something you use to much. 

3 hours ago, Blahblah said:

While I don't deal with NHS, I feel your pain...trying everything. Asking the mental health "professionals" endlessly the same questions "what else can i do that I haven't already tried?" Then i find myself here, posting away everyday because folks here are the only ones with any understanding (or empathy) it seems. Where else can you go in crisis when the $ runs out, and no more therapy you can afford, no support groups available...the drugs aren't working consistently (if at all)......nothing?

And about your father - just as @DammitJanet said, there are no words...I am sorry.

Its exhausting isn't it? Feeling so desperate and empty. Sometimes I'm literally begging for help and getting nowhere. I'm so glad this forum exists.  Even just posting on the random boards gives me a distraction, something to do and seeing people that understand and want to offer one and other advice and support is so comforting.

Thank you all for listening to me rant x

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9 hours ago, Raspberry said:

So today I learnt, don't ask for help, work on your problems by yourself at home, even if you're not sure what the problem is or how to deal with it, and therapy is apparently something you use to much. 

Its exhausting isn't it? Feeling so desperate and empty. Sometimes I'm literally begging for help and getting nowhere. I'm so glad this forum exists.  Even just posting on the random boards gives me a distraction, something to do and seeing people that understand and want to offer one and other advice and support is so comforting.

Thank you all for listening to me rant x

Thank you for posting. It makes me feel a tiny bit less alone here.  It is very exhausting feeling desperate for relief and empty all of the time, then coming across invalidation everywhere we go.

Even more exhausting: Forcing ourselves to socialize, meet & interact with others (not isolate), and in a way, deny this large part of our identity and emotions -  We are forced (and often encouraged) to "fake it until you make it" put on the public mask, minimize our "crazy" problems and "act opposite" like our illness does not exist. So we just "suck it up" and keep taking meds, that somewhat numb the pain but don't really solve or "cure" anything....Often I wonder if it's worth continuing this effort.

Edited by Blahblah
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  • 1 month later...

I had a tdoc tell me I want to be depressed, otherwise therapy and meds would help. Though she also said I didn’t need (and she didn’t believe in) psych meds for depression.

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The worst was being told to ignore my physical concerns as it's only in my head

 

And to agree to a tiny inheritance and massive debt that comes with it because It is possible to pay off debt in the thousands while living on 240/ month. 

 

Four years later I have serious health issues and no insurance or treatment, my account is frozen and have nowhere to live but with a partner who makes me so much worse. 

 

I think all of that could've been avoided if she admitted the full extent of my concerns was realistic and not just an exaggerated emotional reaction. I especially dislike how people on normal income like to imagine someone who wears shoes with holes in them in minus temperatures and is being constantly threatened with homelessness by debt collectors can just pay it off with 240 barnacles. And have basic living expenses and medical treatment covered. 

Or when they tell me to reason with a delusional partner who happens to have no empathy whatsoever. Or that I need to either accept his behavior or leave, without telling me where to leave to. Told me to rent a place. What part of I have zero money did she not understand? To shower at the local pool. If I could afford a pool pass, I wouldn't have been worried about that. 

They're acting like we don't want to get help when we answer their idiotic "oh that one's easy! Just BUY xyz!" by pointing to our bank balance, court and eviction notices. Riiiiight, just buy things, why didn't I think of just paying for a place, paying to have multiple abscessed teeth treated, or my DVT, or just paying the debt off and none of this would have been an issue! Why didn't I see there's a solution to all of this which is simply paying for stuff with imaginary money!! Duuh!! Why don't I just agree with my idiot partner that it's of more importance that he'd not have to spend the evening on the couch alone than it is for me to be with my dying mother on the night she is leaving this world, why don't I just accept him saying i'm worthless (actually he said retarded)  for having no more money to pay for his endless list of wants, and why don't I just pay dozens of thousands to prevent a clot from killing me?! Oh they know why, because it's just "emotional distress" that's why. When I can't pee for a week due to obvious obstruction protruding through my stomach it's also just in my head and thus my kidneys will not die. 

 

Heh. I like my clots these days. Because they're a promise I won't have to endure life for much longer. 

All of this is so EASY, we obviously like being depressed and declining these OBVIOUS solutions! 

I'm not a vengeful person, I don't think. But I wish such professionals had to live like they expected their clients to live. And that they weren't given the mercy of a clot that's going to eventually end their misery. 

 

What trumps it, they make us go from ill to suicidal. Why are they not behind bars. 

Edited by ShameShameShame
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  • 4 weeks later...

"Don't read the Internet". Ha ! I answered "You have no right to dictate my surfing habits or right to use the Internet. I came here to see a doctor that practices medicine, get to it doc".   

Edited by notloki
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"Why do you want so badly to be understood anyway? I don't understand why you care so much if people understand you."

 

fuck you, man.

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2 hours ago, Wooster said:

"Why do you want so badly to be understood anyway? I don't understand why you care so much if people understand you."

 

fuck you, man.

Oh my goodness, Woo, that is terrible.

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2 hours ago, Wooster said:

"Why do you want so badly to be understood anyway? I don't understand why you care so much if people understand you."

 

fuck you, man.

this is horrible on its own, but the fact that a professional said this makes it so much worse. holy shit, dude.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Where do I start?...

Doctor 1: It's your fault you're going through depression. You're unhappy with your life (I wasn't). When I tried telling him that I'd been hearing voices he scoffed and got up and walked out of the room refusing to listen to me.

Doctor 2: After my meds were reduced my symptoms came back. When I was hospitalised and told the doctor he said oh right and then reduced my dosage even more. The symptoms got worse.

Doctor 3: After telling him that the meds (or dosage) I was on weren't working he started yelling at me telling me the meds were great and that I was wrong and that all I was suffering from was anxiety when I told him that I wasn't anxious he yelled at me and told me I didn't know what I was talking about. Ummmm I think I'd know if I was anxious or not? Even the psych nurse who was there and who had seen me several times before said I wasn't anxious.

Doctor 4: Are you sure you're not just bored and that it's all in your head? Oh you've heard voices have you? Rigggghht (said in a very mocking voice).

Therapist: You need to go out more and if you do you won't have these symptoms (it didn't work). You need to ignore your symptoms. They're no big deal. (didn't work)

So-called ''normal people'': fake it til you make it. I hate hate hate this statement. It's bullshit and can be very damaging. The more you ignore your feelings the worse it will get especially if you're going through depression. We were given emotions for a reason. Thanks very much for the ''advice'' but I don't need it especially since trying to fake it until I make it made the depression worse and I ended up in hospital so next time and for evermore I won't be taking that advice.

Is it any wonder why I feel reluctant to speak to doctors? It has me convinced that something has been written on my file about me for them to be treating me like this. Or maybe I'm just paranoid I don't know.

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4 hours ago, dazed and confused said:

Where do I start?...

Doctor 1: It's your fault you're going through depression. You're unhappy with your life (I wasn't). When I tried telling him that I'd been hearing voices he scoffed and got up and walked out of the room refusing to listen to me.

Doctor 2: After my meds were reduced my symptoms came back. When I was hospitalised and told the doctor he said oh right and then reduced my dosage even more. The symptoms got worse.

Doctor 3: After telling him that the meds (or dosage) I was on weren't working he started yelling at me telling me the meds were great and that I was wrong and that all I was suffering from was anxiety when I told him that I wasn't anxious he yelled at me and told me I didn't know what I was talking about. Ummmm I think I'd know if I was anxious or not? Even the psych nurse who was there and who had seen me several times before said I wasn't anxious.

Doctor 4: Are you sure you're not just bored and that it's all in your head? Oh you've heard voices have you? Rigggghht (said in a very mocking voice).

Therapist: You need to go out more and if you do you won't have these symptoms (it didn't work). You need to ignore your symptoms. They're no big deal. (didn't work)

So-called ''normal people'': fake it til you make it. I hate hate hate this statement. It's bullshit and can be very damaging. The more you ignore your feelings the worse it will get especially if you're going through depression. We were given emotions for a reason. Thanks very much for the ''advice'' but I don't need it especially since trying to fake it until I make it made the depression worse and I ended up in hospital so next time and for evermore I won't be taking that advice.

Is it any wonder why I feel reluctant to speak to doctors? It has me convinced that something has been written on my file about me for them to be treating me like this. Or maybe I'm just paranoid I don't know.

Horrible. You've had more than your share of crappy doctors.

That "fake it until you make it" crap was actually told to me by a therapist. And you are so, so right. I never thought of it your way so I never had a response. That advice is not only ineffective but it is insulting.

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I have another thread going about this, but wanted to say it here, too.

I was recently told by my new pdoc (2nd visit), that, in her opinion, I have  a deep-seated unconscious need to stay sick, and "I'm going to keep you on your current meds, but I'm not going to try anything new..."

I can't ditch her until I find another doc, but the search is definitely going on.

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  • 5 months later...

When I was stuck seeing a shrink as kid, the guy told me to tell a bully that "I understand and its okay if you like me". Not only did I get bullied worse for a few more years eventually the guy got together a group of boys who sodomized me. Luckily, most of the extra guys lost thier will to participate halfway through. It could have been much worse.

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