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Stalkers Anonymous


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I have GOT to stop internet stalking my ex's.  Especially the most recent one, it makes me all sad and stuff.  I hate it when I see that they are looking for dates again, I hate it when I know what they are doing, I hate it when I see that they are actually surviving without me...  It sucks.  I checked my one ex-bf's email for 2.5 YEARS after we broke up, until he finally changed his password.  BAD.  At least now I am just checking out their profiles on random websites (myspace, friendster).  I don't want to talk to them, just know what they are doing. 

And am I paranoid about writing this because if they are web stalking me they could be reading it?  You betcha.  But I am sure that gives me too much importance in their head.  Or they are just saner than I am. 

I hate relationships.  I suck at them.  ;)

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omg.  i was just doing this last night.  googling exes.  wondering wtf.  how could they go on without me.  i get all freaked.  like i have all this pain and grief, even years later.  sadness.  of course i have gone on with my life.  but its different somehow that they do it.  i dont know.  i am babbling.  the one ex i just google to see if he's dead or in jail.  i am still afraid of him.

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I was constantly stalking my current boyfriend online until I started Effexor. 

It's a baaaad habit.  Looking for something incriminating and even when not finding it being certain I must have missed SOMETHING.  I'd get myself in quite the state with that kind of behaviour.  Bad news.

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Well, there's one good thing about age.  When I Google my ex-husband, all I get are some bridge tournaments he's playing in down in Florida.  HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Seriously, ladies, this can't be healthy.  I think we all realize that.  I'm now living in the place where I grew up many years ago.  A guy I went with in HS and later was engaged to still lives here and we run into him from time to time.  Another old boyfriend did some construction work on our house and he plays in the same community band that we do.  (I see him every week.)

Ya gotta move past it.  They're just people, just a couple of individuals who are grains of sand on a very big beach.  It's not going to help you to know where they are and what they're doing.  (Unless they're dangerous, like Pinky's ex).

Watch television.  Learn to crochet.  Make a photograph album.  Go volunteer at the library or the soup kitchen.  But there has to be something to help you get your mind off those useless guys who done ya wrong.  They aren't worth another minute of your time.

olga

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google? heh.

there's only one ex i can find on google and thats because he was on trial for homocide.  :)

i used to have a major issue with a few ex's. there is only one though...that i cant seem to let go. i used to read his email constantly, and manipulate him into breaking it off with his current beau's because they 'just werent good for him'.  i would LOSE it, because i couldnt stand the fact that he wasnt with me, or he was interested in someone else...even when i was the one that broke it off with him.  he'd do the same thing to me, it was a vicious relationship.

i dont do that anymore.  this was years ago...and i was very fragile. him and i are friends, which sometimes i think is a very stupid thing but like i said - we cant seem to let eachother go.

...so yeah.

;)

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I hear ya. It is a huge blow to the ego to see ex's getting on with their lives. To think that they really don't need us to be happy. It sucks. Don't they know that they're supposed to be pineing away for us for the rest of their lives? But, it rarely happens that way. Don't let it get you down. Preserve your self esteem by moving on your ownself. It gets better with time. But really, all you're doing is torturing yourself by checking up on him. Olga's advice was great.

Croix

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like i have all this pain and grief, even years later.  sadness. 
This struck a nerve.  I definitely hold on to pain for too long, and need to learn to let go. 

Don't they know that they're supposed to be pineing away for us for the rest of their lives?

THAT'S what I'm saying!  Like my first love from HS who I STILL have issues about.  HOW can he possibly have moved on and gotten married?  Granted it's been 8 years since we broke up, but still!

I know I need another hobby.  I mostly do it at work when I am bored.  Girls are dumb.  sigh.

BUT I did find out that this 1 guy I was dating was married from googling him... 

And Tal?  Dating a future murderer cannot be a good sign!

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I look, too, but I hate my ex-boyfriend, so I do it in order to make fun of him and feel better about myself.

I guess that's not the healthiest thing, either, though.  ;)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, I'm not well in the head, but it sounds healthier that why I do it, which I could have written Gwen's post.

Sometimes I think it's just plain ole' boredom too, or at least would like to think so.

I don't know, but sign me up.

S9

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Seldarin,

I am SO glad I'm not the only one who ran to those sites to see if they were there!

Hahahahaha! (Maniacal laughter)

Not that I'm a bad guy, mind you.

Just really vindictive exes.

Info(datable)Nut

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I admit, I've googled my ex husband a few times, just to see where he lives and what he does. It never works- he's really private and knows how to take internet precautions. why do people put their real names on their myspace pages or whatever? that is a huge mystery to me.

it is important for us to use the internet to check up to see if someone is a criminal or married or soemthing, but we need to resist the urge to just obsess about our exes and cyber stalk them. Reading his email for more than 2 years is kinda stalking! I changed my password when i broke up with fucktard so that wouldn't happen (he read his ex's email, why not mine?). That kind of worried me (that he invaded her space like that...)

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So I just found 2 great websites. 

www.dontdatehimgirl.com lets you post and search info about cheating men.

www.womansavers.com lets you post and search positive and negative reviews of guys.

Holy.  Crap.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Woot. I'm not on either one!

I can think of one ex that'd stick me on there out of spite. (She cheated on me, then got furious when I broke up with her. After that it got ugly. Such drama.)

I have checked up on exes using the internet, but just to see if they were doing ok, cause I do worry about them sometimes.

Well, except the aforementioned one. ;)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

AHAHAHAHA, I could add a few to the list, lol. :)

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