Heartbroken

[Pixiechick]

So I’ve recently had my heart broken by someone I thougth was the love of my life. The way he ended the relationship was disrespectful, disregarding our years together and just overal shattered my heart into a million pieces.

The first two weeks I was going on fine, I kept myself busy, I was barely home and I didn’t give myself the time to even think about it. It has been in the last week that it has really hit me. How much I invested into the relationship, only to find out that I was the only one. How much love I still have and have had for this man, only to find out that he didn’t feel the same. How many years I’ve spent building something together, memories, a life, only to be all taken away in a second. 

I think what hurts the most, is the when I realized how easily he ended things. Withouth remorse, without so much as a blink of an eye. That really made me realize how little I ment to him. And that’s what hurts the most. Someone being your whole world, and you not being even a speck of theirs. 

How could I not see it all along? My friend told me, that it’s because I really did and still do love him. I couldn’t see that he was not as invested as I was. She didn’t see it either.

How do you guys deal with heartbreak? I haven’t been able to eat, sleep or think straight since it happend. And the urges of a relapse are really really strong. I’ve already relapsed in my eating, I don’t want to do it in SI too. 

What is something that helped you through a rough breakup? When you feel really worthless, unimportant and just broken? 

 

[Blahblah]

1 hour ago, Pixiechick said:

I think what hurts the most, is the when I realized how easily he ended things. Withouth remorse, without so much as a blink of an eye. That really made me realize how little I ment to him. And that’s what hurts the most. Someone being your whole world, and you not being even a speck of theirs.

How do you guys deal with heartbreak? I haven’t been able to eat, sleep or think straight since it happend. And the urges of a relapse are really really strong. I’ve already relapsed in my eating, I don’t want to do it in SI too. 

What is something that helped you through a rough breakup? When you feel really worthless, unimportant and just broken?

I'm so sorry. Breakups have always been a huge trigger for my illness also. I would usually increase my meds, go to more therapy and just try to take better care of myself, distract by getting out of the house for a walk, reach out to friends (although i didn't really have any close friends at that time) . I think that the only thing that made it go away was time.....In the depths of despair, I wrote a sort of maudlin "goodbye letter" to him (but never sent it) It listed all of the memories and things that I felt between us. Still to this day, when I hear certain songs, I remember the person and feel broken all over again. It sucks.

[Raspberry]

7 hours ago, Pixiechick said:

So I’ve recently had my heart broken by someone I thougth was the love of my life. The way he ended the relationship was disrespectful, disregarding our years together and just overal shattered my heart into a million pieces.

The first two weeks I was going on fine, I kept myself busy, I was barely home and I didn’t give myself the time to even think about it. It has been in the last week that it has really hit me. How much I invested into the relationship, only to find out that I was the only one. How much love I still have and have had for this man, only to find out that he didn’t feel the same. How many years I’ve spent building something together, memories, a life, only to be all taken away in a second. 

I think what hurts the most, is the when I realized how easily he ended things. Withouth remorse, without so much as a blink of an eye. That really made me realise how little I ment to him. And that’s what hurts the most. Someone being your whole world, and you not being even a speck of theirs. 

How could I not see it all along? My friend told me, that it’s because I really did and still do love him. I couldn’t see that he was not as invested as I was. She didn’t see it either.

How do you guys deal with heartbreak? I haven’t been able to eat, sleep or think straight since it happend. And the urges of a relapse are really really strong. I’ve already relapsed in my eating, I don’t want to do it in SI too. 

What is something that helped you through a rough breakup? When you feel really worthless, unimportant and just broken? 

 

I've been though this. It a lot of ways I still am.

I was with my ex for 7 years. He was my only friend, and the person I told everything to.  I hate knowing that he knows so much about me, everything I've every told him about my life, every habit, every flaw, every secret. Its like he has a huge part of me with him and I can't do anything about that. 
He ending things so easily as well. 7 years together and then he moved in with someone else. I got an email. The worse thing is I can't blame him. He is 13 years older than me so already has and ex wife and kids. He is very well educated. He has a great job. He is very sociable. He has a lot of hobbies. He is everything I'm not and so is she. Now whenever I try to go out I worry that I might see one of them or worse them together and her with the ring on her finger. I thought I could spend the last 2 years trying to becoming a better person. I wanted to work so hard, and change so much I wouldn't feel so awful about myself. I wanted to prove to him I could be normal and that I could be mended. I wanted him back. I haven't improved. If anything I've gotten worse. 

I just wish he had of been honest with. It kills me that I wasn't even worth that.

I don't want to take away from your original post but I do want to say I know what you are going through. I don't have any advice on how to help you through your break up but you are not alone in in how you are feeling and if you want to talk I will be happy to listen..

 

[sugarsugar]

I was in a similar situation with my husband. He actually was planning to move while I was at work and leave me to come home to find him and his stuff gone but I caught on before that. I was caught off guard and devastated. I told myself I did fine before I met him and I’d find a way to do fine again, and didn’t want someone who’d do me that way anyway. Then I worked to actually believe all that and stayed super busy. I also had a support system at that point who took my side but I was miserable less and less over time. At 6 months later he asked to come back. Are you kidding me?  I refused to even discuss it, why would I get back together with someone who would say horrendously hurtful things and plan to leave me like that?  He said awful things when he left including that he’d been living a lie with me. Also then I had a tdoc who helped me. I still feel twinges thinking of it and the sense of betrayal but as I said time and support helped, plus cutting off contact with him. If I still was in contact it would have been harder. I was deceived and that hurts, maybe you feel that way too. It did affect my ability to trust. I hope you have some support and can avoid any contact, you’ve done nothing wrong here. 

[wookie]

I am going through some stuff.  I dumped an ex of six years.  He was emotionally abusive and did some awful shit.  When I confronted him on the issues a switch went off where I just thought, "no more."  And to think I loved him.

I felt much better when I cut him loose. 

He tried to contact me.  He developed depression and asked me for tips.  He then developed more serious problems.  When I spoke about our past to him I mentioned that him speaking to me was not a green light for his abuse.  He could not answer nor could he apologize.  That was the final nail in the coffin.

I have heart ache from a few things but I take my time working through them.

[Pixiechick]

Thank you all for replying.

I don't know how to deal anymore. I was getting better and now it's like I'm back at the beginning. We talked a bit yesterday, because Fb threw some memories in my way, and I sent it to him saying something like damn you fb for reminding me of this. I have deleted everything else, this one I musn't have seen. He said that haven't I deleted it all. We then started bickering about what we have to work on on our own. And I was saying that I need to remind myself and think about the bad stuff as well, not just the good times we had, because otherwise I'll never be able to move on. He then commented on my SI, and I went into full on rage mode on him.

I think it might have been too soon that we spoke to each other. I miss him like crazy. I miss the good us. And I know it just takes time, but honestly I don't know how long I can take this.

I don't know if I'm strong enough to get over this. I keep going from anger to full on sadness. And it's when this sadness hits me, that I want to just end it all. Everything hurts and I don't know what else to do, to help myself.