stable not balanced Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 the seconds after you close your eyes there is still light energy. it can become patterns, white or color? i am not manic in anyway, shape or form. just curious to see if this happens to anyone else. couple of times, the light is ringed around my eyes and then moves towards the center where it becomes a squished circle that pulses, over and over. i watch it for awhile and then have to open my eyes before i can close them again. sometimes it is purple/red forms(?). sometime just splothes of light. i asked my pdoc. i thought this was normal, as far as seeing light after you close your eyes. she said she had never heard of it. she and i closed our eyes and she said she saw black. i felt like my eyelids were more like window shades. could still see the light. (the shade part, not the outsides) i still think it is somewhat normal, to see the excess energy left in your eyes after you close them. she said to just try some risperdal at that moment to see if this makes it stop. i will try, i love experiments! way out there thought: what if our eyelids do not do their jobs properly and we are letting in excess energy? there is no filter. (the shades where you can still see the light?) it goes straight to our brains. or maybe our eyes are the problem? ok, just so you know, i think of all this weird shit all the time. i analzye everything. my conclusions may be way off the mark (or maybe not, he he), but i still like to think them! Have a bubbly day! Kathryn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invictus61101 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I see colors and shapes and patterns too. Always have. Didn't know it wasn't normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Century Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I see colors and shapes and patterns too. Always have. Didn't know it wasn't normal. ditto Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweii Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 This happened to me ALL THE TIME, ever since I was a little kid. I think it's normal. Oddly enough, when I started an antipsychotic it stopped. I kinda miss it. Now it's just gray or yellow or red when I close my eyes. No patterns. It was usually a serie of patterns that repeated over and over again. Very beautiful. BUT, I don't think you need Risperdal for this. I've talked to lots of people this happens to, MI or not. If it is a problem that bothers you, then thats another story. Edited: I noticed the patterns and colours occuring more often when I smoked pot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whatsgoingon Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Yep me too. Always assumed it was normal. Used to love to sit in class with my eyes shut watching the pretty patterns. No wonder everyone thought I was a loser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robotlove29 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 me too, it seemed really cool when i was a kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendigoEater Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Whatever you do, don't do anything to eliminate seeing this light. If your shrink thinks this is abnormal and you should medicate it away, your shrink is a jackass. I have been using this light my whole life. When I was a kid I played light games behind my eyes; watched the light take form and dance and play. Now I use it in meditation. It gets to the point that the light shows me things, I can stare through it and actual pictures, even little memory or dream videos, play. I have made a form of light after a certain amount of controlled dissociation through mediation and then asked it questions. I perceive it as my subconcious. I experience some pleasant ego loss and sort through issues. Often my questions are answered in rsymbolic riddles by the light that I then decipher through later contemplation and meditation. This is a fucking gift. Many things that may be a bipolar trait are gifts to balance out the curse, such as grand creativity. I often form scenes for a work of art I have been contemplating when I play the light game and then I can draw; it just pours out. Utilize this, it is not something abnormal or wrong, it is a bonus. And a lot of fun. Your poor shrink!!! Only sees black???? How unfortunate. Now, I do medicate with marijuana... but i certainly did not as a child, and really did not until after I was diagnosed. I also am a fan of pscyhedellics. I find them spiritually fullfililng and use them with much ritual and intent. But that is my personal biochemistry and whatnot. We are all different. These may be reasons why, despite medications, my light games have not been eliminated. I am not complaining. I am a firm believer that 'our' (the mentally 'interesting') natural dmt is often released irregularily in our brains which often can be the cause of what we feel are strange states. Rather than it being produced soley for our dreaming. This may be the cause of panic states, dissociation, hallucinations, feelings of being followed by 'something' or not being alone... even beliefs of alien abduction... It is a natural chemical in our bodies. It may be responsible for our light games. People don't want to do a lot of laboritory experiments with dmt because of its psychedellic properties which therefore cause the majority to percieve it as dangerous. The educated and informed are not in any danger. Doctors are not fond of the mentally 'ill' taking psychedellics, though I had one psychologist who thought they were a very useful theraputic tool. Basically what I am saying is, a natural chemical may be released in our bipolar brains that allows us to see a little extra, and this extra can be used as a tool to sort out all the crap we sometimes hide away. A wonderful meditative and introspective tool. So go into the light my friend. It comes naturally to you, drug-free. Play. And enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
null0trooper Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 the seconds after you close your eyes there is still light energy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncc1701 Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Heya, Totally, totally normal. Something our retinas do. Some people (normal people??) never notice it!! Their loss. I always thought it was neat. Looking at it, putting it into conscious awareness, is fun I think. --ncc-- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waterfall Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 I thought I was the only one. It only happens once in a while but it's great when it does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeDiCaTioN TiMe Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 I think it's fairly normal, but since taking the old tricyclic, amitriptyline, I don't get it as much as I use to. When taking drugs that have anticholinergic side effects such as most anti-psychotics & the old tricyclic antidepressants, be aware that they do alter eye ball pressure (intraocular pressure) and in the worse case can cause eye & vision damage. Like everything, a little is OK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bxt227us Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Hi, I think that can be normal and not a reason by itself to medicate. If you close your eyes and then press down on your eyes firmly with your fingers (takes a few seconds), you will see lots of colors (that works on everyone). I think it's a retina thing. Yes, I also see a "ghost" image of whatever I was just looking at when I close my eyes and see faint splotches of color, but then I'm not normal (bipolar with a history of hallucinogen use). Ask your doc to do the squishing the eyes experiment. Oh yeah, does the pulsing you see coincide with your heartbeat? The tiny vessels in your retina can place a tiny amount of pressure on it. Not to worry but have you been tested for glaucoma? No I don't you have it, just curious. -Dan couple of times, the light is ringed around my eyes and then moves towards the center where it becomes a squished circle that pulses, over and over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 You guys are talking about phosphenes, aren't you? If I'm remembering it right, it's pressure against the retina that causes it. lily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peeej Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 yesterday, while spacey and staring, i watched particles in the fluid on the surface of my eye. i felt like a human microscope. i think i could see nuclei. since i was a kid (way before any hallucinogens), i have watched the splotches, played with the rings that happened when i closed and pressed on my eyes, made light impressions on my retinas and then closed my eyelids and played with the image by moving my eyes. if your doctor couldn't see them when s/he closed her eyes, i don't think it really means anything. plenty of people don't notice the dust flying through the air in the sunlight coming in a window. or at least don't get captivated by it. some of the stuff i perceive, i just kind of let it be that - perception. as an artist, i value some of my altered perceptions. that said. when it's disturbing (and it sometimes IS), meds are important and it helps to know what works. with the right supervision, experiments are cool. in light, pj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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