Neighbor who has Borderline traits

[Dewey]

I woke up this morning, feeling panic overwhelming me over a negative response from my neighbor.  The emotion I am experiencing is deep distress and I can feel it internally crushing me.  I am not coping at all well with this. 

I find myself drawn to her because we share a common trauma background.  Sometimes she comes to my apartment just to talk about all this and I feel soo connected to her.  I am beginning to come to the conclusion that she has some borderline traits in her - it's the push away and suddenly pull back. She acts like she hates me and suddenly she loves me and tells me so.  When she pushes away, it's an awful experience and leaves me an emotional wreck.  Then she will come back and saturate me with her needs to talk about soo many things where I live, her emotional instability issues, etc.  I sit and listen and we talk and I feel better after she leaves and we are finally getting along, only to be assaulted again verbally from her and weeks go by and she ignores me. 

Another odd thing about her.  With this intimate friendship I have with her (Intimate meaning sharing of like experiences),  she will call on my cell or text me but when she is out and about with her friends (she only goes out in public with her friends), she ignores me and so do they. 

So, this morning I am experiencing her pushing me away violently last night. 

I am drawn to this behavior from her, as it feeds into my cycle of abuse history.  I used to go back to my mother just to be abused.  I would call her and she would act delighted to hear from me and tell me how much she loves me, only moments later to go for the jugular.  I would walk away from that telephone conversation feeling completely ruined.  This is what is occurring with my neighbor, I am in the dance of abuse with her and I don't know how to get out of it.  Even just recognizing what is really going on, I can't seem to extricate myself from her.

I block her telephone calls and texting one minute and then open it back up.  Last night I shut off my phone so that I would not be tempted to read any lingering texts from her and react to it.  This morning when I turned on my phone, she did not respond to my last text to her and I was disappointed and fearful what she must be saying behind my back to her 4 close friends. 

I live in fear of her and in fear of myself when she abuses me.  It takes alot of work to pick myself back up each time.