Dewey Posted September 22, 2018 Share Posted September 22, 2018 Thursday night was scary for me. I felt a mood suddenly ink in and I think I may have been hallucinating or dissociating due to the anxiety I was experiencing. I actually saw out of the corner of my right eye a face that was letting out all the angst I was feeling. It was a tortured hideous expression, and as soon as it appeared, it disappeared and I could feel all those churning emotions inking back into me. Soo weird !!! Was this dissociation, am I now BiPolar, what in the heck happened to me? Never had this, this intense before. I was afraid of........ me. I don't have a clue what triggered all this. I could tell something seriously was wrong, so what do I do? I go straight to the computer and go to my favorite site to order things I have never been able to afford before as that is one technique to self soothe, only I went overboard. Yes, I extended my line of credit one late night and now I am buying things that I don't even remember, even two or three of the same item. I am now busy returning most of them. However, there are items I have wanted for sooo long that I am now buying, I won't even go into the items I am sending back, way to embarrassing, lol. What scared me the most was the enormous scary mood swing, out of the blue, the mood was bigger than life to me. I could hear my psych doc telling me what to do as going thru a mood swing like this your body can tolerate extra medication, so I took 1/2 of a 25 mg Seroquel and it did nothing to stop the mood, so 1/2 hour later, I took another half of the 25 mg and it worked, within 30 minutes I was out and I slept 14 hours, woke up in a completely different mood, a completely different person. I had to say to myself this morning when I woke up, who was that person last night, I didn't even recognize myself and what I went thru. What a difference a good nights sleep does and strong medicine to help me get to and stay asleep. Wondering now if I am BiPolar because I heard that only a solid 12 hours of sleep will break cycling and I was definitely cycling last night. I have been coming down from Zyprexa due to extreme vertigo, so wondering if this may have been part of what happened to me. I also have reduced the Klonopin due to issues with my HMO and have had to stock-pile them, which leaves me wide open for more anxiety. Lately, my mood and anxiety/panic have rendered me housebound and even sometimes too fearful to get out of my bed. Update: Last night felt extreme paranoia inking in, back at the computer ordering things I don't even remember ordering as I see notices coming thru my email account, so took a full 25 mg of Seroquel and within an hour, the paranoia was gone and I slept straight thru 14 hours until this morning. This morning feeling less paranoid, more grounded and a bit sedated due to the Seroquel. Will see how the day progresses and if the paranoia and dissociation occurs again tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blahblah Posted September 22, 2018 Share Posted September 22, 2018 (edited) Sounds like the Seroquel stopped the symptoms in their tracks - do you often use it as a PRN? A full restful sleep can really make a difference and hit a reset button sometimes. Oh and...interesting about the shopping habit - both online and in-store, it soothes me as well, sometimes buying few things calms me down. bizarre. Maybe it's the consumerist culture we live in these days Edited September 22, 2018 by Blahblah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dewey Posted September 22, 2018 Author Share Posted September 22, 2018 Yes, Blah, it stopped everything immediately and was able to sleep and felt much better when I first woke up. However, it's coming back in varying degrees right now and the filters I look thru are still very paranoid and having difficulty feeling grounded as the day progresses. I don't want to take more Seroquel as it makes me very sedated, but heck, I didn't realize the time, it's now 6PM. Makes sense as the light goes down I become more paranoid and emotions too large again, so it's okay to take the Seroquel at this time. I didn't realize the time, missing major gaps in time today. Was hoping this was a one time thing, but seeing it's not, very disappointed. Thank you Blah for your response Helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mediconvert Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 I can feel paranoia and euphoria when I am hypomanic. I also like to go online and shop. I slam the mania down by taking a PRN of 50mg extra Seroquel at night for at least 4 nights minimum. The consistent sleeps seems to temper the mood. I hope that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dewey Posted November 11, 2018 Author Share Posted November 11, 2018 On 11/10/2018 at 10:24 AM, Mediconvert said: I can feel paranoia and euphoria when I am hypomanic. I also like to go online and shop. I slam the mania down by taking a PRN of 50mg extra Seroquel at night for at least 4 nights minimum. The consistent sleeps seems to temper the mood. I hope that helps. Thank you Medi ~ I needed to hear this. I am on day two of a hypomanic state. Had 12 hour sleep last two days, but not correcting it yet. Have been slowly upping Zyprexa to 5 mg + adding in Trasadone and Klonopin. Still through out the daytime hours, I feel the mood shifting (take another 1/4 tablet of Zyprexa) which I can settle down for another 4 hours until the irritability and paranoia inks back in. Trying to get enough coverage so that I don't have to take Zyprexa 4X a day. Shopping, yeup, did some damage yesterday, oh my !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(1)(4).thumb.jpg.329323dcff5340f9d840571cc5a09866.jpg)
Recommended Posts