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yellowlovesgray

Panic in a benzophobic climate...

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23 hours ago, Rabbit37 said:

Yes, I have a benzo-phobic pdoc, and I think it’s the norm now unfortunately. 

Just thought I’d throw this out, have you tried an AD for anxiety? Both of my daughters take Zoloft. It’s not perfect, but I do think it helps. Of course that wouldn’t touch a panic attack. 

Why are there always a few that ruin it for the rest of us 

Yeah they helped a little over the years but they wouldn't touch this when I tried it this year. I hadn't been on an SSRI in a long while and I think  CBD oil has played a factor in helping my depression, but I think this was actually still withdrawal. It was post acute withdrawal syndrome but they didn't know what that was. Someone here told me about it and it fits to a T. 

Thankfully that teeny dose of phenibut stopped it. Now the buspar is working fine and I feel great. 

I've lost everything though because I wasn't functional this year. Last year around this time a business publication named me one of Silicon Prairie's Most Influential and Inspirational Entreprenuers and I've pretty much lost my business. I have a lot of refunding to do and I'm gonna have to pray I don't get sued.

I'm disturbed that no medical professionals would help me, even when I stated I didn't care if they gave me the benzo, I just needed to be functional. My pdoc even said, "Yeah but what's functional?" Honestly I'm angry and wanna not use her anymore but realistically I'm scared of the future so I'm just gonna lie to her to save face and say that I just magically got better so she'll keep prescribing me the buspar for anxiety. I stopped taking everything else. I hate that I have to resort to all of this and I've never lied to a doctor but I jsut don't trust the medical community's judgement right now.

Edited by yellowlovesgray
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12 minutes ago, yellowlovesgray said:

Yeah they helped a little over the years but they wouldn't touch this when I tried it this year. I hadn't been on an SSRI in a long while and I think  CBD oil has played a factor in helping my depression, but I think this was actually still withdrawal. It was post acute withdrawal syndrome but they didn't know what that was. Someone here told me about it and it fits to a T. 

Thankfully that teeny dose of phenibut stopped it. Now the buspar is working fine and I feel great. 

I've lost everything though because I wasn't functional this year. Last year around this time a business publication named me one of Silicon Valley's Most Influential and Inspirational Entreprenuers and I've pretty much lost my business. I have a lot of refunding to do and I'm gonna have to pray I don't get sued.

I'm disturbed that no medical professionals would help me, even when I stated I didn't care if they gave me the benzo, I just needed to be functional. My pdoc even said, "Yeah but what's functional?" Honestly I'm angry and wanna not use her anymore but realistically I'm scared of the future so I'm just gonna lie to her to save face and say that I just magically got better so she'll keep prescribing me the buspar for anxiety. I stopped taking everything else. I hate that I have to resort to all of this and I've never lied to a doctor but I jsut don't trust the medical community's judgement right now.

I seriously doubt she’ll take the buspar away. It’s not addictive and if I’m not mistaken I thought was just an antihistamine, but could be wrong. You’re very lucky it helped you! Many find it to be a sugar pill. I wouldn’t bring up the phenibut...I’d just move on from here...especially if buspar seems to help. 

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1 minute ago, DammitJanet said:

I seriously doubt she’ll take the buspar away. It’s not addictive and if I’m not mistaken I thought was just an antihistamine, but could be wrong. You’re very lucky it helped you! Many find it to be a sugar pill. I wouldn’t bring up the phenibut...I’d just move on from here...especially if buspar seems to help. 

Exactly. Not gonna bring it up, it'll just be cause for terming me and I'm doing fine on the buspar. I think it was post acute withdrawal, thank you for bringing that up to my attention. I honestly feel better than all the years I was on clonazapam so that's good to know. I still wish this withdrawal hadn't been horrific but it is what it is. 

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38 minutes ago, Wonderful.Cheese said:

I fear if I get a new younger pdoc or if I am forced IP again that will be the end of klonopin and me. Then what? Go back to not leaving the house again? Yeah, because that’s really good for my mental health. 

Exactly - she didn't seem to understand (well nobody seemed to understand) that I needed to earn money to pay them for medical care because I couldn't even do my work that I do from HOME because I was in such a terrible state. I've been staying with my mom for almost a year and I've been agoraphobic, I've left the house to go to doctor's appointments and lunch/dinner with my family. And I didn't even do that with my family until about June or July.

They seemed to not get.it. at all. I'm 38 and I had to walk into appointments with my mom so she could pay for it with my sister's credit card. They can't afford this but the doctors didn't seem in any hurry to help me get on my feet so I could go back to working and didn't see how that was affecting a quality of life and that it was bad for my mental health. 

I couldn't make decisions or get myself to leave the house. I no longer even have a checking account, I'm using my paypal debit card. I'm so angry about the whole thing.

Edited by yellowlovesgray
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14 hours ago, yellowlovesgray said:

Exactly - she didn't seem to understand (well nobody seemed to understand) that I needed to earn money to pay them for medical care because I couldn't even do my work that I do from HOME because I was in such a terrible state. I've been staying with my mom for almost a year and I've been agoraphobic, I've left the house to go to doctor's appointments and lunch/dinner with my family. And I didn't even do that with my family until about June or July.

They seemed to not get.it. at all. I'm 38 and I had to walk into appointments with my mom so she could pay for it with my sister's credit card. They can't afford this but the doctors didn't seem in any hurry to help me get on my feet so I could go back to working and didn't see how that was affecting a quality of life and that it was bad for my mental health. 

I couldn't make decisions or get myself to leave the house. I no longer even have a checking account, I'm using my paypal debit card. I'm so angry about the whole thing.

I’m angry for you. This whole situation is so wrong. I wish I had better words or advice. I’m so sorry that you are going through this. Stuck with a horrible pdoc and not being able to switch without seeming to be dr shopping or med seeking, awful. 

Benzos are not for everyone but some need them long term to function. I can’t believe that your pdoc can’t see how much your functioning has changed. From working and being successful to not really being able to leave the house. That really makes me so mad at your pdoc. I’d like to write your pdoc an angry letter! Not that that would help. We are just crazies without any say. Sad but true. 

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Thought I'd update this thread because my mom's former employer just had this happen to him, too. He'd been taking Xanax for years, then he got a divorce and moved and nobody would fill his prescription in a new city. They gave him 3 tablets and told him to go to rehab. The family is of money so they were able to choose which one and chose one in another state outside of Texas.

This is a thing, ugh. I think this is just gonna be the future.

It was long withdrawal I was having - I drank two beers a day while the tremors were at their worst (I know, it's just SO uncomfortable), and was finally able to go without completely yesterday. it's still slightly bugging me enough to not be able to work but I'm applying anyway that way it'll be in the process by the time I'm near 100% again. I'll just rebuild my business when I'm better if I still feel like doing that.

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In the 30 years I have been seeing a psychiatrist I never had a pdoc refuse me benzos. I realize many here are on Medicaid and that makes things harder. Medicaid docs are less likely to write scripts for benzos than my private $400/hr pdoc. I have had my generalist offer them aggressively to me even though she knows my psychiatrist keeps me well stocked on benzos. I feel this is not isolated because a friend down south sees similar prescribing practice with benzos. Opioids have been tightened up everywhere, but that has to do with the rescheduling of hydrocodone to Schedule II. I find it that way in the west where I am.

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11 hours ago, yellowlovesgray said:

 This is a thing, ugh. I think this is just gonna be the future.

Not necessarily everywhere......I live in a southern state ( not anywhere near Texas, though).......

I have never had a problem getting a benzo prescribed or filled....In fact, my new pdoc that I just started seeing last month, prescribed an extra 1mg Klonopin in addition to the 2mg I was already taking.

Maybe it's a thing in Texas, but certainly not here......I'm sorry that you had to go through all that, hope you are doing okay....

Edited by CrazyRedhead

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I've never had a problem filling Adderall, Klonopin, Lunesta, and a breakthrough benzo like Ativan at any pharmacy at the same time. Years ago I did have one grouchy pharmacist refuse to fill my Dexedrine as I was an adult and "that is only for kids".  Sigh.

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1 hour ago, notloki said:

I've never had a problem filling Adderall, Klonopin, Lunesta, and a breakthrough benzo like Ativan at any pharmacy at the same time. Years ago I did have one grouchy pharmacist refuse to fill my Dexedrine as I was an adult and "that is only for kids".  Sigh.

What a dick... And who's the doctor here? lol

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31 minutes ago, mikl_pls said:

What a dick... And who's the doctor here? lol

Unfortunately pharmacists have the right to refuse any prescription if, in their opinion, it is not appropriate for the patient. The Boards of Pharmacy for each state controls this; I could not find an appeal/complaint process.

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9 hours ago, notloki said:

Unfortunately pharmacists have the right to refuse any prescription if, in their opinion, it is not appropriate for the patient. The Boards of Pharmacy for each state controls this; I could not find an appeal/complaint process.

*Sigh*

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On 12/11/2018 at 7:13 AM, CrazyRedhead said:

Not necessarily everywhere......I live in a southern state ( not anywhere near Texas, though).......

I have never had a problem getting a benzo prescribed or filled....In fact, my new pdoc that I just started seeing last month, prescribed an extra 1mg Klonopin in addition to the 2mg I was already taking.

Maybe it's a thing in Texas, but certainly not here......I'm sorry that you had to go through all that, hope you are doing okay....

It was never a thing for decades living in Dallas, when I moved to San Antonio the laws here had just been changed. 

Just saying to be careful about this, there’s a lot of changes starting up in many states that are completely new because of the “opioid crisis.”

If it hasn’t happened in your state yet that’s great. I never had a problem filling them either until I suddenly did.

The process is even different here now. You HAVE to see a therapist to determine you have ADD or anxiety, then you have to submit proof to a psychiatrist and make an appt and you MIGHT be able to get a benzo or stim. It’s hard to find appts here and those two appts can be months apart.

 

not sure why a therapist is in charge of this now but ok. I’d never heard of this process before. It’s less than 2 years old.

Edited by yellowlovesgray

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13 hours ago, yellowlovesgray said:

Just saying to be careful about this, there’s a lot of changes starting up in many states that are completely new because of the “opioid crisis.”

I understand......There actually has been a recent change in my state law, regarding controlled substances........I now have to do a urine drug screen every 6 months to prove I'm taking my benzo, and to prove I'm not taking any other controls I'm not prescribed.

The test screens for amphetamines, marijuana, opiates, benzos, cocaine, and some other illegal street drugs....I think it tests for 10 things total if I remember correctly.

 I passed my test, but the cost for the tests was expensive, luckily my insurance did cover it.....There's lab companies everywhere making millions off of all these pee tests.

Edited by CrazyRedhead
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I was forced CT klonopin seven years. Three mg a day. Had two grand mal seizures. Fired the docs after being psychotic for three months. Got back on it and weaned almost a year. 

 

Docs will not prescribe it to me for any reason. So I suffer w only gabapentin to take, 

 

ive almost got to the point of ending it all I can’t function.

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Posted (edited)

I feel your pain. I was yanked off klonopin because My pdoc discharged me to the public/state pdoc (long story) who is very anti Benzo. He was a giant asshole too seeing him made me feel like shit. I was only on a lower dose of klon than I really need to feel somewhat normal. Now none at all. I feel anxious all the time Like I’m awaiting execution or something, only death would be a relief at this point. People talk about anxiety like it’s a small issue but when it’s really bad and frequent/constant it is makes life barely worth living for me.

ETA: I don’t live in the us, there’s no opioid crisis here really but the benzophobia is an issue. Docs don’t like long term prescribing of them. They are usually okay if you just pop a Valium now and then but not everyday.

Edited by mcjimjam
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On 4/25/2019 at 11:59 PM, sonicwhite said:

I was forced CT klonopin seven years. Three mg a day. Had two grand mal seizures. Fired the docs after being psychotic for three months. Got back on it and weaned almost a year.

Why were you forced off CT?.....and why won't current docs prescribe klonopin to you?

I'm very sorry you're suffering to the point of wanting to end it all......Would it be an option for you to find a new pdoc?

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On 4/28/2019 at 5:40 AM, mcjimjam said:

I feel your pain. I was yanked off klonopin because My pdoc discharged me to the public/state pdoc (long story) who is very anti Benzo. He was a giant asshole too seeing him made me feel like shit. I was only on a lower dose of klon than I really need to feel somewhat normal. Now none at all. I feel anxious all the time Like I’m awaiting execution or something, only death would be a relief at this point. People talk about anxiety like it’s a small issue but when it’s really bad and frequent/constant it is makes life barely worth living for me.

So sad to hear this.....I can't understand why some docs are so anti-benzo......They are such a helpful class of meds for those who need them.

And you're correct that severe anxiety is NOT a small issue.....It causes great suffering, IMO.

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